Frequent questions

Table of Contents

Chapter I

Cultivating Children’s Minds and Discipline

We often cannot do activities at home.

【Q】 I have two children, one in first grade and the other in third grade. I want to do Shichida activities with them, but I have no time. They go to bed at 9 p.m., get up at 6 a.m., and leave the house at 7 a.m. They spend their evenings doing homework and playing. Time passes so quickly. I try to do activities with them for just 10 minutes a day, but I am no persistent. Is my will too weak?

 

【A】 In order to include activities in your daily life, you should begin by creating a daily rhythm. Your children can go to bed early and get up early. This is a good habit, so keep it. A suitable time for activities is a relaxed time like in the morning or after taking a bath. We recommend that children study in the morning, but if it is difficult to do that, reexamine your children’s evening and time before going to bed. Please set aside 10 to 20 minutes and make a plan for activities. You should connect activities with their life habits as best you can. Use pieces of time effectively.

The way you use the time will change depending on the contents of the activities. If you want your children to do worksheets, you should decide on the number of worksheets, and have them do those for 10 to 15 minutes. After they finish, you should check the worksheets, mark them at 100, and praise their efforts. If you want to show them flash cards, it is important to prepare in advance for the activity as much as possible so that you can start it anytime. It only takes a few minutes to finish this activity. Once you prepare for it, you can start it whenever your children are free.

Creating life rhythms is one point. For example, make sure you have your children prepare for the next day before going to bed. As you develop their independence, treasure the time you share with them, even if it is short. Take time to communicate with your children.

I get irritated raising my child

【Q】 I have a 2 year 5 month old son. I understand I raise him by accepting and praising him, but sometimes I get irritated because I have no time for myself. I have found recently that I look irritated just like my mother. Please tell me a quick way to remove my impatience so that my son will not inherit this “negative gene”.

【A】 It gives our hearts flexibility if we are able to have our own time, even if it is short. Because you stay with your son all day, it is understandable that you get tired. It is really difficult to make personal time especially when your children are little. Depending on your situation, it is good to make that most of places like part-time preschools.

Also, if there are child-rearing or play groups around you, join them. Children learn from their relationships with other children. While the children play, parents can talk about bringing up children. You will be relieved. You don’t have to devote everything to your children. With cooperation from other groups and people, it is possible to create your own time and be relaxed.

Now, you are focusing on your negative aspect. Give yourself positive suggestions so that you can focus on your good points. When you are falling asleep, try imagining what you want to be. Imagine these things as you breathe deeply and relax. It is also good to record your suggestions on a cassette or CD in advance and fall asleep as you play the recording. Use suggestions effectively. You may be limited in some ways but you also have experienced many things because of your son. Think about things as positively as possible.

I am easily irritated when I do activities at home with my child.

【Q】 I do activities but I become irritated or angry because my younger child complains or because I have less time. I try to greatly reduce the amount of activities we do, but I am anxious about the effects this will create.

 

【A】 The purpose of right brain education is not giving children knowledge or having them do something. If parents are irritated while they have their children do something, children will feel stress and lose their motivation. In addition, if they do something while troubled they will not wait to do the activities. This creates a bad cycle in which parents only get more irritated, and leads to a stressful left-brain based education. If parents and children do activities that are not relaxed or fun, the activities will create negative effects. It is not important to tell your children something. Remember that it is much more important to bring out goodness, character, and abilities that the child has had since he or she was born.

In order to think like this, stop believing that you have to do the activities correctly following the program. Change your thinking so that you try to spend short periods of time enjoying playing with your children. Your children will change and will enjoy staying beside and doing activities with you. In other words, the activities will become positive. It is all right if you cannot do activities correctly following the exact program. It is also all right to delay it somewhat. Please do not be anxious, but instead bring up your children’s minds. They will come to use their right brain easily. It is not a problem if you delay the program because your children can catch up immediately. They will do many activities because they want to. It is important to motivate your children.

What activities should we do when we don’t have much time?

【Q】 I have not been able to work with my younger 3 year-old boy because his schedule is determined by his older brother’s schedule (ex. lessons). When he was a baby, I did flash cards, but now I do nothing with him. Is it ok to start again now? How should I work with him when I am busy?

 

【A】 In order to improve children’s right brain ability, it is best to begin working with children as young as possible. But with human growth, it is never too late to start something. It is possible to activate his right brain if you make a great effort.

Once you bring out one right brain abilities, you can bring out other abilities as well. If you have no time for activities because you are busy, you should keep doing one activity to bring out others. For example, if you only have time for him to repeatedly listen to a CD of foreign languages and have him sound them out until he learns to recite it, you will develop not only his foreign language ability but also the great memorization ability of the right brain. The anxiety “it may be too late” has bad effects on your child. Do activities positively and patiently.

I care for my child all by myself and I have no time for activities.

【Q】 I take care of my child by myself until she falls asleep each night because my husband’s job is so busy. I have my child play outside and in the house because I am busy with housework. I am not sure I can do activities with my child for 15 minutes a day. I have my child watch videos or listen to CDs. Is this enough?

 

【A】 I know you want to spend precious time doing something for your child because you think about your child seriously. However, the idealism in which you want to do everything perfectly leads to stress. Relax and remember that it is all right to enjoy doing what your child can do because a parent’s impatience and anxiety has bad effects on his/her child. The best environment for children is one that lacks parents’ impatience. If children concentrate on doing activities when they are relaxed, they can absorb a greater amount. At first, it is all right to do the activities that are possible for your amount of time and budget. If you do activities for 15 minutes a day, it is enough.

It is important to create an environment in which children can discover their interests and develop them. For example, if you think your child enjoys sports, you should create an environment in which your child can be physically active. If you think your child enjoys music, you should include music in your child’s daily environment. It is also good to arrange activities so that your child wants to do them. In this way, you can create a great environment for your child to grow up in. Even if you have just a short time, use your time effectively and streamline your housework.

I have hesitations when raising my child.

【Q】 I have a 3 year-old boy. When I told someone that I showed him flash cards and have him do worksheet, the person said to me, “Now it is OK, but later the stress will accumulate in him. He will say that he doesn’t want to study.” This person’s words make me hesitant in the way I am bringing up my child.

 

【A】 Children wonder about the things around them, asking “Why?” They are curious and enjoy studying. If parents force children to do activities, the activities will have negative effects on them. This is the type of reaction the person is referring to. However, if the child is willing to do activities, the activities seem like a type of enjoyable play done with his/her parents, and his/her abilities will develop naturally. The first thing you need to do is to look at your son and communicate in a relaxed way with him, checking to see that you are not forcing him to do the activities. If he makes a habit of these activities and enjoys them without your coercion, you do not have to worry. In today’s society, which overflows with information, it is important to bring up your son with your beliefs and personal vision. If you enjoy doing activities together with him, results are sure to appear.

I do not know how to teach my child the concept of “respect” because I don’t respect my own parents.

【Q】 In regards to “how parents teach their children respect”, I am not able to respect my parents. I do not live with them, but my ideas about how to bring up my child often do not match with my parents’ ideas (for example, my parents give my daughter too many snacks). The more I learn about Shichida Method, the more discontented I feel with my parents, thinking, “I was never brought up like that.”

 

【A】 By viewing someone as human, we can naturally come to respect that person because everyone should be respected. Other people should be respected in the same way that we respect our parents and children. However, we can deal with others in this manner but we tend to go easy on those who are close to us.

It is understandable that you are discontented with your parents. Now is the time you should review your relationship with your parents. Think about how your parents spent their lives, and how they felt while they brought you up. The things they sacrificed for you should be uncountable. Be thankful that they raised you despite many difficulties. If your gratitude develops, everything will be all right.

In addition, there are many ways to think about education. Even if their methods of raising children are different, their feelings toward child rearing are probably the same as your own.

My parents (my child’s grandparents) do not accept early childhood education

【Q】 My daughter is 1 year 9 months. Currently, I practice many languages in daily life with my daughter. She has started speaking 2 word sentences not only in Japanese, but also in English and Spanish. However, my parents do not understand my foreign language activities, and when my daughter uses languages other than Japanese they say, “That’s wrong,” and correct her English or Spanish. Is there a good way to interact with them?

【A】 When children change, the people around them also change. The difficulties you are experiencing when your family members do not understand early childhood education are understandable. These difficulties are unavoidable but if you continue the early childhood education that you believe in and some results appear, your family members’ view may change. In order to help them understand early childhood education, it may be more effective to have them read books about infant education. Or you could take them to some lectures and help them learn about bilingual education. Then, when your father or mother tries to correct your daughter’s words, you can say to them, “In English we say this, and in Japanese it is said like that.” Children who are brought up multilingual will first use the words that are easiest for them. For a child, it is easier to say “car”, “boy”, and “girl” in English than “jidousha“, “otokonoko”, or “onnanoko”, the equivalent words in Japanese. That is why children often start using English before Japanese. Even though she has started speaking 2 word sentences in Japanese it like she were speaking a foreign language. She will use the language that is easiest, in this case a foreign language. Her Japanese ability will not go down just because you have input other languages. Infants have an amazing ability to master all languages perfectly. You don’t need to worry about language.

What should I do to obtain my husband’s cooperation?

【Q】 My husband’s ideas about how to bring up children and overall daily life are very different from my own. I try to use various Shichida techniques in my child’s daily life but before doing things for our child my husband places priority on what he wants to do. I feel stressed because I cannot do everything I am expected to do for my child such as giving him snacks, disciplining him at meals and teaching him about the value of money. What should I do?

 

【A】 It is natural that your ideas and your husband’s differ because each of you grew up in different environments. But now you live together as a family. When you insist on just your ideas, it may be difficult for your husband to accept them. Before you ask your husband to understand you, you should treasure and try to understand him. It is important that you first try to understand your husband. If you change, your child will also change. Similarly, if you change, your husband will also change. You should never place responsibility to change solely on him. You should also try to change yourself. You should not try to change your husband. Change yourself first, admit your husband’s good points, and praise him, without looking at his bad points If you do not view your husband negatively, and instead view him positively, amazingly, he will naturally change.

Then, in order to help your husband understand that you are doing your best to bring up your child, it is most effective to show him the wonderful growth in your child. As you wait for your husband to discover this, if your child often helps with housework and comes to him and says with gratitude, “Thank you for your hard work,” he will approve of how you are bringing up the children, which will lead to his understanding.

I am worried about socializing with people who have different child-rearing philosophies.

【Q】 When a person who has different child-rearing philosophies (i.e. other parents) comes in contact with my child, how should I communicate with that person? (For example, a person speaks violently, wants her child to be a bully rather than be bullied, or pampers his/her child in an extremely different way from me.) Until my child is in elementary school and able to solve his problems by himself, I want to choose the people (other parents) we associate with.

 

【A】 Some people have positive waves and others have negative waves. If possible, it is better to associate with positive people. Also, there are various ways of thinking. If you try to change someone’s thoughts or unite them with yours, it will create trouble. Getting along with people in daily life is the same as raising children. You do not have to receive negative effects by associating with negative people. If possible, it is better for parents to choose who their children interact with.

A positive method of solving problems within the Shichida Method is changing problems through the power of images. Imagine that you are in harmony with the person or that you are friendly with him/her. If you do this, but the relationship does not improve, you should only interact with the person as necessary.

Advice on bringing up a motherless (or fatherless) child

【Q】 I have 2 sons: one is 4 years old, and the other is 1 year old. I have just divorced my husband. Even when both parents are present at home, the number of children who cannot properly develop their minds has increased. I have to bring up my sons, and their minds, alone… Please give me some advice. How should I communicate with them?

 

【A】 It is important for children to have parents. However, if the parents quarrel everyday, have no conversation, or in a bad mood, it has a bad effect on the children. You have to fill the role of their father, which will be very difficult. However, be careful not to scold your child more than is needed or be too strict with them just because you have the strong belief that “I have to bring up them correctly”. Mothers are not the only people raise children. For example, when you leave them at nursery school, leave them in the care of the teachers there. Ask the people around you for help and use their assistance.

Children have surprising strength. If you endeavor to convey your love to them, and fill their hearts, they will grow up naturally. When you go home, please speak to them kindly and give them tight hugs. Then, listen to their news or talk with them about various things in order to satisfy them. Endeavor to make new fun memories together and enjoy spending time with them.

My oldest son often has nightmares. Suggestions do not seem effective for him…

【Q】 My son is 4 years old. He wakes up almost every night saying, as he cries, “I had a nightmare.” He says, “I don’t want to go to bed because I hate to have nightmares.” Before he falls asleep, I give suggestions to him, “Tonight, you will have happy dreams.” However, this does not seem to be effective for him. What should I do?

 

【A】 Dreams are thought to be the work of ordering and remembering what occurred during the day. If we feel anxious during the day, it is easier for this anxiety to appear in our dreams at night. Even if nothing bad happened to your child, he experiences many things everyday for the first time. Children may feel more or less anxious about these new experiences. Before he falls asleep, give him not only suggestions, but also a tight hug in order to relieve him. It is also good to tell him to face his nightmares without running away from them. Say to him, “In your dream, you are ○○(hero’s name). You can beat any bad guy.”

My child cannot adapt to his nursery school. As a result, my child is violent at home.

【Q】 My child is 4 years old. It is the 2nd year since he began going to nursery school, but it seems to be difficult for him to adapt to the school. He is quiet, and only has a few friends. Maybe, as the reaction to it, he says bad words and is violent toward me. His reaction is too terrible. What should I do?

 

【A】Imagine that he is in harmony with the other children or that he is liked by them. Then, say to him, “Everyone likes ○○(his name). △△(the other child’s name) likes you, too. So does □□(the other child’s name).” Have him imagine that he is liked by the other children, that he is in harmony with them, and can show them his leadership abilities. Images will come true. If he imagines these things, his waves will change and he will not be bullied. You and your child should both imagine. If it is difficult to for your son to image, do five-minute suggestions. Do them soon after he falls asleep, touching his body kindly. For example, say “○○(his name), you’re asleep now, but you can hear what I am saying. Your mom loves you so much. My heart always stays with you. Dad and Mom, we both love you very much. You enjoy your time at nursery school, and your friends love you. ○○, you love your teacher and your friends.” Create harmony in his dreams. This is one solution for solving problems through images.

When my daughter goes to the kindergarten, she cries.

【Q】 My 3-year-old daughter never says that she doesn’t want to go somewhere. However, when she goes to her kindergarten, she cries and has to be hugged by her teacher. What can I do for my daughter who easily cries?

 

【A】 When children are little, they need their mothers to stay near them. If children play with their mothers enough, are loved completely, and have good relationships with their mothers, they will be able to smoothly enter daily group life. However, if mothers try to leave their children too early, the children will feel anxious and stick to their mothers.

The skin can be called “the place for the heart.” It is possible to remove children’s anxiety and calm them down by conveying love through the skin. When parents worry, these feelings are conveyed to their children. Begin by conveying your love to her by giving her a tight hug at home. Image together that the kindergarten is a fun place for her, and that she enjoys playing with the other children. If children are satisfied by their mothers’ love, their feelings will turn outward. The foundation is receiving an ample amount of a mother’s love.

My daughter cannot join groups of other children.

【Q】 My 4-year-old daughter goes to nursery school. She is timid, and cannot join groups of other children well. She says “Let me join in your group,” but she doesn’t join the group because the other children say “no” without meaning any harm. One day, she came home disappointed because a child in a group said to her, “I don’t like you because you are big.” I said to her, “Did you tell your teacher about it?” She replied, “I won’t talk about it because I love my friends so much. I will be sad if they are scolded.” I try to do Suggestions because I want to treasure kindness. However, it does not seem to work.

 

【A】 Your daughter is very kind. You should listen to her carefully, and sympathize with her. If she finds that you understand her and you always care about her, she will be relieved, and her anxiety and sorrow will be healed.

On the other hand, give her confidence. You should begin by accepting her as she is, conveying your love and recognizing and praising her good points. Children gain confidence, self-motivation, and grow up strongly when they are accepted and praised by their parents. The most important thing for children’s development is growing up receiving an abundance of parental love. It is also good to let her help you and praise her when she finishes tasks.

Also, try Five-Minute Suggestions. Say to her, “○○ (her name), you love your friends so much. Your friends love you so much, too. You can play with them nicely. Now, in your dream, they say ‘○○, play with us.’ Play with them nicely.” Keep doing the suggestions, without giving up, until some results appear. Image your daughter’s good points.

I worry about the negative effect older children may be having on my child.

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years 7 months old. She loves an elementary school aged girl who lives near us. It is nice that the girl always wants to play with my daughter, but the girl’s language often seems bad for my daughter. Also, some of the things they play in the park seem dangerous for a 2 year old. I do not want the girl to play with my daughter because she always imitates the girl. However, she follows her everyday when she sees her, maybe because she feels it is more interesting than when she plays with children of the same age.

 

【A】 I know you are worried that your daughter will remember and use bad words or do something dangerous by imitating the girl. In order for your daughter to play safely with the girl, ask her one thing. Say to the girl, “Thank you for playing with my daughter all the time. ○○(your daughter’s name) loves you so much. She has many things she can’t do yet though because she is little. So, if she does something dangerous, please say to her, ‘Don’t do that because it is dangerous.’” Also, regarding the girl’s language- when the girl uses bad words, you should teach her other words, saying to her, “When you want to say something like that, it is better to say…”

Guide your daughter to use good words by saying to her, “If you use bad words, your heart will become dirty.” Also, it is important for you to strive to use positive words in your daily life.

How should I communicate with my child’s friends?

【Q】 My daughter has Down’s syndrome, but she is popular with her classmates. Many of her friends come to my home. I am happy with that, and I give them snacks. However, when her 10 of her friends come at once, I sometimes don’t know what to do. I would like to know how to relate with her friends.

 

【A】 You must be very glad that your daughter is popular with her friends. But when many children come to your home, it is hard for you to entertain them. However, you do not have to adapt to them. It is a good idea to decide on some rules for your home, and then they can enjoy playing while they follow the rules. Probably, they will not always follow the rules so allow them to bend the rules as much as you feel comfortable with. When they do something bad, tell them kindly how they should act instead.

You do not always have to give them a snack. It is ok to decide to give them a snack depending on the situation. For example, “Today, there are only a few children so I’ll give them a snack,” or “Today, we have a lot of guests but I received a gift so I’ll share it with them.”

How should I help children learn to lend and borrow items well?

【Q】 There is a 3-year-old girl in my class who has difficulty saying to her friends, “Let me borrow it” or “Here you are.” What should I do so that she is able to share things like toys with the other children?

 

【A】 Have her do lending-borrowing games with her mother at home. When she plays with her toys, her mother should begin by saying to her, “Let me borrow it,” take it from her, and then give it back to her, saying, “Thank you”. If she imitates her mother, and can share something, her mother should praise her. If her mother repeats this, and the daughter learns to borrow or lend something smoothly, she will then be able to play nicely with her friends and share toys.

Also, when the girl plays with her friends, her mother should play with her at first. Her mother should tell her how to communicate with her friends by showing an example such as, “Let’s take turns using this,” “Let’s borrow the toy like this,” or “It is better to say this when you borrow something.”

How should I help my child learn to lend and borrow items from his friends?

【Q】 I have a 3 year-old son. He shares his snack or toys with us [his parents], but he can never lend or share with his friends. What should I do?

 

【A】 In this case, you should solve the problem by doing Five-Minute Suggestions. As you caress his body gently, give him suggestions like “○○(his name), you love your friends. You are so kind that you lend your toys to them. They say that they love you so much because you are kind.” The problem will disappear.

When he shares his snack or toys with you, convey the joy of sharing by saying to him, “When we share things, they are more delicious, aren’t they?” “When we play together, it is more fun, isn’t it?” In this way, his good points will develop further, and lead to other positive effects. After giving your son positive suggestions, focus on what he is able to do, and work with him to gradually increase what he is capable of.

My child does not share items with others.

【Q】 My oldest son is 3 years old. He cannot share with his younger brother or friends. He holds on to the item and runs away from the person who wants to borrow it. He does not take items from his friends, but he does take things by force from his younger brother and never gives them back. What should I tell him?

 

【A】 There is a period when children have a strong desire to monopolize and show their belongings. Your situation is a part of the process of your son’s growth. Communicate with him as calmly as you can.

In order to teach him how to share, it is good to play lending-borrowing games at home. You should begin by distinguishing between his and others’ belongings and have him borrow something from someone, saying, “Thank you.” Guide him so that he shares his snack and lends his belongings to you. Then, in your daily life, if you (his parent) communicate consciously using phrases like, “here you are” and “thank you,” he will learn to share naturally. Even if he is able to share in some small way, don’t forget to dramatically praise him.

My son pouts quickly. How can I help him experience success and motivate him?

【Q】 My son is 6 years old. If he cannot do something, or his teacher says to him, “Once more,” he will pout. I do not know what to do in order to motivate him to try things he has difficulty with. I am often told, “He is like that because he has few experiences of success.” I want to know specific ways to help him experience success.

 

【A】 An experience of success is one in which a child thinks he is able to do something. Focus on what activities he is able to do or how he helps you and praise those things. He will try to do more next time after being praised and accepted. However, in order to motivate him, a relationship of mutual trust is necessary. Your son will try to do more because the person he loves so much praises him. Convey your love to him by giving him a tight hug and doing Five-Minute Suggestions.

It is also good to have your son experience success in what he is good at by using images. For example, if he is good at jumping rope, have him imagine that he is happy because he was able to top his record for number of time jumped in a row. Have him imagine something positive for example, that he changes into his favorite hero and improves in something he is poor at. After having him imagine, have him do mediation, controlled breathing, and positive suggestions like “Now, you can imagine with fun. You can see the images.” If you have him imagine his success, he will actually be able to do those things with confidence.

When my son cannot see me, he cries.

【Q】 My eldest son is 1 year 4 months old. He always stays with me. Outside or in our home, if I leave him, he cries. If I just go to rest room or upstairs, he cries. How should I guide him in the future?

 

【A】 When your son cannot see you, it seems like he feels anxious. He is at an age when you should always stay with him. If you are too sensitive or force him to leave you, he will desperately stick to you. If he stays with you, he will be relieved and play. Please believe in your son’s growth. When he needs you, you should receive him warmly, and when he leaves you, you should watch him go with relief. In this way, he will be able to leave you naturally.

As children develop, the most important thing is to have physical contact. When he needs you, please satisfy him by receiving him tightly. See him as perfect, just as the way he is, and watch his growth happily.

My child always asks me to hold her.

【Q】 My child is 2 years 6 months old. She runs and plays in our house or at the park with her favorite slide. However, she hates to go for a walk or walk outside, and she immediately asks me to hold her or give her a piggyback. Is it ok to appease her?

 

【A】 When she does not want to walk, you do not have to force her to do that. When she asks to be held, if you can, please do it. After she is satisfied, she will begin walking by herself, step by step. Remember that this situation will not last, and satisfy her needs by giving her a tight hug. When she does not want to walk by herself, if you leave her, saying “Walk by yourself,” the situation will only get worse, and she will ask you to hold her forever.

Sometimes, lead her to walk by herself by saying, “Look, there is ○○. Let’s go over there.” Give her a goal that is 2 or 3 meters away from her, and praise her if she can walk this distance. It is good to focus her attention on flowers or stones on the road and let her collect the stones and flowers.

My daughter is suddenly cold to me and hates to be hugged…

【Q】 My daughter is 5 years old. I used to leave her at nursery school, and hug her when I left the school. However, when I hug her now, she gets angry, saying to me, “Why are you doing that?” She does not seem embarrassed, but rather cold. What should I do?

 

【A】 There is probably some cause for her anger these days, for example, her friends said something bad to her, etc. Ask her sometime in the evening when she is relaxed, “When I leave you at school, do you hate to be hugged?” If she has some reason for hating to be hugged at school, hug her at home first.

If you do not know the cause, and she hates the hug itself, she may be feeling unsatisfied with you. In order to open her mind, please convey your love and give her a tight hug as saying, “I love you so much. Thank you for being born to us.” The relationship between you and your daughter will return to normal when she can feel your heart. She will be willing to be hugged again.

My son knows sucking his thumb is bad but he cannot stop.

【Q】 My son is 6 years old, but he cannot stop sucking his thumb. He knows it is bad. He never does it outside our home, but he always does it at home. How should I help him stop?

 

【A】 When children get older, the things their mothers do decreases because what the children can do by themselves increases. This is why sometimes a child may feel unsatisfied and suck his thumb. Try to have as much physical contact as possible while you speak to your son. For example, hug him, pat his head, or touch his shoulder.

He understands that sucking his thumb is bad. Imitate him and suck your thumb. Then, he will stop doing it immediately because he will understand that the behavior is not appropriate. In addition, if your child knows that his teeth will grow crooked because he is sucking his thumb, he may stop doing that. Additionally, give him good suggestions in Five-Minute Suggestions. After conveying your love to him, give him good suggestions in the future tense like, “○○(his name) has stopped sucking thumb.”

When things do not go my son’s way, he cries.

【Q】 My son is 4 years old. When things do not go his way like when we are making something, he immediately cries. I always end up saying to him, “You are always crying about so we aren’t going to do it!” However, in this case, should I just leave him to cry? I usually try to stop his crying…

 

【A】 Probably, the reason why he cries is that he regrets what he is unable to do. Sympathize with his feelings. If you encourage him to cry, it will satisfy him more than you expect. If you leave him, he will feel unsatisfied and more anxious. Remember that when he cries he has a desire to cultivate himself. Accept his feelings and motivate him to do his best.

Encourage him by saying something like, “If you practice doing it, you will able to do it. Do your best during your practice. I practiced hard, so I am able do it now.”

If he gets good with his hands and he can do something as he expects, he will stop crying. Do not be too serious, and communicate kindly with him.

My child won’t stop acting like a baby.

【Q】 My first daughter is 3 years 7 months old. 1 year and 2 months have passed since my second daughter was born, but my first daughter acts like she did when she was a baby. She wants to drink milk from a nursing bottle and uses baby words. Sometimes, she nestles up to me too much, and cannot understand what we say because she is fussing too noisily. On weekdays, she sticks close to me. I hold and piggyback my two daughters: one is 20kg and the other is 8kg. Then, on weekends, she sticks close to her father. Isn’t our physical contact enough? Should we just accept her as she is for a while? I am worried.

 

【A】 Individuals differ in their tendencies to revert to infant behaviors but all children demonstrate it. At the time, satisfy her by giving her an 8 second tight hug. You have to put priority on your second daughter because she is still little. At these times, say something to your first daughter like “Please let me ○○ because your sister is crying.” Even if what you say is simple, it is OK. Then, as you take care of your second daughter, say, “When you were a baby, I also took care of you.” When she waits patiently for you, praise her ability to wait. If you satisfy her by placing priority on her, her infant-like behaviors will be disappear.

Also, 3 years old is the age of independence. But it does not mean that children can leave their parents perfectly. It is the age when children come to have their own ideas and are able to gradually separate from their parents, focusing their attention on the outer world. It may seem rebellious to you that she tries to have her own way. She will often nestle up to you as a step to prepare for leaving you. At these times, if you accept her situation as a part of the process of her growth, she will be relieved, take steps toward independence, and grow up. Unless her requests puzzle someone, or are selfish, try to accept them. In this way, her situation will change. A trusting relationship between you and your daughter will be created and she will be able to obey what you say. If you change your view or how you communicate with her, her situation will change. Satisfy her by giving her a tight hug. When she wants to nestle up to you, accept her request, and make the relationship between you and your daughter stronger.

I’m tired of my rebellious son.

【Q】 My son is 5 years old. He is so sensitive. If I scold him a little, he cries and screams. If I warn him slightly, he repeats the words, “I hate you!” Also, he often punches my husband, his younger sister, and me. Everyday I’m tired of my rebellious son. My scolding is not effective but it is also not good to spoil him too much. What should I do?

 

【A】 This situation shows you that your son needs your love. Convey your love by giving him an 8 second tight hug.

Make a time for just you and him, and convey how much you love him. Make your hugging situation easier by asking him something simple when he is in a good mood. As you give him a tight hug or caress his head and body, say to him, “Thank you for helping me. ○○(his name), I love you so much.” The skin is called “the place for the heart and love”. If you have enough physical contact with your son, your love will surely be conveyed to him, and his attitude will change.

My child cannot speak well in front of us (her parents).

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years 9 months old. Sometimes, she does not speak clearly in front of me. However, I was told that she spoke clearly when I left her at a friend’s home for a while. When I scold her, I do not know what she is saying sometimes. Even if I speak to her kindly, she mumbles. She talks in a way that she is the only person who understands. How should I communicate with her?

【A】 Probably, you are spoiling her. You do not have to think about her negatively because she can speak clearly when she is away from home. Children have the desire to grow up. Now, accept her with your smile, and satisfy her. Look into her eyes and listen to her seriously.

Also, in your daily life, read many picture books to her. By reading picture books to her, you not only have time to communicate with her, but also she can learn correct pronunciation or vocabulary. Believe in her growth, and communicate patiently with her.

Most likely she understands when she does something bad because her understanding has developed gradually. After you warn her that what she did is bad, even if she says something, just leave her. Give her a tight hug and praise her when she corrects her attitude.

I worry about my child’s stuttering.

【Q】 My daughter is 3 years 9 months old. She suddenly started to stutter when she was 3 years 6 months old. She will not say the first letter of words. If I say, “Relax and speak slowly,” she will can speak smoothly. I thought her stuttering would gradually be cured; but it is getting much worse recently. I am worried about it. At first, I didn’t not worry about it because Dr. Makoto Shichida’s book says, “Children of this age may suddenly stutter sometimes.” However, I have started to worry about it because her stuttering has gotten so bad. She is ambidextrous. She holds chopsticks and pencils with her left hand but uses scissors and throws a ball with her right hand. Is this related to her stuttering?

 

【A】 You are worried about her stammering, but children often stutter suddenly when their brain changes over from the right brain to the left. They can understand various things and want to convey their ideas to someone. However, they do not know how to speak because they still cannot switch between brains well. This is why she stutters. If we worry about children too much, their situation sometimes gets worse. The best way is to communicate naturally with them without worrying. Circuits of words will be firmly created.

On the other hand, try to help your child relax by hugging her, saying many words of praise or conveying your love to her. As you do that, she will not stutter. It is not good for you to communicate with her when you are anxious about her. Communicate with her as you imagine that she is speaking smoothly. It is also good to give her good suggestions using Five-Minute Suggestions such as, “You can speak smoothly and easily. You can relax and speak.” It is great that she is not only a right-hander, but also a left-hander. You do not have to worry about her because she seems to choose hands depending on the situation. Please let her use both hands.

What should I do when my daughter has a tantrum and cries?

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years 3 months old. When she is in a good mood, she shows us wonderful responses. I am often surprised at them. However, she seems to have a strong ego. Once she begins a tantrum, she throws the things around her, lies down and finally cries. Even if I apologize to her, she never listens to me. What should I do for her in these situations?

 

【A】 At these times, try leaving her for a while, and praise her when she stops crying. If you try to make her be in a good mood or apologize to her, it will have a bad effect on her. She will learn that when she cries you will try to improve her mood or apologize to her. She will not able to develop her self-control skills and will be selfish. When she cries or throws something, let her be but watch to be sure she is not in danger.

Then, when she calms down, please praise her by giving her a tight hug, “You stopped crying. Great!” She will learn that you will not communicate with her when she cries or behaves violently. She will also learn about enduring difficult situations by discovering that you accept, praise, and hug her when she endures. When she calms down, it is a chance for discipline. Children will improve through hugs and praise.

What is the distinction between things we should praise and things we should scold?

【Q】 My son began walking when he was 8 months old. He learned to walk around at 10 months wearing his shoes. I thought this was because he was a boy. However, he will not sit in a car seat if he is fastened in. Also, he climbs on the back of the sofa and tries to pull out all books around him at the library. I say to him, “Don’t do that.” However I do not know when I should scold or praise him.

 

【A】 Since your son has started walking freely, he is very curious. This is the period when he wants to do or touch everything. In other words, it is the time for experimenting and learning. Most children his age will do something without seeing if it is good or bad because they cannot distinguish between the two. If you forbid his doing something by saying, “Don’t do that,” he will lose his independence and curiosity. If he does something slightly disobedient, try to ignore it. However, when he does something dangerous or troubles someone, scold him seriously. In these cases, show your concern and tell him repeatedly about what he must not do as well as considering what he likes. For example, “A child car seat is necessary to keep you from getting injured,” or “If I watch you to make sure you won’t fall off, it is ok to climb on the back of the sofa a bit.”

Then, make the standard for your discipline such as, “I will forgive him up to this point, but I will not forgive him if he goes past that point.” If you try to communicate your standards with him, gradually he will be able to understand the difference between good and bad behavior without becoming confused.

My daughter is good at home, but she is rebellious away from our home.

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years 4 months old. She is a good girl at home, but when she is away from the house, she throws the things around her and does not listen to what I say. I am troubled by this behavior. I can have her do activities without difficulty and some results have appeared. Even when I warn her, she looks in another direction. Although she knows it is bad, she seems to want to upset me.

 

【A】 Outside of the home, there are many things that your daughter is interested in. She is in a period of experimenting and learning. Now, she wants to do everything. However, it is time to seriously tell her seriously what she cannot do because it is bad or dangerous. Also, you should communicate with her using a consistent attitude at home. Please be careful not to communicate with her irregularly.

Also, she tries to upset you because she wants you look at her. In order to change a child’s attitude, it is important to check the parents’ way of communicating with them. Do your best to create a relationship between you and your daughter that contains enough physical contact and the sharing of love. Treasure your conversations with her, and seriously listen to her ideas and feelings. Children greatly trust people who accept and look at them in a positive manner. If she opens her mind andyou’re your relationship is strengthened, the troubles you have will disappear. Skin stimulus is a basic way to convey our love. Communicate your love by hugging and having physical contact with your daughter.

I worry about how to communicate with my often bad-tempered child.

【Q】 After my daughter entered elementary school, she is often in a bad mood. I think she is in a rebellious stage. However, as parents, we seriously worry about what we should do for her.

 

【A】 Probably, she feels stressed in her new environment. Let her be relaxed. The foundation should be seriously conveying your love to your daughter. In the morning, take time to have physical contact with her like hugging her and saying to her, “Good morning”, and petting her head. Also, say some positive words to her. Focus on her good points, accepting and praising her, “Your smile is great,” “You greet very well.”

She will calm down when she feel confident. Give her responsibility by asking for her help with tasks that she can do. For example, ask her to water flowers, clean up the entryway, or clean the bath. Say to her, “○○(her name), I left it to you, please do it.” Then when she does it, please praise her.

When my son cannot do something the way he hopes, he gets mad. When I warn him, he throws something at me.

【Q】 My son will be 1 year 10 months old soon. When something does not go his way, for example, his toys (cars or trains) do not work as he expects, he gets mad and throws his toys. When I say to him, “Don’t do that.” he throws it at me because I scolded him. Although I am angry with him, I am only trying to warn him rather than shout at him. However, his attitude does not improve. Finally, I end up scolding him sometimes. In these cases, what should I do?

 

【A】 It seems that his ego is developing and that he wants to do or express his feelings. But he still cannot carry out actions that way he would. When things do not go his way, he often cries, throws something, bites, or hits. This is a step of his growth and a sign that he is growing smoothly. This is common behavior. When your son grows up a little more, he will be able to do something or convey his feelings as he hopes and his attitude will naturally improve.

When he gets mad because he cannot do something the way he expects, talk to him to show that you understand his feelings, “You could not ○○,” “You wanted to ○○.” Then, guide him so that he can use his toys well, saying to him, “Let’s play with it like this.” “Let’s do it like this.” You should repeatedly tell him not to throw things. It is also good to guide him to another type of play by changing his toy to a soft ball and saying to him, “You can throw this many times.” If he is still angry even after you do these things, you should leave him for a while. When you teach your son what is bad, it is necessary to be strict with him and never change your strict attitude. Develop his understanding of good behavior by giving him a tight hug and praising the fact that he calmed down and stopped crying.

My rebellious child troubles me.

【Q】 My first daughter is 4 years old. She often contradicts what I say. Additionally, her words are negative. For example, “You finished drawing.” → “I didn’t finish.” Or in a song, “Daddy, come back home quickly.” → “Don’t come back home quickly.”. When I praise her younger sister, my oldest daughter says to her, “You are bad at this.” Does she say these words because she is rebellious?”

 

【A】 Children at this age display contrary behaviors and show us their rebellious attitude. If parents see and accept what their child says seriously, he/she will not get over this stage, and the relationship between the child and his/her parents will worsen. It is also good to make use of her contrariness, and say the opposite words from what you think. If she shows you this type of attitude because she is not getting enough of your love, please convey your love seriously by doing “a tight hug for 8 seconds” or “5 Minute Suggestions”. Using these methods, her troubled attitude will be disappear.

My child throws temper tantrums.

【Q】 My son is 1 year old. He throws things at others and bites people with his full strength. What should I do?

 

【A】 Children at his age often throw tantrums and throw objects or bite when things do not go their way. It is a sign that your son’s ego is developing. When a child’s ego develops, he/she tries to convey what he/she wants to do. However, they cannot express their feelings well because their speaking skills are not fully developed yet. They try to express their feelings by throwing objects and biting. Also, your son does not understand the distinction between good and bad. When he throws something at someone, tell him patiently that what he did is bad. He is not at the age when he can understand what is said to him, but look into his eyes and talk to him pretending that you are sincerely sad. This will make it easier for him to understand.

Also, when your son behaves violently, it is necessary to check to see if you are forcing him to do something, disciplining him too strictly, or placing stress on him.

My daughter seems to be irritated with herself.

【Q】 My daughter will be 2 years old soon. When she can do something well, I hug and praise her. On the other hand, when she cannot do something, she cannot control herself. For example, when she has trouble eating, she turns over plates and cups, and throws her chopsticks. Obviously, at these times she is irritated with herself. Does she do these things because I praised her too much? In this case, how should I scold her?

 

【A】 Don’t view your daughter’s present condition as her completed personality but rather look at who she will become over a long period of time.

It is usual for 2-year-old children not to be able to do things well. They also throw temper tantrums immediately because they have not developed dexterous fingertips yet. After half a year passes, amazingly she will not throw tantrums as easily because she will become more agile. It is good not to scold her now, to sympathize with her frustrations, and to encourage her by saying, “It’s alright. You will be able to do that soon.” If she continues her tantrum for a long time, you should take her outside in order to change her mood.

My child does not listen to what we (his parents) say.

【Q】 Until recently I have been able to have my son do activities smoothly. However, one day, he suddenly started to say “I don’t know,” even about the things I think he does know He doesn’t even try to listen to me. What should I do?

 

【A】 As children develop their ego, they want to do things as they wish, or they do not listen. As a step of their growth, all children display this attitude. Don’t be too sensitive, and patiently observe your son’s growth. When he wants to say the contrary words against everything, try to first say the words opposite to what you are thinking. Or don’t seriously accept what he says, and say to him, “Really? You don’t know. OK. Then I will do it instead.” If you get through this period easily, he will go back to being an obedient, good child. Please understand that rather than trying to have your child obey your instructions it is good to sympathize with your son’s feelings.

Also, if you do Five-Minute Suggestions, he will smoothly revert to being an obedient child.

I know it is bad to give in to my daughter when she wants her own way, but I do.

【A】 I tend to obey my daughter. She (3 years 5 months) wants to do everything by herself. That is OK, but when things do not go on her way, she immediately cries. She tries to get me to do what she wants by crying, being fretful and attracting my attention. I frequently give in to my daughter and follow what she wants.

 

【Q】 Probably, she does not yet understand what it means “to endure”. Gradually, teach her about the concept of “enduring” something.

When she cries, or is fretful, ignore her and leave her alone for a while. If she stops crying after a short time, hug her immediately and praise her ability to stop crying. In this way, she will learn to understand what it means to “endure”.

When she is in a negative mood, you should quietly watch her. When she alters her mood to a positive one, you should praise her a lot. If this becomes a habit to her, she will be able to control herself. Your resolution and firmness are necessary so that your daughter can learn to control herself. Be careful not that she does not learn a habit that you will give in to her desires when she throws a tantrum.

My daughter forces adults to say what she wants them to say.

【Q】 My daughter will be 3 years old soon. Recently, she will ask us or other adults to say something like, “Say ○○ to me.” After she says, “Mommy, take it!”, she will say, “Say, ‘No.’,” or “Say, ‘Well,’” Sometimes, she will say, “Say, ‘I want to eat.’.” It is close to forcing others to minutely follow something. At first, I said what she asked me to say, but now I am hesitant if I should say anything because she asks incessantly. How should I communicate with her?

 

【A】 She is in a period where she is growing up, beginning to have her own ideas, and taking action according to these ideas. She seems selfish because she is trying to actualize her desires. However, try to view the spreading of her ego in a positive way. She plays by thinking of something by herself, and ordering you to do it. Try to play this game with her as much as possible.

In order to develop children’s ability to think, know what they want to do and bring out their interests. It is probably difficult to play this game with her because she often wants to. However, unless a game makes your daughter’s mind bad, try to play it with her as much as possible. Develop her basic abilities as you enjoy playing with her. In this way, you can lead her to other games and change the situation. If you deal with her patiently, and satisfy her needs, she will move to the next step, and will make up new games to play.

I want to teach my son what he shouldn’t do but I don’t know how.

【Q】 My son is 1 year 11 months old. He has strong curiosity. I often say, “No” to him because I care about him. Although he learns various things, I have to pay attention to dangerous things such as fire. How should I scold him? I often say to him, “Please, don’t do that.” When I say this, he gets angry. What should I say to him?

 

【A】 Children under 2 and a half years old cannot distinguish between what they can do and what they must not do. At this age, they cannot understand why things are dangerous. Change the way you scold your child depending on his/her age. At his age, when he does something dangerous, draw his attention to something that is safe, saying to him, “Look, here is a toy.” If you try to stop him with words like “No” or “Don’t do that”, he will only feel that you took away what he wanted to do. He will resist you by crying or getting angry.

In order to teach him that something is bad or dangerous, one of ways he can understand is by learning with his body. For example, if you want him to understand that something is hot and dangerous, he can understand by touching something that is a little hot. This discipline tells a child’s senses that something is bad, and it has been done for many years. Also, to keep him from doing something dangerous, it is important to take care of his environment, for example, not putting something dangerous within his reach.

I am worried because my daughter seems like she is listening to others but she really isn’t.

【Q】 My daughter seems to listen to others, but actually does not. I am worried about this. She goes to a music school, but she plays with her hands, and does not listen to others. She often enters her own world, and she tries to do what she wants to do, even when she is playing with her friends. Now, she has many friends, but I am afraid that they will come to hate her

 

【A】 Children do not seem to listen to others, but they do. They do not seem to listen because their parents think they are not listening. Stop thinking your daughter is not listening and ask her about the contents of a story if you think she is listening to it. Probably, she will be able to answer more than you expect. At that time, praise her to show your pleasure, saying to her, “You can listen to someone as you play. ○○(her name), you are great. You are a genius!” If children are praised, they will react to the praise and try to listen to their parents seriously. If you notice that she listened to someone, tell other members of your family, and have them praise her, and she will grow up to be a better child. Also, entering her own world is a sign that she can concentrate and utilize her right brain. It is good to change your view and praise her. Praise and accept her favorite things without denying them. Then, say to her something like, “That looks fun. Let’s tell your friends about your favorite things and games.” Also, praise the fact that she has many friends, “○○, you are good at making friends. Words that praise children are the best way to change them.

When children say bad words, should we caution against it?

【Q】 Sometimes, I overhear children saying surprisingly things during conversations. When it gets too bad, I interrupt saying, “These words are bad, aren’t they?” However, sometimes, I hesitate to do that because I wonder if it is better just to observe them. For example, one child will say to another, “○○(the boy’s name), I hate you, so I am going to promise not to play with you.” My daughter (1st grade) just listens to them and sighs. Should I not interrupt the other children’s conversations?

 

【A】 When children do something wrong, parents or adults around them should tell them that it is wrong or correct them. This is our duty. In this case, advise them so that they understand that they have spoken badly about someone. For example, say to them, “If your friends say to you, ‘I hate you.’ will you be sad?” If adults hear a child speak poorly about someone, and warn the child, not only the child, but also the other children nearby can learn that speaking evil of someone is bad. However, if you pass by children who are speaking badly about someone but you do not know them, you should not warn them because you are not familiar to them. They will not accept your advice calmly because you are a stranger to them. When warning children, it is also necessary to consider the timing and occasion.

My son says bad words to his grandfather.

【Q】 My son is 4 years 3 months old. He never listens to me until I get angry. I think that discipline is needed for him, and I get strict with him sometimes. However, his grandfather, who lives with us, is too indulgent with my son. When he is scolded, he runs to his grandfather’s room. Recently, what is even worse is that he says bad words to his grandfather who obeys anything he asks.

 

【A】 In your daily life, try to place priority on your son’s grandfather.

Show your son that you appreciate and respect his grandfather. As your son grows up, his way of communicating with his grandfather will change by observing your attitude. Have him make a habit of giving his grandfather shoulder rubs or giving snack to his grandfather first.

Tell him that people must not say bad words to others, and that when a person uses bad words his or her mind is dirtied and other people will be saddened. Do an experiment so that your son can understand this idea through observation. Prepare for 2 fruits, for example, 2 oranges or 2 tomatoes. Say good words (ex. thank you) to one fruit every day. On the other hand, say bad words (ex. you are an idiot) to the other fruit. The fruit that received the good words will stay fresh and the other fruit, which received the bad words, will go bad and turn black. These are scary results. While having your son learn through experience, also tell him that if you speak good words, your mind will be clean, but if you speak bad words, your mind will get dirty. If you say to your son, “○○(his name), I want you to grow up to be a person with a clean mind. So, let’s not use bad words,” he will be able to easily understand easily.

Should I believe my daughter’s obvious lies?

【Q】 Recently, my oldest daughter (1st grade) often tells lies. For example, when she loses something, she will say, “It is at my school.” Or when she does something, she says, “○○(her friend’s name) did it.” My second child is so cute, but I am too strict with my first daughter. However, since I have come to understand the Shichida Method, our relationship has improved because I often hug or praise her. Should I believe her obvious lies? Or should I tell her that telling a lie is bad?

 

【A】 Sometimes, children tell a lie or do other troubling things. This is a sign that they want to attract their parents’ attention and to get their parents’ love. Probably, since you began hugging her she is now able to convey the feeling “I want to be loved” which she was enduring. If you receive her signs, and bring her up using the Shichida Method (conveying your love, accepting, praising, and developing your daughter), she will be satisfied and will stop telling a lie. If you scold her when she has told a lie, she will not be satisfied, and will grow up to be a liar. Ask for her help, and after she finishes the task, convey to her how much you rely on her and love her by giving her a tight hug and saying, “You are my treasure.” If you can adequately convey your love to your daughter, she will stop telling lies.

My daughter boasts.

【Q】 These days, I often talk with other mothers about “How should we deal with our children’s boasting?” My parents said to me, “It is good not to boast about what you can do.” I grew up believing this is true. I have said to my daughter, “Even if you are able to do something more quickly than other children, you should not boast about it.” However, some mothers say that it is childlike to boast to each other because they did their best. I worry about what I should say to my daughter when she boasts. Please give me good advice.

 

【A】 Your question is about how you should deal with your daughter’s boasting, but why does she boast? Probably because she thinks, “I can do this!” “I’m so great!” Certainly, it is wonderful that she could say her multiplication tables since she was little. (You didn’t indicate how old she is.) It is one of her achievements. She is happy she is able to do that. She challenges the next step because she is glad. This positive cycle is very good.

However, boasting to someone can be thought of as “comparing yourself with someone”. We do not study “to be superior to others”. There are 3 reasons why we study:

  • We are happy to grow up.
  • We can achieve our goals.
  • We can contribute to the world.

You should remember these reasons. Don’t compare your daughter with others or put priority on her academic achievements.

My son is too shy.

【Q】 My son (2 years 4 months old) has been attending an infant school near our house for 3 months, but he is attached to his teacher and he cries when separated from her. We go to a child-rearing group and the park, but he cannot be separated from me. I think he is shy around people and places. On the other hand, he runs around in the department store or public places. It is dangerous sometimes. I take him to the school for his own benefit, but he cries and does not do activities. I wonder if I should keep taking him. Also, I worry that because his younger sister was born when he was 1 year 10 months old he has reverted back to his infancy.

 

【A】 He seems to get shy in school or unfamiliar places, but this often happens during this stage of children’s growth because they are shy of strangers or unfamiliar places. Also, this is the age where your son wants to separate from you, but he cannot do it perfectly yet. Furthermore, he seems to go revert to baby behaviors. He probably needs more of your love. When he needs you, you should accept and satisfy him. It is still necessary for him to stay with you. The basis of society is the relationship between parents and children. Don’t worry too much, and remember that you will satisfy him by increasing the times you hug him. When he gets older, and develops his understanding, he will hardly cry, and will be able to do activities at school.

However, if you think negatively, for example “I took him to school, but he…”, he will feel your negativity, and it will make the activities boring. After going to school, the children’s group or the park, relieve him by giving him a tight hug and saying to him kindly, “○○(his name), my heart always stay with yours, so you don’t have to worry about anything.”

Also, if you have him imagine, through Five-Minute Suggestions, that he and his classmates enjoy learning so much at school, for example, “Your teacher and your friends love you. You love them, too,” these suggestions will come true. Additionally, he will like his school, and be willing to go. You can solve some of your troubles by doing Five-Minute Suggestions.

I am troubled that my son is too shy.

【Q】 My son is 4 years old. He loves dinosaurs so much. But he is shy. When neighbors greet him, he says, “Gyaooooo.” When he is asked something, he says, “Wooooo.” Whenever he says those things, I say to him, “Let’s say ‘Hello.’”, but he says “I’m too shy!” I think he will be able to say it someday, but I worry about it with my arms crossed because my younger child (2 years old) imitates him.

 

【A】 It seems difficult for your son to greet others. However, in such a case, if you force him to greet others, he will not want to, contrary to your expectations. First, show him a model by greeting someone with your smile.

On the other hand, guide him to be able to greet someone by saying kindly, “I think a good boy can greet others well.” Then, try to raise him through praise. If he can greet a little, sincerely and dramatically praise him. Through this praise he will gain confidence, become motivated, and be willing to greet others.

My daughter takes too long to finish tasks.

【Q】 I always want my daughter to be able to use her time well, but it is difficult to convey my feelings to her. From the beginning, she has had a slow personality. Once she starts something, she wants to do it for a long time until she is satisfied. It is wonderful that she can stay focused, but it is beginning to have effects on her daily life, such as at school. The older she gets the harder it is for her to use her time effectively because the amount of restrictions increase. Please give me some good hints.

 

【A】 It is really wonderful to have concentration and to be able to keep it. Also, if you develop her high-speed processing ability, it will be “a double advantage.” The right brain works at a very high speed. If you have her do rapid training, high-speed circuits in her right brain will work naturally, and she will do things quickly. Try adding rapid training into her activities. You can do the training in various ways. The easiest way is Reading Listening Speaking Training. Have her listen to CDs that are recorded at several times the normal speed. As she listens, have her “read” the text, listen to it, and say it out loud following along with the CDs.

My son does not easily prepare for kindergarten by himself.

【Q】 My son is 5 years 8 months old. He goes to kindergarten, but it is difficult for him to prepare to go. He does not hate kindergarten, but he cannot easily do what he needs to because he forgets or starts to play. I made a chart of his schedule, and said to him, “Next what will you do?”, but it is only effective at that time. I say to him, “If you get ready for your next day at kindergarten by 9 o’clock each night, I will circle the day. If you get 20 circles, let’s go out to eat,” but he can only do it once or twice a week. I have him prepare for kindergarten by himself as much as I can, but is it too early? Please give me some advice.

 

【A】 Try doing Five-Minute Suggestions with him. When he has just fallen asleep, give him good suggestions like “You are such an active boy. Your brain works very actively, and you can do anything quickly. You like ○○. The more you do something, the more quickly you will be able to do it. Now, you do something very quickly in your dream. Everyone is impressed by your quick actions.” Then, have him listen to Mozart. The work in his brain will change, and he will transform into a child who can concentrate and memorize.

I worry that my son is too timid.

【Q】 My son is 3 years old. He is so timid. It probably started when he was afraid of a trick clock and the dolls on display at his grandmother’s house. Now, he is scared by pictures in picture books and calendars, and says as he cries, “Please hide it.” (Maybe, he dislikes the eyes.) He says many things like this. I am troubled by what I should do.

 

【A】 All children experience a period when they are afraid of everything. If you force them to get used to it, or you scold them, they will be even more scared. As he experiences various things, he will become accustomed to exciting things. Remember that this phase is temporary, and don’t worry too much. If you just worry, he will feel your emotions and become more and more scared.

When he is scared, relieve him by hugging him and saying, “Don’t worry. I’ll be with you.” He will feel your warmth and develop his relief through your hugs. Even if what scares him is what you hate, relieve him by pretending not to care about it.

Also, have him experience success in many things so that he actively tries anything, and so that his strength to overcome difficulties is developed. Please develop your son’s confidence by giving him tasks that he can achieve when he makes only a little effort. Develop his interests and what he is good at. It will bring out his confidence and strengthen his mind.

I worry that my son is too kind.

【Q】 My older son is 7 years old. He is earnest and a kind brother. He is also considerate of his younger brother. My younger son wants anything his older brother has. But my older son gives things to his younger brother immediately. It is ok, but when he is playing and someone cuts in line in front of him or his turn is skipped, he doesn’t seem to mind. I am afraid that he is always at a disadvantage. How should I teach him?

 

【A】 Your son has grown up to be a very kind boy. This is because you have adequately conveyed your love to him. As he grows up, his desire to possess something will appear, but you do not need to compare your son with others or worry about him. Think positively that he will grow up to be a kind child who can lend his belongings to others.

He is patient and can share his belongings with others, because you have good communication with him. When a child is young, it is very important to adequately convey parents’ love, and to teach the child not to be selfish and considerate toward others. Keep accepting and praising your son’s good points and treasure your communication with him.

My daughter gets nervous in front of others and cannot relax.

【Q】 I need your advice about my daughter who is in the 1st grade. She gets nervous about everything when someone is near her. When someone is near her, she seems unable to think freely. I think she is at an age when she can absorb various things like objects, voices and conversations around her as if she were a sponge. But she seems too nervous to think about anything. Sometimes, she cannot hear what I say. When she let her depend on me, and do things for her, she hears what I say. However, if I warn her a little, she seems to stop thinking. I want her to be free from the cycle of stress. What should I do?

 

【A】 She seems to be nervous in front of others. In order to release her stress, do image training. Do it in the following order:  meditation, controlled breathing, and images. In meditation, have her close her eyes and relieve her. After about 20 seconds, do controlled breathing. Have her breathe more slowly and deeply than usual. This is abdominal breathing, also known as “controlled breathing” In order to help her easily understand the technique, it is good to say to her, “When you breathe in, puff out your tummy like a balloon. When you breathe out, your tummy will be flat.” Then, after repeating this three times, have her imagine. Have her imagine something good by saying, “○○(her name), you are going to show your performance to many people. You are relaxed as you cheerfully show them.” Only have her imagine what she wants to do. When she imagines, have her do so in a good state. Her brain waves will synchronize with yours, and it will be easier for her to sense your feelings. When she imagines, try to resonate with her (try to you synchronize your brain waves with hers). In order to do this, you should imagine while helping her to imagine.

Then, do Five-Minute Suggestions, as well. Say to her, “○○(her name), you can listen obediently. You can relax and speak in front of others without being ashamed.” When she is in front of someone, tell her to relax by closing her eyes and breathing deeply for a while. Try to have her begin with imagining that she in successful in small things which relate to her.

When my son makes a mistake, he cries and is mortified by it. What should I say to him?

【Q】 My son is 5 years old. He hates to lose. When he makes a mistake on a worksheet or cannot guess correctly in Right Brain Memorization, he cries and is mortified by his mistakes. I have never scolded him about his mistakes, and I say to him, “Even if you make some mistakes, it’s alright,” but his behavior does not change. What should I do? Am I saying something wrong to him?

 

【A】 “It is too bad that you made a mistake, right? However, you are great because you were able to do it up to this point. You will be eventually be able to do the thing you made a mistake on. So, let’s try it.” In this way, accept his embarassment, praise what he was able to do, and encourage him more. He will find his weak points and grow up because he has made mistakes. The mistakes become chances. As he repeatedly makes mistakes, the amount of what he can do increases. He will gain confidence gradually, and will not care about making little mistakes.

In Shichida Education, we think it is important to praise what children are able to do. Even if they make a mistake, we should accept them, saying “Good job” or “Well done.” Children come to like activities because they are praised. They will continue doing activities because they are accepted.

Although my daughter is already 6 years old, she says to me all day, “Let’s play together.”

【Q】 My younger son is good at playing alone. However, my oldest daughter says to me all day, “What are we going to play next?” I am worried because she likes to play with me. But she is already 6 years old…Do you have any good ideas to solve this?

 

【A】 It is necessary for 6-year-old children to develop their sociability in which they are independent of their parents and can play in harmony with other children. Take part in local events or events for children, and have her experience various things like communicating with other children. You should develop her confidence by letting her help you, and praising and accepting what she was able to do. It is helpful for developing her independence.

Bring out her intellectual curiosity by teaching her to read books or draw pictures. If she finds things she enjoys and becomes absorbed in them, she will be able to play alone. Also, share positive images with your daughter so that she can be relieved when she is separated from you, for example, “When you leave me, you will be all right! Our hearts are linked to each other, ” or “When you leave me, you can be relaxed and enjoy playing.”

My son is immediately dependent on others.

【Q】 My son is an elementary school student. When he does anything, he never tries and immediately depends on others, for example, “How do I do it? Do it for me!” When he plays with his friends, he relies on his friends, “△△(his friend’s name), do it for me, because I can’t do it!” I encourage him to do things by saying to him, “○○(his name), let’s try it so that you can do it,” but he says, “No, I won’t.” He has no motivation. Please tell me some words that will motivate him.

 

【A】 Your son seems careful. Probably, he depends on others because he is afraid of making a mistake. It is most effective to use the “Model Image Method”, in which he tries to do something after he imaging that he can do it. In this way, he will be able to do the task. Do not deny him. Have him image before he does anything, and give him positive suggestions that he can do things just as he imagines them. Please say to him, “○○, your brain has a genius function that remembers everything and does things easily once it sees a model. So, you will definitely be able to do it.”

In order to motivate him, you should not negate your son and accept him just as he is. Then, it is good to guide him to use his right brain to bring out his expert brain functions and do things just as he imagines, developing his abilities in virtual rehearsals. If you have him experience easily doing tasks by himself, and sincerely praise what he can do, you will be able to motivate him more and more.

My son sticks too closely to his friends at kindergarten. Even when I encourage him against this, he does not listen.

【Q】 My son is 4 years old, and was born between January 1 and April 1 [a late birthday]. I care about his actions very much. I had him enter kindergarten this April, and he will attend the school for 2 years because I am concerned about “his late birthday” and his speech. He always sucks his thumb. He becomes easily attached to people, and will follow them to the bathroom or stick to others at his kindergarten. I am so troubled by it. When he sucks his thumb, even if I say to him, “You will be a ‘Gazigon’ (from ‘Can You Do It? Vol.1’), he says to me, “I’m not a pencil.” This troubles me.

 

【A】 Children who are born between January 1 and April 1 are about 1 year younger than children who were born last April. It is a heavy pressure on the younger children. Encourage him to grow up mentally by asking him to help with something easy, and by treating him as a man. If you worry that he cannot do enough, your feelings will be conveyed to him negatively. If you change your view and the way you praise and communicate with him, he will also change. He will make an effort among children who were born earlier. Try supporting him.

If he started sucking his thumb when he entered kindergarten, it is probably a sign that he has anxiety in his heart. say to him, “○○(his name), I love you so much,” as you give him a tight hug, or imagine what he is good at by doing Five-Minute Suggestions with him. In your image, convey the harmony of friendly play with his friends or a picture of him not sucking his thumb.

When my son hits someone, should I scold him?

【Q】 My son is 2 years 10 months old. When slightly older children visit our house, and do something he does not like, he hits them. This worries me. I try, as much as I can, not to scold him because my parents say, “He will only be like this temporarily, so it’s alright.” However, if I do not scold him, the other children do not seem satisfied. How should I communicate with my son?

 

【A】 Your son hits someone when he does not like something because he cannot yet express his thoughts through words well. Just as people around you say, you do not have to scold him too strictly because his situation is temporary. However, you should tell him that hitting is something that he should not do.

When he hits his friends, apologize to the friends for him, “I’m sorry he slapped you.” Then, in front of the other child, tell your son that it is bad to hit someone and what he should say instead, “Stop hitting someone, because it is painful when someone hits you. In this situation, you can say ‘○○’ instead.” He will not be able to immediately understand just because you tell him about it. It is important to patiently continue to talk to him about it.

I do not want to use words that forbid…

【Q】 My daughter often plays outside. I always have to watch her. I know I shouldn’t, but I use words that forbid like, “○○(her name), don’t eat that.” or “○○, don’t touch that.” She is not even 1 year old yet. I feel like I am only going to end up saying no more and more and I hate myself. I want to help my daughter understand without negating her, but what kind of feeling should I have or what should I say?

 

【A】 Now, your daughter has a strong curiosity in which she wants to try to do various things. She wants to do what she likes because she still cannot distinguish between what is good or what is bad. Mischievous actions in the process of growth are called “children’s work” Even if children are told, “No”, they will keep doing the action many times. Parents get angry with their child and sometimes scold him or her strictly, but this will only make the child worse and he or she will react stronger. It is difficult not to scold your daughter because you want her to be disciplined. However, think of her actions now as experiments in which she is learning, and communicate with her trying to get her to do things that you think are safe. It is good to make rules in your house, and to communicate them to her. On the other hand, keep teaching her with patience about what she should not do.

Also, before saying, “Don’t do that,” it is good to divert her attention to other things by saying to her, “Look, there is ○○ over there. Shall we go over there?” When she does things you don’t want her to do, sincerely tell her with a sad look or action that you do not want her to do that and it will be easier for her to understand.

My daughter does not greet others

【Q】 My daughter is 5 years old. Even when her teacher at kindergarten or someone she knows greets her with “Good morning” or “Goodbye”, she does not look at them or and greet them. I have warned her several times, but recently she does not greet them. I am worried about her. At least, I want her to cheerfully greet her teacher at kindergarten. When if I meet people, I cheerfully greet them, but why doesn’t my daughter? Is it impossible for a 5-year-old child to greet someone?

 

【A】 Maybe, she is a little embarrassed of greetings. She may not to be able to greet someone because of her age. You should not force her to greet, but guide her, as you do now, by showing examples so that she can learn to greet people. In order for her to be able to spontaneously greet others, try greeting as much as possible at home. Parents or people around children should not have the children greet first, but show them examples by initiating the greeting, like, “Good morning.” “Goodbye.” “Let’s eat.” “It was very delicious. Thank you.”

If people around your child greet her often, she will learn to greet, and except for her family members, she will greet people soon. At first, you should keep initiating the greeting. In addition, it is important to have an abundance of physical contact, and to convey your love to your daughter. Try to say kind words to her and convey your love to her by giving her a tight hug for 8 seconds. After giving her suggestions of your love or oneness, it is also good to say to her, within Five-Minute Suggestions, “When I greet someone, you can greet the person along with me using your smile.” Please treasure raising your daughter as you accept and praise her. When she can greet slightly, please develop her motivation and eagerness by sincerely praising her.

My son is in the 2nd grade. He often forgets to bring things. How can I help prevent this?

【Q】 My son is already in the 2nd grade. However, if I do not check his belongings, he will forget to bring something to school. In order to help him prepare for school by himself, what should I say to him?

 

【A】 It is good to help your son prepare for school by imagining what he will do at school. He should look at the school timetable, imagine the contents of the classes, and prepare for them. At first, if you ask him, “Third period is PE, right? What do you need?” he will be able to imagine more easily.

Also, it is also good to make a calendar together on which your son can write the things he needs to bring or place the clothes or belongings he needs to take in a basket. At first, prepare for school along with your child, gradually letting him prepare by himself. Words are important suggestions for him. Develop his eagerness by focusing on the things in which he makes small efforts. Say to him, “You remembered to bring it. You did it!” It is important to trust your son and not worry too much.

My son often forgets things…

【Q】 My son is the 5th grade. I am troubled because he often forgets to bring things to school. He not only forgets to bring things but also to do his homework. I always tell him to finish his homework as soon as he gets home. He will say, “I’ve finished it,” but in fact he usually has not. I cannot check what his homework is because his teacher does not write it in the parent-teaching communication notebook. If he forgets to do his homework, his teacher warns him. However, he does not care, and forgets to do it. What should I do?

 

【A】 It seems difficult for your son to make a habit of doing his homework. First, ask him why he is learning. Then, ask him what he wants to be in the future. If he says, “When I become a grown-up, I want to be ○○,” say to him, “So, in order to become a ○○, what do you think you need to do?” With your son, think about the importance of learning. He will understand the importance of doing his homework, and will be able to develop his motivation.

On the other hand, create an environment in which he can easily learn. Make a chart of his routine, and have him learn about when the easiest time for learning is. Help him make it his habit. Then, you should encourage him to do his homework as you guide him. However, if you say too much to him, sometimes he will lose his eagerness. Try “not to say too much” and “not to scold”, and while gauging your son’s condition, guide him so that he can gradually check on his own if he needs to do his homework.

How can I help my son treasure items?

【Q】 My son is 3 years old. He has too many toys and picture books. I think he is growing up to be a person who does not treasure things. He throws his things and wants new ones. My parents and my husband buy new, various things for him. Also, he often gets used toys. Since he was 1 year old, I have made cleaning up a habit, but he cannot do it yet. What should I do so that my son treasures his belongings? And how can I raise him to be patient?

 

【A】 It is not good to give children too many toys. Having too many toys takes away children’s concentration and makes them fickle and easily bored. If your son has many toys, you should put them in a place where he cannot pull all of them out. Decrease the number of toys around your son by putting out only needed toys, putting away a toy after using it, or giving him a new toy and having him play with it. You should decrease the number of toys he has. If you have him use only a few toys in various ways, you will develop his concentration. You should not just let him get toys. If you manage him well, and have him play with a few toys, he will grow up to be a clever child.

At first, help him clean up his toys. If you prepare a box or shelves for him to he put toys in, help him easily understand which toys should be put in which box by putting stickers on the box or make a toy box with him, his consciousness will be developed. Make cleaning up toys a habit by putting toys in away in the places they belong.

My son has no attachment to objects.

【Q】 My son is 3 years old. He has no attachment to his belongings, and he says to me immediately, “Can I throw it away?” This may be because I give him too many intellectual books or toys. When I said to him, “The smock (which I made with my love) is too small for you, isn’t it,” he said, “So, I can throw it away, right?” When he cannot use his toy as he wants, he says, “I don’t need it.” How should I teach him about the importance of items or “wastefulness” Is it bad to give him too many things?

 

【A】 It is not good to give children too many toys or objects. They will not understand the value of things. It is the best to give your son one or two toys. You should not buy toys for him all the time. When he does something good, buy toys for him as a reward. Put toys in a box and take out only the toys you need for activities.

When your son cannot do something as he hopes, help and guide him to be able to do it gradually. For example, when he does a puzzle, you should connect some pieces in advance. He will be able to experience achievement when he connects a few pieces. Have him experience many moments of success by having him do easy tasks. Then, if he wants to get rid of a toy, appeal to his feelings, saying to him, “Poor toy! The toy also wants to play with you, ○○(his name).”

My daughter hates to have her teeth brushed.

【Q】 My daughter is 1 year 8 months old. Her teeth are beginning to come in. Everyday, I have difficulties brushing her teeth. Since her teeth began coming in, I have tried to have her hold a toothbrush. However, she does not let me finish brushing her teeth. I always have to calm her down. If she lets me brush her teeth, I let her stamp a calendar. However, she does not easily open her mouth. Do you have any good advice?

 

【A】 You should begin by getting your daughter accustomed to the feeling of a toothbrush. Have her get used to it gradually. The inside of our mouths is so sensitive. Many children have trouble getting used to the feeling of a toothbrush, and hate to have their teeth brushed. You should place priority on having her get accustomed to it, gradually touching her face or wiping the inside of her mouth. Remember that around 2 years old is the period for getting used to a toothbrush and the touching of the inside of the mouth. If you keep brushing her teeth, she will be gradually become accustomed to being touched inside her mouth. When you brush her teeth, try not to brush all her teeth at once. For example, today, brush her upper front teeth. Tomorrow, brush her lower front teeth. On the next day, brush her right back teeth. In this way, gradually brush her teeth and praise her if she lets you brush her teeth for a short time. If she is praised, it will be more fun for her to have her teeth brushed, right? It is important to draw out your daughter’s motivation to brush her teeth by herself.

Also, you should not try to have your daughter brush her teeth by herself, but you should brush together and show her an example of how to do it. If you show her a specific place to brush saying, “Can you brush here? Can you do it like this?” she will brush her teeth more easily, and she will enjoy it as if it were a game. Make brushing her teeth fun by reading a picture book about brushing teeth, brushing along with her favorite character, or brushing while singing a song.

I worry about my daughter’s problematic behavior.

【Q】 My daughter will be in the 5th grade soon. She does what she is interested in. She cannot move on to another task after she finishes what she is currently doing. She does not seem to try to keep promises. She lets the time pass by deceiving or pretending to forget her promises. Please tell me how to correct her behavior.

 

【A】 You should not look at your daughter negatively. Also, do Five-Minute Suggestions. The secret to raising children well is to never look at them negatively, to accept and praise them, and to convey parents’ love to them. When she does something troubling, you should be sure to speak positive words to her. If your daughter can clean up after herself, even if your words are about keeping a promise, it is ok. It is good to praise her for things that you think are normal, for example, when she wakes up cheerfully in the morning, or she is able to greet others.

In addition, work on her subconscious. You will see results to your child’s troubling problems by using Five-Minute Suggestions. You can also do Five-Minute Suggestion when she is sleeping. When your daughter is sleeping soundly, her brain wave are δ(Delta) waves. Give her Key Suggestions by calling her name as you caress her body. Her brain waves will change to θ(theta) waves. At that time, give her subconscious positive suggestions like, “○○(her name), you can concentrate on doing one thing. When you clean up, it feels really great.” It is important to keep doing Five-Minute Suggestions. It takes at least 3 months for a brain circuit to be completely formed. You should not give up because you don’t immediately see results. Keep patiently doing suggestions. Also, the maximum number of suggestions you should give at one time is 3. You should not give your daughter too many suggestions at once. After some results appear, give her other suggestions.

I want my daughter to help with the housework.

【Q】 My older daughter is 6 years old. Even if I ask for her help with something easy (ex. preparing plates for meals, pouring tea, etc.), she does not do it immediately. Instead, her grandmother does it. Should I force her to do it, or should I wait until she is willing to help? (Now, for her, it seems natural that her grandmother does it.)

 

【A】 If you force her to help there will be no meaning in it. If she does not feel that it is fun to help you, it is not effective. First, reflect on whether you and your daughter are able to sincerely understand each other. If you raise her by accepting, praising, and loving her, and convey your love to her enough, she will be willing to do what you ask of her. If she does not do something, it is because her heart is not moved by it. Please accept and praise what she does, and adequately convey your love to her. She will begin immediately doing what you ask of her.

My son wants to do everything by himself.

【Q】 My son is 2 years 9 months old. I am very glad that he loves helping (imitating) me. If I do not ask him help me, he washes dishes, wipes them with a dishcloth, and puts them back in the cupboard. I don’t let him use dangerous objects such as kitchen knives, saying to him, “You might injure your hand. When you get older, you can help me.” But he never understands.

Then as he cries, he hits me, throws dishes, and gets angry. When he cannot do things from the beginning to the end, he never understands. I am a slightly worried about this.

 

【A】 I know that you don’t want him to touch kitchen knives if possible because there is a risk of him injuring himself when he uses them. However, as he grows older, he will not be able to use them well. If you have him use objects from the time he is young, it will be possible for him to understand how to use them. Satisfy him first by teaching him the safe way to use it, and have him do what he can. When he wants to do something he clearly cannot do, ask him to complete another task, for example, “Only I can cut this, but I’d like to ask you to cut something else.” By having your son cut something himself or helping you cook, it is possible to satisfy your son and help him eat what he dislikes. When he helps you, please praise him sincerely.

How should I develop my son’s motivation?

【Q】 My son is 5 years old. I don’t see my son desperately try hard in anything even when playing. I don’t think the reason is that he is an only child but I care about him. I am most concerned that when something is placed in front of him, he says, “I can’t do it.” For us as parents do you have any solutions?

 

【A】 In order to develop his motivation, you should convey your love to him sincerely, and satisfy him by accepting and praising what he does. Children’s motivation develops from the relief they feel when their mothers love them. In your daily life, try to say many positive words to him, and convey your love to him by hugging him. By being accepted and praised, he will naturally change into a child who has confidence.

In addition, find out what he is good at, and develop it gradually. If he finds “something in which he can beat everyone”, it will increase his confidence, and he will try to do various things.

If you have him try something difficult from the beginning, he will lose his confidence because he will not be able to do it. If you force him to do something, saying, “You have to do this,” he will lose his confidence unnecessarily. Don’t force him to do something. Instead, develop his confidence by helping him slightly, or give him something he can easily do and have him experience the feeling of “I can do it.”. When he is able to do something slightly, please praise him sincerely. He will gain confidence by being praised; it will develop his motivation and lead to his eagerness to try various things.

When he says, “I can’t do it,” guide him to be able to do it gradually by saying kind words to him like, “It’s alright. ○○, you can do it. Let’s do it together.” Even if it takes a long time for him to be able to do something, it is ok. Please believe in your son, accept and praise the things he can do and watch over him kindly.

My son does not seem to know the distinction between times when he should say “no” and when he should not.

【Q】 My son is the 2nd grade. He often says that it is difficult to not be able to say “no” to his friends. I’ve said to him before, “When you dislike something, you can say, ‘No.’”. But, he started easily saying “no” to things that he should do (ex. going to school). How should I explain to him that sometimes there are things he should do even if he does not want to do them or about the importance of keeping a promise?

 

【A】 Probably, he started easily saying “no” because he was relieved by your words, “When you dislike something, you can say ‘no.’” He may feel that he can now honestly say what he thinks. But he is the person who can know best what he should do.

First, accept his feelings as he tries hard to grow up. Say to him, “You are trying hard to endure aren’t you,” or “Think about how your friends feel.” Then, convey your gratitude that he is here now, “Thank you for being here.” His energy will change in a positive way. He will be able to have confidence and gain motivation again.

I am troubled because my son usually fools around in front of his teacher during his lessons.

【Q】 My son is 2 years 11 months old. He can do various activities and speak in various ways at home. However, he usually fools around in front of his teacher during his lessons (ex. when he is asked his name, he says nothing or the wrong name). How should I help him be more serious?

 

【A】 When people focus their attention on children, they get nervous, anxious, or lose confidence. Some children try to remove these feelings by fooling around. He can do various things at home. Probably, he is a little nervous in his classroom. We recommend that you talk with the teacher about your son, and have the teacher remove his stress or anxiety by giving him a tight hug when he comes into the classroom. Have the teacher try saying to him, “Thank you for coming.”

In addition, it is important to have solid relationship between you and the teacher. If you trust the teacher, open your heart and communicate with him or her. Your son will also open his heart to the teacher. After his lesson, give him confidence by letting the teacher praise what activities he was able to do. Accept and praise your son.

My daughter is too restless to do activities.

【Q】 My daughter is 1 year 3 months old. She can walk well. I have tried to read as many picture books as possible to her since she was born. However, she doesn’t listen to me when she looks at books. To keep her from getting distracted by something else, I put away all toys, don’t play a CD, and begin reading in a quiet place with her sitting on my knees. However, she only stays for a minute. It is difficult for her to stay seated. Do you have any good suggestions?

 

【A】 One-year-old children are interested in various things, and cannot concentrate on any one thing because they gradually start to walk and move about freely. Now, she is in this stage. Don’t read a book to her for a long time, but read it as if you were telling her a short story. Even if she listens to you seriously, only gradually show her the book or read it. It will become a habit, and she will gradually start concentrating on listening to you. You should choose a picture book that focuses on words, with a short story and colorful pictures that give some sort of intellectual stimulus. Don’t just read the book. Try paraphrasing it and tell your daughter the story in your words. If you keep up this habit everyday, her interest will develop and she will grow into a child who likes picture books.

My daughter cannot concentrate on anything.

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years old and our only child. She can only concentrate on one thing (playing) for five minutes. She does not seem to be in a bad mood, but when she can’t build with blocks or do her puzzle as she expects, she scatters the pieces as if she was irritated. In the future when she has to study, will she be able to sit on a chair properly?

 

【A】 Five minutes is about the time that children can keep their concentration. In Shichida lessons, the activities are changed about every 5 minutes. Using this curriculum, children can concentrate on all activities, and do about 10 to 13 activities per lesson.

When you lead your daughter in activities at home, you should do something similar. When she is able to concentrate on one activity for about 5 minutes, you should praise her and move on to the next activity. It is important to do content rich activities using the proper pace.

My son has too much pride. I am troubled by his egoism.

【Q】 My oldest son is 5 years 7 months old. He has too much pride. When he cannot ride his bicycle even after practicing, he says, “It’s the bicycle’s fault.” When things do not work as he expects, he takes it out on someone or the objects around him. This is his personality. He asks me to play cards everyday because I lose on purpose. How should I raise him to be a patient child?

 

【A】 He has too much pride and hates to lose. This means that he has self-esteem and a desire to improve himself. In the future, you should guide him to feel not that he is “winning against someone” but that he is “beating himself”.

To children his age, a game is a place where they can learn or experience various things. Especially, in card games that they play with other people, they can learn that sometimes they win, and sometimes they lose. They can also learn how to control their feelings or the importance of following the rules and playing fair. In addition, they can improve their communication skill. If they can do these things, they will be able to enjoy games with patience, which will have positive effects on the other things. Please consider these things and adjust the strength you use to play game. When he wins, praise him. As he keeps enjoying playing, he will be able to evenly match you in card games. He will learn various things such as patience.

My daughter cannot go to sleep easily.

【Q】 My youngest daughter is 2 years 9 months old. She cannot go to sleep easily, and she usually goes to bed after midnight, because she cannot form daily life rhythms. She has 2 brothers. One is a junior high school student, and the other is an elementary school student. Both my husband and I have jobs. Each of her family member’s daily schedule is different and I think that it has a bad effect on her…

 

【A】 In order to make her body healthy and strong, it is important for her to go to bed and fall asleep early. First, try waking her up 5 minutes earlier in the morning. Build on this so she is able to get up at 6 o’clock instead of 7 o’clock. She will fall asleep at night if you wake her up early at the same time every morning. If you let her sleep too much in the afternoon, she will stay up later. Try adjusting the time of her naps. She will be able to fall asleep earlier and sleep soundly during the night. Also, if she cannot digest the food she ate before going to bed, it will stimulate her stomach, and sometimes she will not be able to sleep. Please be careful about her eating habit rhythms as well.

For the times that she is still unable to get to sleep, please try to make her bedtime regular and guide her so that she can fall asleep at the same time everyday. Have her stay in bed and help her fall asleep by telling her a story.

In addition, help her fall asleep naturally by having her soak in a lukewarm bath or drinking alkali ion water just before bed. Be careful not let her play anything exciting right before bed either.

Life rhythms have a big effect on the growth of children’s minds and bodies. Please place importance on these rhythms.

I am worried because my daughter cries at night.

【Q】 My daughter is 1 year 1 month old. She often cries at night. Sometimes I lose sleep as well. I am still breastfeeding her a little. Do you have any suggestions of ways to stop her crying at night? My older son will be 4 years old soon and he does not cry at night.

 

【A】 There are many reasons children cry at night. Some children have bad dreams because of the stimulation they received in the daytime, such as hot or cold, and cry in the night. Children your daughter’s age sometimes cry because they are gaining knowledge gradually and developing their feelings, coming to understand various things. If she wakes up crying, it will cause you to lose sleep. However, when she wakes up, you should not nurse her. Try to help her fall asleep as naturally as possible by patting or stroking her body gently.

Additionally, try the following things to help your daughter sleep soundly. Have her soak in a lukewarm bath before sleeping or take a drink of water (water gives our brain a break and helps us fall asleep). Also, adjust her clothes according to the environment, and be careful not to give her too much sugar or fruit. In addition, calm her down by having her spend a quiet hour before sleeping or help her digest what she ate by increasing the amount of her physical activity during the daytime. It is also good to give your daughter positive suggestions in Five-Minute Suggestions such as, “You can sleep soundly until morning, and you will wake up feeling great.” After the phase she is in now, she will not cry at night. Please don’t worry about it too much and wait for her to grow.

I am troubled because my daughter’s daily rhythm is in disarray.

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years 2 months old. I am worried that her life rhythms are in disarray. It is difficult to correct them. Sometimes she gets up at 8 o’clock, and sometimes she gets up at noon. The earliest time she falls asleep is 10 o’clock at night, and the latest is 3 o’clock in the morning. After she wakes up, she naps. If she goes for a walk after her nap, she will fall asleep at about 8 o’clock at night because she is tired. However, after about 2 hours, she wakes up again. What should I do so that she starts going to bed and getting up early? If I force her to get up, it will be a worse pattern because she will nap twice. It is difficult to help her form habits.

 

【A】 The cause of her life rhythm disorder is her napping. It is absolutely necessary for 2-year-old children to nap. However, it is natural for them to be unable to sleep at night if you let them sleep for a long time. Day and night will switch, and your daughter will sleep so much in the daytime that she will not sleep much at night. She will get into a life pattern opposite from normal. In order to create a rhythm for her of going to bed and getting up early, the key is to have her get into the habit of sleeping soundly at night. In order to have her sleep soundly at night, you should have her play outside as much as possible during the daytime and have her use up her energy. By doing this, she will be able to sleep soundly. She will not wake up immediately. Even if she goes to bed at 8 o’clock at night, she will be able to sleep soundly until morning. It is important to let her play outside until she is satisfied. You can change her life rhythms by helping her create play habits. Understand that the basis of creating rhythms is playing in the daytime, and trying to get her to use all her energy. Also, try to wake her up early in the morning. Wake her up slightly earlier each day so that she is able to wake up at the time you wish. Life style conditions are different depending on the house, but if your daughter continues getting up early, she will fall asleep earlier at night. Stop her habit of napping twice in the daytime, letting her nap only once. Have her nap for 1 or 2 hours between the hours of 12 o’clock and 3 o’clock. If you make efforts in this way, her life rhythms will change naturally.

I want to improve my son’s daily life.

【Q】 My son is 2 years 7 months old. I think his ideal waking time is from 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. (He naps from 1 p.m. to 3 p.m.), but actually, he gets up at about 8 a.m. and goes to bed at 10:30 p.m. I wonder if this is good for him. It may be because my husband comes home late (about 9 p.m.).

 

【A】 Your son should go to bed a little earlier. In order to correct his life rhythm, gradually limit his naptime. The ideal time for napping is less than 2 hours between 1 p.m. to 4 p.m. If you change the air or give him good water such as alkali ion water, he will easily wake up. If his nap is long, he will go to bed later. You should have him nap earlier or make his naptime shorter. Because it is difficult to make his naptime short all at once, it is ok to slowly change his rhythm, making the time shorter while you watch his condition. Remember to change your son’s rhythm within a scope that is reasonable.

My daughter has a hard time waking up in the morning.

【Q】 My daughter is 5 years old. She does not easily wake up in the morning by herself.

I want her to go to bed by 8:30 p.m. and get up at 6 a.m., but even if I set an alarm clock for six, she stops it and keeps sleeping. If I let her sleep, she cannot do activities in the morning.

 

【A】 If she naps too much, goes to bed late, or does not sleep deeply, she will not wake up easily. Have her soak in a warm bath for a while before going to bed, and give her good water (ex. alkali ion water) after she takes her bath so that she will sleep soundly. Then, if you stop her naps, she will go to bed earlier.

On the other hand, when it is time for her to get up, guide her so that she can do so comfortably by opening the curtains or playing CDs. It is also good to do Five-Minute Suggestions. After giving her clear suggestions of love and oneness, please give her suggestions like “You can sleep soundly until morning and wake up easily.” If you work with her gradually, and begin with what she can do, she will be able to get up early. Also, regarding her activities, make a rough daily schedule. If you correct her life rhythms, and do a good job of including her activities in her rhythms, she will be able to continue doing activities without difficulty.

My daughter cannot be without a diaper.

【Q】 My daughter will be 4 and a half years old soon. She has not needed a diaper in the daytime since she turned 2. But she still needs one at night. I worry about her because she will soon turn 5.

 

【A】 Children do not stop urinating at night just because they are toilet trained. As their body functions start to work correctly alongside their growth, they will not urinate while they sleep. Don’t think about the fact that she is already 5 years old, but rather that she is still 5 years old. Before you put her to bed take her to the bathroom and avoid giving her liquids before she goes to bed. Also, give her suggestions before she goes to bed, “Then, ○○(her name), you are alright because you went to the bathroom. You can sleep soundly until morning without wetting the bed. If you have to use the bathroom, you will wake up and go to the bathroom.” If you think negatively, “She cannot stop using diapers yet. Why can’t she do it? She’s going to wet the bed again tonight…”, your negative feelings will be conveyed to her. This is not good. You should believe in your daughter and do Five-Minute Suggestions.

When my son gets absorbed in something, he ignores me, and does not go to the bathroom until he is almost going to have an accident…

【Q】 My son is 4 years old. These days, once he gets absorbed in something, he does not do what he needs to do. Apparently, he can hear my voice, but he ignores me. This troubles me. He goes to the bathroom only when he cannot stand it anymore and often slightly wets his underpants. I am worried because he cannot easily switch from playtime to mealtime or use the bathroom when he is absorbed in playing or reading a book.

 

【A】 Your son is absorbed in his favorite things because he gains a lot of wisdom from them. Communicate with him kindly and trust him. At first, watch him seriously to see what he is absorbed by and in what sort of situation. He is doing what he loves and if you watch when he is absorbed in something, it is possible to see a different side of your son.

In order to help him listen to you, it is important to promise something in advance. Then, tell him about the importance of promises by saying to him, “Let’s keep a promise. When you pretend not to hear my voice even when I speak to you, I feel very sad. Let’s do ○○ because you promised to do it.” If he does not listen to you in spite of these promises, say the opposite words to what you mean, such as “You don’t have to do it. I will clean everything up.”

Also, talk to your son, bringing up his feelings, for example, “○○, your underpants aren’t wet are they?”, “What time is it now? It’s about time to go to the bathroom,” or “I have to go to the bathroom, too. Let’s go together.”

How can I advance my son’s toilet training?

【Q】 I am thinking of starting my son’s toilet training because he turned 1 year old. I have him sit on a child’s potty or the toilet seat, but he hates to sit on them. However, before he gets in the bath, he pees. I wonder if I should praise or scold him. What should I do?

 

【A】 If your son can urinate in a child’s potty or on the toilet well from the beginning, it is just a coincidence. Even if you force him to do this when he has never tried it before, it is natural for him not to be able to do it. Have him make a habit of urinating before taking a bath.

Even when your son urinates in places other than the potty or toilet, teach him about what he is doing, for example, “You peed.” Will you scold him because of the place he urinated in? Or will you view it as a chance to teach him about his bodily functions? This will have a large effect on his toilet training later. Watch him in the beginning, and when he seems like he has to urinate, lead him to do so on a child’s potty or toilet seat. In this way, he will be able to do it. When he is able to, please praise him sincerely.

Since I started trying to have my son do his bowel movements on the toilet, he has hated going to the bathroom.

【Q】 My son is 3 years 3 months old. He still wears a diaper. On his 2nd birthday, since he promised to urinate in the bathroom, he has done so. Since that time, he has stopped using diapers, prepared his potty and peed by himself. However, since I started to have him try the same with bowel movements, he has hated going to the bathroom. While I am waiting for him to want to do it by himself, one year has passed. What should I do?

 

【A】 Motivate his toilet training by focusing on the times when he is able to use the bathroom. Toilet training is related to your son’s self-awareness as well as his body’s growth and ability to resist urination. He seems to be able to understand urination or having a bowel movement because he was able to do them before. So he is in the process of development. Focus on the times he can do use the bathroom, and motivate him to do it by being pleased and praising him sincerely when he tells you that he peed, for example, say to him, “That came out well didn’t it?” or “You were able to urinate well.” Then, have him make a habit of using the bathroom. For example, have him go to the bathroom after meals or before leaving home. Continue making requests to him when he is in a good mood.

Also, do Five-Minute Suggestions. First, you should give him key suggestions like, “○○, you are sleeping now, but someplace is awake in your brain. So, you can understand what I say.” Then, give him sincere relief by conveying your love to him, “○○, I love you so much.” After conveying your love sincerely, you should give him positive suggestions. For example, you should say, “○○, you can tell me that you have to use the bathroom before your urinate,” or “You can urinate and have a bowel movement in the bathroom.” You should talk to him as you usually do. Give him these suggestions in a way that is easy for him to understand, and say them to him in an assertive tone, “○○, you can do it,” “You are doing it,” or “You did it.” Do these activities while believing that your son is capable of becoming toilet trained.

My daughter always plays when she takes a bath. Even after I have told her how to wash her body many times, she cannot wash her body effectively.

【Q】 My daughter is 4 years old. When we take a bath, I always tell her about how to wash or rinse off her body, but she always plays, and she cannot do it effectively. When I told her, “I’m not going to say anything about washing your body because I have told you many times,” she cried. What should I do?

 

【A】 Considering that your daughter is 4 years old, probably she thinks bath time is fun because she takes it with you and because she is happy when you wash her. For a while, please remember that she is in a growth process in which she can gradually do things for herself. Probably, it is difficult for her to learn how to wash and rinse off her body all at once. At first, have her wash different parts of her body one by one. If she can do it well, praise her sincerely. If it is hard for her to wash her whole body, it is ok for her to begin washing a part that she can wash easily like her hands or her feet. It is also good to make a chart to record what she is able to wash. For example, “I can wash my hands.” “I can wash my feet.” “I can rinse my body completely.” When she can do it, put a sticker on the chart. If you guide her to be able to do things gradually, while praising what she can do well, she will say to you, “I can already do it by myself!”

My son hates to sit in his car seat.

【Q】 My son is 7 months old. Recently, when we drive, he seems bored when he sits in his car seat, and he begins crying immediately. I wonder how I should deal with it.

 

【A】 Your son is in a phase where he really wants to move about freely so he probably feels restricted by his car seat. However, you must discipline him seriously, and even if he cries, you must make him endure the experience. Just hearing their mother’s voice can relieve children. Try to do this or some of the following things. You can sing children’s songs using CDs. You can read a picture book, record it, and then play it in the car for him. You can attach his favorite stuffed animal to his car seat. You can put some toys that make sounds near him.

My daughter cannot leave us (her parents).

【Q】 My daughter will be 2 years old soon. She cannot be apart from me and play like at the park. Even at home, she asks me to hold her. I did Five-Minute Suggestions, but I cannot see any clear results. Maybe I am doing something wrong. What should I do so that she can play apart from me?

 

【A】 Children at her age cannot immediately leave their mothers and play yet. The age when children are able to play with their friends is from around 4 years old. There are also differences among individuals. At first, begin by playing with her at the park. Then, gradually start playing with her near other children. Children’s play follows these steps:

  • A child does not play with other children, and plays what he/she likes by himself/herself.
  • A child can watch other children playing while they are near a person they feel safe with.
  • A child can play in a group, with each child playing something different.
  • A child can play in a group while following rules and cooperating with other children.

In order to smoothly move into group play, communicate with your daughter as much as possible. When she asks you hold her, please do so as much as you can. If you accept her and she is relieved, she will not come to ask you to do it. In Five-Minute Suggestions, after giving her key and love suggestions, speak to her patiently and as clearly as possible, “You can play with ○○(her friend’s name) in the park.”

My son always plays alone.

【Q】 I worry that my son always plays alone for long periods of time. How long should he play alone in a day?

 

【A】 Bringing up a child to be able to play alone for 20 minutes to 30 minutes a day is a goal in child-rearing. When he concentrates on playing alone, watch him kindly without interrupting him. If he plays for too long, speak to him sometimes and join in his games. The relationship between parents and children is the basis of communication and sociability. It is important to say many words to your son.

Since my daughter was born, my husband has been strict with our oldest son.

【Q】 My second child (my first daughter) was just born. We longed for her. Since my first child was born, about 6 years passed. My son (my first child) had all our love to himself because he was our only child. However, since my daughter was born, apparently my husband’s interest has moved from him to her, and my husband has been strict with him. (My husband often slaps him…) I give my son priority, convey my love to him, and tell him that my husband values him. However, I worry about my son because I see that my husband is strict with him and he cries. I put the book “Bringing up Children’s Dreams” near my husband and he reads it. However, he cannot easily change. He seems be frustrated at his job.

 

【A】 Six years have passed since your first child was born and now you have a daughter so your husband must treasure her. His job seems to be hard and she is probably the person who removes his stress. At first, please understand, love, and respect your husband. If you have negative feelings about your husband, he can feel them. If you change your view, your husband will change. If your husband changes, I am sure that his way of communicating with your son will change.

Also, you already tell your husband about the importance of raising your children. When you do this, try imaging. If you imagine that your husband is kind and friendly toward your son, he will feel the waves of the image and try to change, as real as you imagined.

Since my second child was born, I no longer feel that my first child is cute.

【Q】 I have 2 daughters: one is 6 years old, the other is 10 months old. Until my second daughter was born, I thought that my first daughter was so cute and I wanted to develop her good points. When I scolded her, I never did so loudly. However, since my second daughter was born, I have started to care about my first daughter’s faults, don’t think that she is “cute”, and hate to be touched by her. Now, my feelings are improving a little. However, I hug her as if it were my duty. What should I do so that I can hug her again with my love?

 

【A】 The daughter “you felt was cute” and the daughter “you can’t feel is cute” are the same person. She never changed. Please realize that the cause of the problem is within you. Even if you feel as if hugging her is your duty, it is ok. Please hug her. Please say to her several times a day, “○○(her name), I love you so much. Thank you for being born to me!” When she wakes up, hug her and say with a smile, “You woke up cheerfully. ○○, you are so cute.” No matter how you feel about her faults, never look at them. Please praise and accept her good points. Then, tell her about her good points as you hug her. In this way, your feelings will change, and your daughter’s smile will appear.

Since my younger child was born, I have been worried because my older daughter does nothing.

【Q】 My older daughter (4 years 11 months old) was independent early on. I had no difficulty in bringing her up because she was able to do most things from the time she was 2 years old. However, since I became pregnant with my younger child (she was 3 years 10 months old), she has done nothing. When she comes back from the bathroom, she says to me, “Put my underpants on.” When she eats, she says to me, “Feed me.” She asks me to do everything. Now that a year has passed, I want her to do a few things. What should I do? She still wears a diaper at night.

 

【A】 I am sure that your older daughter is a person who tries harder and has more independent ability than some others because she was able to do various things from the age of 2. However, she has probably reverted back to infant behaviors because of your second child. She thinks subconsciously that she can take back your love and that you will focus on her if she behaves like a baby.

If you satisfy her with your love, her body and mind (soul) will be able to develop. Satisfy her with your love by feeling what she feels; say to her, “I’m sorry that I make you feel lonely. I love you so much,” and give her a tight hug for 8 seconds. If you give her your love again by doing this many times a day, she will be able to do what she used to by herself. Also, she will be able to grow up steadily.

I want to communicate with my children equally.

【Q】 I have 2 children: one in the 3rd grade (girl), and the other is in kindergarten (boy). I understand that it is bad to feel that my son is cuter than my daughter. However, I feel this way. My daughter sometimes seems to see through my feelings and tells me. I have no memory of my mother cherishing me as her cutest child (I have 3 sisters). I don’t want my daughter to feel the same things I did…

 

【A】 Parents often get angry with and scold their older child more than their younger child, because they rely on the older child or they think that the older child should understand more than the younger. It is ok that you can communicate with your children according to their respective ages because there is a gap between them. It is important to hug and convey your love to each of your children. By doing this, your daughter’s anxiety will disappear. You should have plenty of physical contact with your son and accept his demands because he is still in kindergarten. You should rely on your daughter, ask her to help you, and praise what she is able to do. Never forget to praise and accept her, “I appreciate that you always help me. I trust you.” Create a trusting relationship between you and your daughter.

It is difficult to communicate with each child in the same way or with the same timing during the same phase. Treasure the time you have with each child and think about just that child. If you communicate with each of them according to their growth stage, you will be able to create a good relationship with your daughter.

I feel that my younger daughter is much cuter than my older one.

【Q】 I have 2 daughters: one is 4 years old, and the other is 1 year old. I feel that my younger daughter is cuter than my older one. My older daughter has had a terrible temper since she was born. I often hate to communicate with her because she cries often. I have difficulties communicating with her. However, I have no difficulties in bringing up my younger daughter because I learned about the Shichida Method, and did prenatal education with her. She can find things she enjoys by herself. I feel sincerely relieved by her.

 

【A】 Many parents were not prepared to being up their oldest child and did so without any flexibility in their hearts. However, they bring up their younger child with plenty of patience and cherish that child. However, children are more sensitive to their parents’ feelings than parents expect. If you deny your older daughter’s desire to be loved, it is natural for her to react or cry. Now remember to give your older daughter priority as you raise her, even if you don’t think she is cuter than your younger child. If you change, she will go revert back to a natural, obedient girl. You will be able to smoothly accept her.

Please understand that you are irreplaceable to your daughter. This is the key to the solution of how to change your attitude and feelings. You should never believe that your daughter does not change. You should try to change yourself.

How can I help my children share toys?

【Q】 I have 2 children: one is a 6-year-old girl and the other is a 3-year-old boy. I buy only one set of toys because I want them to remember to share and get along. However, they always fight over the toys. Should I buy 2 sets of a toy? Also, my daughter often says to my son, “Unless you do ○○, I will not share this with you.” What she makes him do is never bad, only things like “finish eating” or “brush your teeth”. However, I mind it.

 

【A】 Even if there are 2 sets of a toy, it will only increase the number of toys. If your children are bored of it, it will only occupy space. You should develop your children’s ability to share through their games. Buy toys suitable for their ages. When either of them wants to borrow a toy, the child needs to get the other’s permission. Teach them this rule. To get them to play together and share, you should give them a toy that they can play with in various ways like creating or building something, for example, interlocking plastic blocks or wooden building blocks. When they want to make something big, they will have to share with each other so that they can complete it because each child’s blocks will not be enough. At this time, they will learn to use something together in a friendly way.

Your daughter gives your son some conditions for his behavior. If you usually say to your children, “Unless you do ○○, I will not ×× ”, she may be imitating you. It is true that she is not saying something bad to him, but it is important to check how you communicate with your children and show them a good example.

My older daughter tries to prevent me from taking care of my younger child.

【Q】 These days, I am troubled by my 4-year-old daughter’s actions. When I try to give a piggyback to my younger son (1 year 3 months) in order to help him nap, my daughter finds the baby sling before I do. When I say to her, “Please let me borrow it,” she says to me, “No. Now, Pooh says that he wants to sleep.” Then she uses the sling to give her stuffed animal a piggyback. In addition, when I prepare the futon for my son to sleep on, she lies down on it before of him. She prevents me from doing things for him. I try to get him to sleep so that I can play with her while he is sleeping but she doesn’t understand. What should I say to her?

 

【A】 Your daughter prevents you from doing things for your son because she is jealous of him. She wants you to communicate with her more. You think that you will communicate with her after you calm your son down. However, if you always do this, she will wonder strongly “Why does she do things for him before doing them for me?” At first, say to her, “I always give you my priority.” Then, say to her, “○○(his name) looks sleepy. After he falls asleep, I can play with you. So, can I have the sling to get him to fall asleep?” When you do anything, if you speak to your daughter first, and hug her a little, she will be satisfied. She will not prevent you from doing things for your son. Please convey your love to your daughter sincerely.

I cannot read a book to my eldest son because my younger child asks me to read picture books to them.

【Q】 My first son (7 years old) learned to read letters because of the Shichida Method Education he had when he was 3 years old. My first daughter was born when he was 4 years old and I have not been able to read books to him. He has to read by himself. Also, when I try to read books to older daughter, my second daughter brings a book that she wants to read and continues crying until I read it to her, just as my first daughter used to do. Should I leave them and read books to my son?

 

【A】 Use your time effectively or think about ways in which all of your children can enjoy reading. If your son goes to bed later than your daughters, why don’t you read books to him at night? Or if he gets up earlier than them, you can read to him first thing in the morning.

It is difficult to communicate with each of your children when you read books. When you have no time to read, even if you only have 5 minutes per child or you read one book per child, it is ok. Decide on the order of whom you will read to and read the books. We recommend using “picture story boards” because you can show all three children the book at once. Also, it is ok to just tell your children a story without using a book. It is also good for your son to read books to your daughters unless they dislike it.

When my second child is born how can I effectively do activities with my eldest (5 year old) child?

【Q】 My second child will be born soon. My first son is 5 years old. They will never go to the same elementary school because of the gap between them. When I keep having my children do activities in the future, what should I be careful of or what is a good way to do activities with them?

 

【A】 Have your son speak to or read a picture book to your second child. If you have him speak to your second child as an older brother, they will understand each other in their hearts. In addition, he will look forward your second child’s birth. While you are pregnant, do activities that he can do together with the second child. When you read a book to him, please read it as if you were trying to read to your second child. You should spend the time feeling that he and your second child are doing the activities together.

After your second child’s birth, have them do activities together that they can, and when they cannot, have them take turns or work separately. You should make rules for doing activities. You can flash cards, read books, and play CDs of music or language for them at the same time. The contents of the cards or books should be what each child wants to do or is interested in. When you do activities that need to be changed depending on the child’s age, like worksheets, do them while one of the children is sleeping or when another family member can take care of the other child. You will need to think of ways to arrange their activities.

How should I teach two children at once?

【Q】 I have 2 sons: one is older, and the other is younger, in kindergarten. Basically, they get along. However, when I watch them do worksheets or phonics drills, both of them try to attract my attention. I often feel that I should have my children do worksheets one-on-one. When I watch my older son, having my younger son wait his turn, my older son will complete the worksheet slowly on purpose, and my younger son cannot wait for his turn and gets angry…I feel so stressed because I have them do the worksheets in the limited time we have before they go to kindergarten. Should I divide the time into 2 parts, for example, one in the morning and the other at night?

 

【A】 It must be difficult sometimes to have your sons do activities at once because there are 2 of them, but keep having them learn in the morning. Because they get along well, they care about what the other is doing or try to draw your attention away from the other. The ideal style of doing activities is one-on-one, but if it is difficult to do so, you should decide on an amount of time for each son before beginning the worksheets. Your oldest son should go first. Have your son ask any questions immediately if he has them, and deal with each son seriously. They will be conscious of the time, and will learn patience because they will know the allotted time. However, if you do this and still have difficulties, you can divide up the time you do activities as you mentioned.

What are some effective activities for siblings?

【Q】 I have 2 sons: one is 4 years old, and the other is 3 years old. My younger son is very clever but my older is not good at expressing himself. Additionally, my older son hates when his younger brother outdoes him. I am worried about how to do activities with my older son. I want to do their activities separately, but my home environment does not make this possible. Now, I do activities with them at the same time. Do you have any suggestions for how to do activities focused on my older son without upsetting my younger son?

 

【A】 Even if you were an expert at child rearing, you would have difficulties doing simultaneous activities with your children. Try to create an environment in which you can, even for a short time, watch each son. For example, while your husband takes care of your younger son, you can do activities with your older son. Or perhaps one of your neighbors could look after your children separately for 30 minutes each. Please think of various ways that you can arrange your sons’ activities.

In addition, it is good to make each activity a habit and part of your sons’ daily rhythms. For example, you can guide them in activities by saying to them, “It’s your older brother’s turn.” “It’s ○○(your son’s name) turn now.” After finishing your older son’s activities, you should satisfy him by praising him sincerely. Next, do activities with your younger son. He will understand that you communicate with him after you finish your older son’s activities; when they are relaxed, both of them will be able to do activities. You may be having difficulties with the activities because you say, “my home environment does not make ____ possible.” However, you do not have to bring up your children by yourself. Ask other family members or your friends for their help and positively imagine activities as you carry them out with your sons.

I have to stop activities sometimes because my younger child cries.

【Q】 My younger daughter is 4 months old. When I have my older son do Shichida Method activities, if my younger child cries, I have to stop what we are doing. My older child is 3 years old and says, “Oh, she is crying. Please nurse her. I will wait for you.” However, even when we restart the activities, they do not go well because my son has lost his concentration. In this case, what should I do?

 

【A】 Your older child is very kind. Treasure his kindness and the fact that he waits until you finish taking care of your daughter. When you finish with your daughter, praise your son for waiting for you and his kindness by saying to him, “You said to me, ‘GO take care of her,’ so she is much happier now. Thank you very much.” You will be able to satisfy your son and create a relationship with him. If he trusts you and improves his relationship with you, he will be to smoothly receive what you are working on and he will understand quickly. This will lead to good results.

How should I communicate with my three children?

【Q】 I have 3 children: a 3-year-old boy, a 2-year-old boy, and a 1-year-old girl. I want to make my first son’s activities much more solid, but I can do this well. I am strict with him sometimes because I want him to be a good older brother. This is why he often rebels against me. For example, when things do not go as he expects, he often slaps his siblings or cries terribly. How should I communicate with him?

 

【A】 When raising siblings, you should give priority to your first son and make his activities fulfilling. He is often forced to endure things “because he is the older brother”, however, this leads to jealousy of his siblings, his rebelling against you and his lack of ability to listen to you. Some parents tend to feel sorry for their other children because they force them to endure and do not cherish them. However, younger siblings will learn from their older brother. They will also learn naturally to respect their elders by allowing their older brother to take priority.

Ask your eldest son to help you with something easy. After he finishes it, praise him sincerely. When you ask him to help, you will be able to naturally create ways to praise him. In addition, please convey your love to your son by giving him tight hugs for 8 seconds. He will be satisfied. When you give him priority on the things you are working on and sincerely convey your love to him, your problems will be solved. Then, he will be able to obediently listen to you and show kindness toward his siblings. Please realize that there the sources of the problems are things in his mind that are not yet satisfied. If your son grows kinder, everything will be all right. It is important to give him your priority.

I am worried about how to tell my daughter that her younger brother has a mental disability.

【Q】 My younger child’s (a 3-year-old boy) development is delayed. Our doctor says that he has mental disability. I have not told my daughter (5 years old) about it but she seems to realize that he is a little different. Is it ok to not tell her? (I imagine that my son will be able to catch up to other children in the future.)

 

【A】 It is so hard to accept that your son has a mental disability, but when you accept your son, your older daughter will also be able to will communicate with him naturally. In order to help her be able to do so, it is important to look at your son’s good points, and to tell your daughter about them, for example, “○○(his name) is developing a little slowly but he is very kind.” All children are perfect. In addition, if parents encourage their children’s growth by doing activities with them, they will improve to 2 or 3 times their current abilities. The possibilities are infinite. In some cases, children who are handicapped grow up to be healthy through continued practice with the Shichida Method. Now those children rank first or second in their classrooms. These cases are not rare within the Shichida Method.

What activities can I do with my 2 children who have physical impediments?

【Q】 My 4th grade son is mildly autistic (he can say some words but he cannot communicate with others) and my 5th grade daughter has an impediment which makes it difficult for her to communicate with people. (The doctor has said that she has high-functioning autism.) I have great difficulty raising them. If I take care of either child, the other will be left alone. I continually face the dilemma in which I cannot communicate with them as I hope to. Even if they are minimal, I want to do effective activities with them. But what should I do so that the activities are effective for them at the same time?

 

【A】 Focus on cards and picture-story boards. Think of activities that are suitable for each situation. Flash cards or picture-story cards are easy to do with your children at the same time. There are many easy activities that you can do with them together such as drawing or coloring activities or using intellectual educational toys. Search for activities that to some extent either of your children can do independently, while you help your other child smoothly do something.

Also, everyday you have to make space within your limited time for activities. Therefore you should not feel that you have to do the same activities for each child everyday. It is ok if you only have one-on-one time with each child every other day. In this case, let the child you are not working with do what he/she likes and take as much time as possible to do activities with your other child. While either of your children is sleeping, do activities with the other child. In this way, depending on the situation, make time for each of your children.

Chapter II

Activities for the Right Brain

I do various activities with my daughter, but I cannot bring out her right brain abilities. I do not know how to bring out these abilities

【Q】 I use various Shichida teaching materials with my daughter. She is 4 years 3 months old. However, I do not feel that I can bring out her right brain abilities. I do not know what to do with her in the future. Please give me some advice.

 

【A】 You should focus on 2 things during activities. One is having her imagine and the other is developing her right brain memorization. Regarding imaging, it is important to have your daughter meditate, do controlled breathing, image and reproduce what she saw in her image. In order to help her do these things, you should have her talk about what she has imagined or express it in a picture or written sentences.

In order to develop her memorization ability, do memorization games that use her imagination. After showing her 3 cards, turn them over. Guide her to say them correctly. Increase the number of cards to 5, 10, 15…have her then produce these things from her memory.

Because you did enough input, you will see how much she progresses when she does output activities. We recommend that you concentrate on playing cards during activities to develop her memorization. In this way, you will find that as she plays, she uses her right brain memorization and enjoys right brain activities.

My son is already 5 years old. Do I have enough time to bring out his right brain abilities?

【Q】 My son is 5 years old. Since just before he turned 3 years old, he started attending a Shichida school and has done activities at home. I have done left-brain activities with him without the pre-lesson or image training for about 2 years. I feel that I have not yet been able to bring out his right brain abilities. Do I have enough time to bring out these abilities? What should I place priority on?

 

【A】 Develop your son’s right brain aptitude by using a pre-lesson or memorization training. Right brain activities have no relationship with age. No matter how old he is you just have to have your son learn with his right brain in the same way. Learning with the right brain means using images. In order to have him use his images, activate his right brain by doing a pre-lesson (meditation, controlled breathing, positive suggestions, imaging) and creating a feeling of oneness between you and your son. Activities are different according to your child’s age; however, activities have no right or left brain distinction. There is a difference though between which brain children use when they do an activity. For example, if they are learning English, music, or exercise and priority is given to their right brain, these activities are for the right brain. If they learn these activities giving priority to the left brain, then these activities are for the left brain. Before you have your son learn something, you should begin by having him meditate, do controlled breathing and imaging. Then, have him start the activity.

In addition, you should have him do memorization training. If you have him remember the content of a book by having him read it many times (recite it), he will obtain “perfect memorization” in which he can remember the contents perfectly. After he remembers it to some extent, you should have him recite it rapidly. When he recites it rapidly, he will improve the quality of his brain and his ability to remember something perfectly. Rather than increasing the amount of what he should memorize, it is important to have him say what he memorized as rapidly as possible. In order to develop his right brain memorization, you should not place priority on providing your son with knowledge. It is more important to improve the quality of his brain. Repetition and rapid learning change the quality of memorization. Your son will be able to learn spontaneously. Please treasure activities that, through memorization training and the development of his imagination, increase your son’s right brain aptitude.

I am late in starting the Shichida Method. I am afraid that I will not be able to see any results…

【Q】 My daughter is the 1st grade. She first encountered Shichida Method when she was almost 5 years old. She has no creativity because she did not receive a Shichida Method education from a young age. I worry about this. Even if I start the Shichida Method late, can I bring out her abilities? What should I be careful of and what kind of things should I do?

 

【A】 It is never too late for a person to grow. How can we activate the right brain that everyone possesses? Even adults can activate their right brains so it will depend on your efforts. Activate your daughter’s right brain as you enjoy activities and continue them with patience. At first, activate her right brain by having her image and do ESP games (right brain’s 5 senses). Tie in photographic memory, speed-reading and dot activities. In this way, she will be able to easily obtain calculation skill and perfect pitch. Usually, we use our left brain. But when we think of or create something, we enter the consciousness of our right brains, and through relaxation, are able to see images. Then just as in the image, it is possible to improve our ability to create something. Our creativity also develops.

At first, you should focus on doing the pre-lesson well. This includes oneness, meditation, controlled breathing and positive suggestions. After these things, you should do image training. Then, move on to ESP or memorization games. The main principle in drawing out right brain abilities is enjoying activities. So begin with activities that she enjoys and patiently continue them.

My daughter seems to have an imaginary friend. What should I do?

【Q】 I have a 4-year-old daughter. Since she was 3 and a half, she started saying that she plays with her 2 imaginary friends. She says that her friends live far away and that she will never allow us to meet them. I adapt myself to her story by saying “I see.” Sometimes I ask her questions about them. Is it okay to let her freely imagine?

 

【A】 Your daughter’s friends are evidence that she can bring out her right brain abilities. Listen to her without denying her story. It doesn’t matter that she has imaginary friends. It is well known that when some geniuses were infants they saw invisible people. Your daughter is displaying the same behavior as some geniuses did when they were infants.

When children can bring out their right brain abilities and imagine, have them actually use their images everyday. For example, before a swimming competition, have your daughter practice swimming only after having her imagine. Say to her, “You can become a dolphin and swim smoothly. You can get your best time.” When she cannot complete a puzzle well, you should have her image, saying to her, “It’s alright. Next time you will complete it.” If she imagines herself doing something well, and then actually does it, she will be able to achieve the results she imagined. The right brain is called the image brain. Accept her imagination and use it effectively. Get interested in her stories and listen to them without denying them. Tell her that her imaginary friends’ will help her when she is sick or troubled.

My daughter seems to have her imaginary friend

【Q】 My daughter is 3 years 3 months old. Two weeks ago, she made an imaginary friend, “Eriko-chan”. She talks to her imaginary friend sometimes. I am quiet while she is taking with her imaginary friend because she scolds me if I interrupt her, “Now, I’m talking to Eriko-chan!” Is it okay to let her imagine?

 

【A】 Your daughter seems to have a highly developed imagination. She is using her imagination and entering her imaginary world. It is wonderful to develop your daughter’s abundant imagination and her ability to imagine well. Never think about this negatively. If you hold a negative image of your daughter, she will feel this image and it will have bad effects on her. You should never have a negative image of your daughter but instead, enrich her image sometimes by joining in her story.

However, make a promise with her. The promise is that she should talk with her imaginary friend only at home. As time goes by, she will understand and be able to distinguish between the places where she can talk with her imaginary friend. You should think about her in a positive way such as, “She is growing up to be a child with an abundant imagination.”

My son is always in his imaginary world, and he tends to forget promises.

【Q】 My oldest son (5 years old, final year in kindergarten, born in January) loves to pretend. However, recently, his teacher said to me, “He should come back to the real world sometimes.” During this summer holiday, there was a camp for children. However, I heard that he was always missing when the children had to gather together. When I asked him about it, he said, “I wanted to get a drink of water. I went to see ○○.” I also heard that he talked with his doll when it was bedtime. His friends often warn him. However, I am worried about him because he will enter elementary school next year.

 

【A】 Teach your son about the importance of promises using both images and theory. Use pretending games effectively. For example, pretend you are at a camp and that, for example, “We promised to gather when the bell rang, but ○○(his name) went to look at a cicada. Everyone is worried about you because you didn’t come. It will be time to leave soon.” Say to him clearly, “Even if only one child is late, everyone will be troubled because they will all be late. Everyone will worry about you and will look for you.”

Have him imagine positively that everyone praises him. Help your son understand, using theory and images, the importance of keeping promises and cooperating with people.

I started image training with my daughter, but she can imagine only normal things

【Q】 I started image training with my daughter (3 years 10 months) but when I ask her, “What do you think is in the box?”, she immediately says, “I don’t know.” I try to help her imagine by saying, “Anything is ok. Let’s imagine,” but she says she can’t. Even when she is able to imagine an apple, her image is normal, for example a red apple is “sweet” and a green apple is “sour”. I think I should accept her as she is but I wonder if it is possible for her to imagine something more childlike or amazing. Can’t I develop her ability to imagine something interesting?

 

【A】 Try going back to the basics and do a clear pre-lesson with her. In order to help lead her to be able to imagine, begin by transforming her brain waves into alpha waves. After conveying your love to her and a sense of oneness with her through the pre-lesson (meditation and controlled breathing), and once she is relaxed enough, help her enjoy imagining by telling her a story. For example, “You can see a butterfly. The butterfly is flitting about. The butterfly is flying away.”

Also, after showing her a picture book or photo, if you guide her in imagining, you can tell her a detailed story. Write down the contents of what you want her to reproduce after imagining and while she is imagining, tell them to her.

My son often talks about his imaginary cat.

【Q】 My 3-year-old son has talked about his imaginary cat for a few months. However, he seems to truly see it because he says reasonable things whenever I ask him about it. He says it always stays with him and protects him. I am troubled by how to relate to him.

 

【A】 Children often say these types of things when they are at a right brain age. The things children see in their images, like your son’s cat, are “counselors in the head.” Within his image, the cat truly exists.

Among children who have imaginary friends, some say that their friends tell them the answers they don’t know on kanji [Chinese character] tests or give them advice. You do not have to worry about your son because his imaginary friend’s mind is pure. Contrary to your worries, his cat is evidence that he can use his right brain naturally. Believe completely in your son’s right brain abilities. Have him use his imagination in various situations. Tell your son that if he asks the cat to cure him when he has a cold, it will cure him quickly.

What should I do to make image training more fun?

【Q】 I lead my son during image training to imagine that he is a baby, back in my womb. But he has started to hate doing so. Does he hate imagining this situation? Or is there another reason?

 

【A】 Basically, for children, the memory of their mother’s womb should be a very good and comfortable one. However, the reason why your son hates to imagine this may be that he does not clearly feel your love. More than anything, you need to treasure your son sincerely and as you give him tight hugs, convey positive images into his subconscious. Tell him that you think he is your treasure by doing Five-Minute-Suggestions. If you can convey your love to him, and the bonds between you get stronger, your son will be able to enjoy imagining that he is an unborn baby again.

How can I do image training with my two children at the same time?

【Q】 I have 3-year-old twins: one is a boy and the other is a girl. I have never done serious image training with them. I think that it is about time to start but it is difficult to do it with them at the same time…I cannot easily do it for each child. What should I do?

 

【A】 It is not as easy as you might imagine to do activities with siblings. If you don’t have time for each child separately, think of ways in which they can enjoy doing activities together. There are various ways to do image training and you should begin with activities that your children can enjoy doing together. First, start with imitation or imagination games. Children love games in which they can decide on various settings or can be various characters. These games are good right brain training.

For example, have your children move their bodies freely to music or lead them to imitate a butterfly by saying, “Look, a butterfly is flying. Let’s imitate it.” Your children will join in the game. When you show them that you are pleased with them, their interests will develop. At first, you should just enjoy imagination games. Then, if they are able to follow these, you should talk with them further, “Look! Over there is a beautiful flowerbed. The flowers smell very good.” Play games without having your children think too seriously. In addition to having them move their bodies, image training can also be having your children freely draw pictures. It is also good to have them freely create something using the objects around them.

In image training, my daughter wants to take the initiative.

【Q】 I cannot tell stories to my daughter well. I am not good at imagining. But she seems to love imagining so much. She often enters her imaginary world and plays alone. I join her games sometimes when she invites me to play. At these times, she always takes the lead. Is this ok?

 

【A】 It is ok to proceed with image training keeping your daughter as the focus. If you are not good at imagining, alter your technique by using picture books and having her join the story or use small items, play music CDs or childrens’ songs, or use perfume. She will be able to enter imaginary worlds more easily.

Image play is a type of pretending game. Even if you cannot see or hear, you only have to pretend to see or hear. In order to make it more real, add many types of stimuli into the images such as color, shape, or things the five senses utilize (sight, hearing, feeling, taste, smell). In order for your daughter to be able to easily imagine things, you should give her suggestions like, “You can see ○○. You can hear ○○. It tastes like ○○. It smells like ○○.” You can bring out the imagination that she has had since birth by having her use her five senses. Develop her image by asking her various questions about it like, “What can you see? Then, what happened? Where is it?” If she can write or draw, have her draw a picture of her image or write a story about it. She will enjoy drawing her image and the story will create a wonderful image composition.

Also, you should not have her continue imagining only when you are playing, but also lead her to be able to use images in her real life. When she does anything, you should have her first imagine that she has achieved it. For example, if she is playing the piano, have her imagine that she is playing well.

I want to know how to do image training.

【Q】 Only 3 months have passed since I started using the Shichida Method at home. Now, as a part of my children’s routine we do English, flash dot and picture cards and POP Kids. They enjoy these things as part of their daily games. I do not do image training with my children because my older child is 3 years old and my younger child is 1. Please tell me how to do image training with children these ages.

 

【A】 You should try to do image training with your children everyday. It may be difficult for them to do image training together because one child is 3 years old and the other is 1 year.

There are 3 basic types of image training:

①Image exercises in which children move their body to music and imagine that they are some type of animal

②Making up a story or changing the main character of a famous story to one of your children and telling a fictional story

③After image training using, for example, an orange card.

You only have to do one of these types of training. Try beginning with what your children are able to do, depending on their condition that day. Controlled breathing is a secret to image training. Three-year-old children can do controlled breathing. Before having your older child imagine, have him or her practice controlled breathing (Balloon Breathing) so he or she can exhale as long as possible and breathe in as well. With your younger child, focus on image exercises.

Also, a sense of oneness between parents and children is very important to image training. Before doing activities, communicate with your children through your heart by holding them in your arms and making physical contact with them.

Do you have any activities for afterimage training?

【Q】 I do after image training with my elementary school aged daughter, but we cannot easily get to the step in which we can see the correct color of the afterimage. She seems to dislike the training a little because she cannot sense her progress. What should I do?

 

【A】 Since she cannot easily see an afterimage in the correct color and is repeating the same thing, your daughter has become bored. It is important to guide her to be able to see the correct color afterimage, but it is also important for her to be able to keep the image for a long time. At first, help her keep the afterimage she sees. It is also good to time how long this is. Then, have her image that the circle changes into another color or shape. Even if she still sees an afterimage in the complementary color, it is ok. In this way, even if the color of her afterimage is a complementary color, you can develop her imagination.

Then, you should make a fun story. Any story is ok. For example, if she can see an orange afterimage, you can make a story like, “The number of orange dots increases and they become tangerines. Ears, eyes, noses, mouths, arms and feet grow out of the tangerines. Then they go on a trip to various towns…” She can join in making the story if you ask her some questions, “What kind of place is it? What do you see around you,” etc. and she will enjoy the activity. In image training, you do not have to use the orange card all the time. Mix it in with other activities as well.

About image training output

【Q】 After image training, I ask my son what he has seen in his image, but he is unable to explain it well.

 

【A】 Even if children can imagine various things, if they have a small vocabulary or they haven’t developed their self-expression, sometimes they cannot explain their images well. Parents then think that children can only see ordinary images. You should not do only image training with your son but also read various books to him. He will gain vocabulary and expressive ability and will be able to explain his images well.

Also, he can draw a picture of the image that you and he imagine together. Drawing a picture makes images visible. You can check to see what he imagines.

How can I do image training with my baby?

【Q】 I recently became a new mother. I heard that we should do image training with children from the time they are 0 or 1 year old. How should I do this?

 

【A】 At first, hold your baby in your arms. It is necessary for babies to feel a sense of oneness with their mother.

Babies can understand their mother’s feelings easily. As you hold your baby, you should do a pre-lesson (meditation, controlled breathing, suggestions) before doing image training. Your brain waves will synchronize with your baby’s and their ability to resonant will develop. You can convey your image to your baby by then doing image training.

I am troubled because my daughter is negative. For example, she says, “I don’t believe I can do this.”

【Q】 Recently, even if I say to my 5-year-old daughter, “Let’s imagine that you become a tiny person and jump into a book,” she says, “That’s impossible, isn’t it?” She is negative about imagining. What should I do?

 

【A】 Try to do what she is interested in like playing guessing or imagination games. Probably, her left brain is developing smoothly. Change the contents of the image training according to your daughter’s growth and interests. Guessing games are suitable for children about five years old. Put something in a box and have her guess what it is. At the time, lead her to easily imagine by saying to her, “Let’s put on glasses that let you see anything and look through the box.” She may also enjoy imagining becoming her favorite character or hero. Finally, she will enjoy playing games in which you pretend to be at school or a restaurant and imagine that she is a teacher, student or chef.

Say to her, “Let’s do our ritual before imagining,” and do the pre-lesson including meditation, controlled breathing and suggestions. During the activity it is important to tell her that she can be anything through imagining and that it is easy to imagine.

My son’s image training is imaginary play.

【Q】 I do image training with my son because I want him to be able to image and bring out his right brain abilities. However, whenever he imagines that he becomes a tiny person, the tiny person changes into Ultra Man, a character he loves. Image training ends up being an imaginary game of Ultra Man. Is this ok?

 

【A】 Having children pretend to become or play something they like is the most natural type of image work to lead children in. Use what your son likes and have him imagine freely. You should develop his image by adding some words to his images. Don’t have his game end up just being a pretending game, but greatly develop his imagination and help it lead to great right brain abilities. Have him close his eyes and say to him that he can see any image he wants to see.

For example, if he loves running, have him imagine that he becomes Ultra Man and can run faster than a monster. If he loves music, have him imagine that Ultra Man sings a song and everyone claps for him. Actually, you only have to use his image. It is also good to have him imagine that he becomes a tiny Ultra Man and enters someone’s body. Have him imagine that he explores or cures someplace bad in that person’s body.

We can use images for everything in our life such as drawing pictures or playing sports. Originally, children have this ability to image. If they feel they are clearly loved, they can create a strong, reliable relationship with their parents and they will be relaxed, allowing the ability to develop. Please treasure this trusting relationship between you and your son more than any other thing and together with your son, enjoy using his images.

My son cannot imagine anything.

【Q】 My son will be 4 years old soon. I do image training with him but I cannot lead him to image well because I think he might not understand what imaging is. Even when he shows a reaction, in order to please me, he half-heartedly says a few words and is finished. He likes to play pretend or imitation games using some items but he does not seem to understand that he should be creating a clear image in his head.

 

【A】 Playing pretend and imitation games are good types of image training. You just have to lead your son to imagine your words by saying, for example, “I will be a rabbit, so please be a squirrel. Then, let’s go to the forest. Oh, an animal appeared by the tree. What is it?” In this way, please develop the story together. He will be able to play in his imaginary world.

Children naturally like to imagine. Don’t wonder if your son can truly imagine but rather enjoy playing pretend together.

Before image training, I cannot do the pre-lesson well.

【Q】 My daughter is very active and energetic, but she is also restless. She cannot do meditation or controlled breathing before image training. I am worried because she is also restless during the pre-lesson.

 

【A】 First, calm her down by holding her in your arms or stroking her head. You should do activities after calming her down. If she doesn’t let you do these things because she is embarrassed, you don’t have to do them. It is most important to relax her. In order to advance right brain activities well, it is best to create a trusting relationship between you and your daughter and help her enjoy the activities.

If you cannot do these things in the daytime, lie down before she goes to sleep at night and read a picture book to her when she is relaxed. After that, close the book and you have her imagine what will happen next. Think about when you are both relaxed and do activities at that time.

What does pre-lesson mean?

【Q】 I know that it is good to do mediation, controlled breathing, and suggestions before activities, but I cannot do them well. Also, do I need to do them before every activity?

【A】 The biggest reason for doing meditation, controlled breathing and suggestions (pre-lesson) is to relax and make our brain waves into alpha waves. We recommend that you do the pre-lesson because, when a person is relaxed, his or her right brain can be activated and the brain waves transformed to alpha waves. When your child feels it is a burden to do the pre-lesson, you do not have to do it. If your child continues to feel stress, his or her right brain functions will also decrease. Even if you do not do the pre-lesson correctly, as you hold your child in your arms and pat his or her head, please say to him or her, “I love ○○(your child’s name) so much. Let’s have fun playing together.” In this way, your child will be relieved and relaxed. Your child’s right brain will work. You do not have to do the pre-lesson before every activity, but if you have time, please try to do it.

My son’s friend’s mother does not understand my son’s imaging.

【Q】 My son is 3 years old. He often pretends to eat invisible snacks in his images. I also enjoy doing this with him when I drive but his friend’s mother doesn’t seem to understand this.

 

【A】 It is great that you and your son enjoy imagining. All children play with images when they are little in games like pretend or imitation play. However, some adults cannot understand the power of images. You should tell your son to imagine when no one is around him or to use the power of images when he needs them. If you absolutely believe in his right brain capabilities without paying attention to what other parents think, his ability will develop. Please communicate with him positively by saying to him, “It is wonderful that you can see images.”

In ESP games, my child gets disappointed when he cannot guess correctly.

【Q】 I do telepathy games with my children using Shichida Method materials. My younger child (3 years old) can guess about most of the things but my older child (5 years old) cannot. I know it is not important for them to guess correctly or not but I wonder why my older child cannot do it even though I do the same thing with both of them. My older child gets disappointed because he is the only one who cannot guess. What should I say to him and what should I think?

 

【A】 Younger children can guess more easily in ESP games. After 3 years old, the older a child is, the more difficulty he or she will have guessing because the function of the brain changes from the right brain to the left brain. In order to transfer the function of the brain from the left to the right, it is necessary to do meditation, controlled breathing and imaging. For your older child, who is over 5 years, you should have him close his eyes and take 3 slow, deep breaths. Then, have him imagine that he goes back to when he was a baby. Do a rehearsal in his image, where he can increasingly guess correctly in ESP games. If your son plays ESP games after this, he will be able to guess easier.

After doing meditation and controlled breathing, have your child imagine that he goes back to before he was born by saying, “Now, ○○, you are in my womb and you are a little, unborn baby.” If you do ESP games with your son after conveying your love and having him feel a sense of oneness with you, your son will be able to guess well. Say to him, “I love ○○(your child’s name) so much. You always stay with me.”

When my son cannot guess in ESP games, he gets sullen.

【Q】 My 4-year-old son can often guess correctly in ESP games during his lesson, but recently, he can never guess correctly. He feels frustrated by it and cries terribly. Whenever he does ESP games in his lesson, I think, “I hope he can guess today.” If he does some training, will he be able to guess correctly? Although he practices guessing at home, I sometimes tell him the answer. If he cannot immediately guess, he quickly gets upset.

 

【A】 Children can guess correctly in ESP games when their waves synchronize with the object’s waves. It is important to convey your love to your son, giving him a tight hug and making your heart synchronize with his. When he does ESP games, relax him by giving him a tight hug and conveying your love to him. Then, say to him, “You can see it because you have a third eye.” If you remember this method, and he practices, he will be able to guess perfectly.

Children’s brains, up to 3 years old, work by giving priority to the right brain. But children cannot guess without doing anything since at around 4 years old the brain’s functions move to the left brain. If you have your son close his eyes and calm down, work can move from his left to his right brain. Say to him, “You can see it with your third eye,” and he will be able to guess well. Please try this.

When my student cannot guess in ESP games, what should I do?

【Q】 Some students lose motivation when they cannot guess correctly in ESP games. I tell the student that the purpose is not to be able to guess correctly. Do you have any other ways to support them?

 

【A】 You should say some words to support children who were unable to guess correctly. For example, if a child chooses a triangle on a card when he should have chosen a circle, find a way to support him so that he will not hate ESP games. Say to him, “I know ○○ like triangles. So, you chose this card? Next, let’s choose the circle card.” It is also good to give the child suggestions like, “Next, you will choose the circle card.”

I want to improve the percentage of my child’s correct ESP answers.

【Q】 Do you know any effective ways to improve the percentage of my child’s correct ESP answers?

 

【A】 In order to improve the percentage of children’s correct answers in ESP, oneness between parents and children, pre-lesson, and image training are important. The following techniques are also effective:

①Using items related to daily life

(ex:Toys, cards or snacks)

②Using things children are interested in

(ex:Popular characters or their favorite cars)

③Something which children can strongly compare

If you have your child do ESP using food cards, prepare cards: one is your child’s favorite food card and the others are food cards your child hates (or vice versa). If you prepare the cards, your child can clearly compare things like sweet or bitter, cold or hot, etc. and the percentage of his or her correct answers will go up.

The children seem to get bored of ESP.

【Q】 I always do ESP for children using cards but they seem to be getting bored of it. Do you have any ways to deal with this?

 

【A】 You can prevent the children from getting bored of ESP by changing the kind of cards. Then, in ESP games, you should use not only cards, but also real items (ex. make a toy of their favorite snack and a small box. Then, have the child guess what kind of snack is in the box.)

Please tell me how to proceed with Dots.

【Q】 I enjoy doing Dots together with my son who is 1 year 6 months old but we stop them sometimes. Recently, when I say to him, “Let’s do Dots,” he brings the Dots Set box saying, “Dochu, Dochu.” I showed him blue dot cards but he never looked at the cards. Then, I changed the cards into picture dot cards. When he looks at the apples on the dot cards, he pretends to eat an apple, saying “apple”. When he looks at the ducks on the dot cards, he says, “Quack, quack.” Is it ok to keep doing this?

 

【A】 When you show him picture dot cards, he says the name of the object. Move on to the next card by saying to him, “OK. What is next? Let’s look at it.” Even if children see dots a few times, their circuits will be activated. It is thought that if a child understands the dot cards from 1 to 10 he can understand the numbers up to 100. But it is most important for you and your son to enjoy dots. When we feel something is fun, our right brain begins working. Arrange the way you show the dot cards and proceed in a fun way because the most effective way to show your son dot cards is when he is willing to look at the cards.

How should I do Dot activities?

【Q】 I have done the Shichida Dot Set, handmade dot cards and dot videos from the time my daughter was 1 year old until she was 3. However, the percentage of her correct answers in the “Which Game” remains low and she says she does not know the answer. Please give me some advice about what kind of activities I should do with her in the future.

 

【A】 Continue patiently matching dots with numbers. You should also flash dot cards. On the other hand, you should do image training or ESP games so that she can imagine colors and shapes. If she enjoys image training, do image dots with her. Image dots are for children to calculate the dots they see in their image, without using cards. In order to have her be able to do this, it is important to guide your daughter to see images freely. In image dots, you should convey the image dots from 1 to 10 to her saying, “I will send you 3 dots in my image. If you can see them please let me know.” Then, have her do addition or subtraction problems, with answers up to 5. Say to her, “One dot is added and then there are 4 dots.” Finally, have her change the dots into numbers by saying to her, “Eight dots appear. They all come together and change quickly into the number 8.” Using these methods, enjoy image dots. Her answers will emerge following these steps: question à dots à number à answer.

Then, her right brain will connect with her left brain and, by continuing writing training and flashing dot cards, she will be able to do the calculations using her right brain. You should also have her practice writing numbers. Children who are over 3 years old transfer priority from their right brains to their left. In order to guide your daughter’s brain to function at the right brain level, be sure to do the pre-lesson before beginning activities.

When I stop doing Dots for awhile, what should I do?

【Q】 I stopped Dots part of the way through the curriculum. Should I start again from the beginning?

 

【A】 If you stopped doing Dots within the last 2 months, you can start again from the place you left off. However, if you stopped over 3 months ago, you should quickly review from the beginning of the curriculum and then continue from the place you left off.

What kinds of Dot activities are there for my older child?

【Q】 My child will be 6 years old soon. Even if I start Dots with my son now, can he obtain Dots ability?

 

【A】 After children are over 6 years old, the priority of their brain function gradually shifts from the right brain to the left. When older children do Dot training, please do the pre-lesson (meditation, controlled breathing, suggestions) and image training (achievement images where they can see the answers) first before beginning your activity. Do the activity after transferring priority over to the right brain. If your son does the pre-lesson and image training steadily, he can catch up with other children.

Even when my daughter makes a mistake on Dot worksheets, I leave them unfinished…

【Q】 I do Dot activities with my daughter. She completed the curriculum and now does the worksheets. Even when she makes mistakes on the worksheets, I do not tell her the correct answers and just leave the worksheet uncorrected. Is this ok?

 

【A】 Input the correct answers with her and do image dots. In order to make Dots a useful ability, it is necessary to input the correct questions and answers have her establish them in her mind. When she makes mistakes, you should not just set aside the worksheet and hide the answers. If she makes mistakes, show her the correct answers, saying to her, “This is the answer.”

The basis for obtaining Dot ability is seeing the answers in an image. At first, have your daughter close her eyes and imagine the dots. If you say to her, “Close your eyes and you will see 3 dots. Can you see the dots?” and she answers, “Yes, I can,” then say to her, “Next, those 3 dots will change into the number 3. Can you see the number?” If she answers, “Yes, I can,” say to her, “2 more dots are added to the 3, and now you will see 5 dots.” In this way, have her do image dots. Include image dot activities so that your daughter can make Dots a useful ability and so that she is able to have fun with the worksheets.

My son extremely detests making mistakes.

【Q】 My son (5 years old) hates making mistakes. One month has passed since I started Dot Cards, but when I do the “Which Game”, he cannot easily choose the correct answer. I say to him, “You can make a mistake.” But when he chooses the wrong cards, he gets angry or cries. He doesn’t want to stop playing until he can choose the correct answer.

Also, I started English activities around the same period as Dots. I have played the CD and he can recite 4 pages (80 words) of a book. I am really moved by it and I try to praise him often. I want him to have more confidence and even if he makes a mistake, I want him to be able to act as he hopes to (because even when he makes a mistake, next time he can try his best again). What should I do?

 

【A】 Checking to see if he can understand Dots by playing the “Which Game” is a test to him. Please don’t play the game yet because it is difficult for children who have been doing Dots for just one month. He can enjoy and easily remember English because he is relaxed when he does it. You should do the Dot program three times, but if he still makes mistakes often, please don’t play the “Which Game”, just continue with the program.

Show him his favorite cards or think of some rewards, like a hug after Dots, so that he will say, “I like looking at Dots.”

Is it better to flash Dot cards with my daughter or have her watch the video?

【Q】 Is it better to flash Dot cards or other cards with my daughter or have her watch the videos? When I have her watch the videos, she begins doing something else immediately…

 

【A】 Videos tend to repeat the same things. Watching a video can be a simple activity. If parents keep having children watch the same things, they will get bored immediately. Depending on your daughter’s condition, she may be a little bored of the videos. If you use the videos well, they can be a very good teaching material. You can use them. However, you should mainly flash cards with her and have her watch the videos within your normal card activities. Please arrange your activities so that you don’t repeat the same things. Use the videos as effective teaching materials to alter your card activities.

I increased the amount of time we do Dot activities.

【Q】 My son likes Dot activities. Also, I strongly hope that he can obtain Dot Computer ability. So I use more time to do Dot activities than other right brain activities. Is this ok?

 

【A】 You do not have to worry too much because other right brain abilities will emerge when your son develops Dot Computer ability.

The right brain has 6 abilities:

(1. ESP  2. Eidetic Imagery  3. Computer ability  4. Perfect Pitch  5. Language Acquisition ability  6. Healing ability)

These 6 abilities are not independent. They are related to each other. If you can draw out one of these abilities, the other abilities will appear. It is just like when you pick up the center of a handkerchief, drawing the other parts up as well.

However, in order to bring out Computer ability in right brain, it is important to give your son other good right brain stimuli. He cannot bring out his Dot ability by only doing Dots. He will bring out the ability through other stimuli as well. In other words, in order to succeed in Dots, continue other right brain activities like flashing picture cards and memorization training. Other right brain activities also have good effects on Dot ability.

About the model Dot program

【Q】 How many times should I do the model Dot program?

 

【A】 Repeat it at least 3 times. Arrange the ways you show the cards in the same cycle. For example, make the speed faster or change the questions or sequences. It is important to repeat the program but please try to think of various ways to show the cards. Remember to use many fun ways to show the cards to your child, not just the ones included in the program.

 

【Q】 I repeated the model Dot program 3 times. What should I do in the future?

 

【A】 Begin by moving what your child input in his or her right brain into the left brain by completing “Which” worksheets. Then, guide your child to be able to see answers in his or her images by doing image dots. In addition, show and input many calculation cards with your child so that he or she can answer difficult questions immediately. It is important for your child to read or write numbers using his or her left brain.

For your child to be able to show right brain Dot ability, he or she should connect what is in his or her right brain with the left brain.

If I show my daughter the wrong Dot cards, what should I do?

【Q】 I discovered that I showed my daughter the wrong Dot cards. I showed her my handmade Dot cards and said “20”, but I counted the number of the dots and realized there were only 19. In this case, what should I do?

 

【A】 Show her the card with the correct answer again. When you flash Dot Cards, be careful to make the number of dots equal to the number you say aloud. Also, even if the number of dots matches the number you say, if you cover up some dots with your hand, the wrong information will be input. Be careful of this. Prepare for and check your Dot activities.

If my son dislikes doing Dots, what should I do?

【Q】 My son and I were able to do Dots because he seemed to like them. However, recently he dislikes doing them. This may be because we do it everyday. Do you have any suggestions?

 

【A】 If you continue doing only Dot activities, he will be bored of them. It is ok to stop the activities for a while. Also, there are ways to make the activities more fun. Put his favorite character as the top Dot card. He will be interested if you say to him, “○○(the character’s name) is calling your name. He/She says that he/she wants to do Dots with you. He/She is going to tell you about Dots.” You can also arrange the cards in various ways such as making unique cards.

What should I do if my daughter hates the Dots “Which Game”?

【Q】 When my daughter repeatedly chooses the wrong cards in the Dots “Which Game”, she loses her motivation.

 

【A】 Mix in easy cards (with a few dots) so that she will be able to answer correctly during the “Which Game”. If she can choose the right card, praise her sincerely. In this way, as you give her the joy of answering correctly, you can develop her motivation.

What should I do if my child’s Dot ability does not emerge?

【Q】 I have done Dot activities many times, but my son cannot acquire rapid calculation ability. I think I have done Dot activities according to the manual. Have I failed in Dots?

 

【A】 We never fail in Dots. Most Dot abilities appear suddenly. Believe in your son’s ability and continue the activities.

If you, or his teacher, do the activities anxiously, your son will feel the anxiety through waves and it will be more difficult to draw out his Dot ability. It is important to believe in his ability.

Also, most parents feel as if they failed in Dots because, after they input Dots with their children, they cannot see their children’s ability to produce output. In order to tie what was input into the right brain to the output of the left brain, continue Dot activities, placing importance on making time for image dots and number input.

About the way to show my son flash cards

【Q】 I try to input a lot of information into my son rapidly and I flash cards with him rapidly. But he wants to look at the cards slowly. Is it ok to show him the cards slowly?

 

【A】 It is important to flash one card per second because at this speed the right brain begins working. If you talk about the cards or explain them slowly, only your son’s left brain will work. If he still wants to look at the cards slowly, create another time to show him the cards. Also, if possible, it is better to prepare a separate set of cards to show him slowly.

What will happen if my child repeats the cards I flash?

【Q】 When I flash cards, my daughter simultaneously says some of the picture card words or the dot numbers along with me. Will there be any results from this method?

 

【A】 If she repeats the words when you flash cards, your speed will get slower. Repetition is important depending on your child’s age. Parents can show children picture cards as they say the words, and then, they can have the children say the words. They can also have children say the words first. Arrange the ways you show cards so that your daughter can concentrate on looking at the cards. For example, make a promise with her before you flash cards, “Please look at the cards quietly.” Or mix in her favorite card and say to her, “Tell me if you see your favorite card.” Also, to keep your child from becoming bored, it is necessary to alter the way you show cards by increasingly mixing in new cards.

If you do right brain activities when you feel irritated or anxious, you will not achieve any results. Try to do activities so that both you and your daughter will enjoy them.

I have my children watch the DVDs instead of flashing cards. But is it better to have them hear my voice?

【Q】 I am busy everyday bringing up my 2 children (2 years old and 0 years). I read the cards for a long time but for the past few months I have stopped and depended on the DVDs. Is it better to read the cards in my voice? Also, should I read the same cards every day? Or should I read various kinds of cards?

 

【A】 When you are busy, use the DVDs and read a book to your children. It is bad to depend on the DVDs completely, but not to use them occasionally. If you cannot make the time to flash cards because you are busy, you should use mainly the DVDs and read one or two picture books to your children. When you have time, like on a Saturday or Sunday, you should flash the cards. Do activities using your own voice as much as possible.

You should not increasingly show new cards, but instead show your children the same cards in the same sequence until they become fixed in your children’s memories. For example, if you show 100 cards in the same sequence once or twice a week, you will develop your children’s’ ability to memorize what card is next. In addition, if you assign a number to each card, you will develop children’s wonderful ability to “memorize cards by connecting pictures and numbers”.

Until what age can you flash cards?

【Q】 I have shown my son flash cards since before he was a year old. Now, he is 5 years old. I think this is the age when priority shifts to left brain function. Will I obtain any results if I keep flashing cards?

 

【A】 From the viewpoint of activating the right brain or developing instant memorization, flash cards are effective for everyone. If you show your son many cards rapidly, no matter how old he is or even if he were an adult, you would still be giving stimuli to his right brain. It is thought that if 1,000 cards are shown at one time, brain function will change. If your son is willing to look at the cards, continue steadily showing them without thinking about his age. It is important to continue the activity even just a little. If you show cards when your son enjoys looking at them, and provide his right brain with a stimulus, the work you have done up to this point will not be erased, and it will lead to results in the future.

On the other hand, inputting words is another purpose of flash cards. You should not keep showing him the cards he already remembers. Instead change them to new cards so that you increase the amount of new vocabulary or knowledge he receives. Depending on your child’s interests add in special cards and continue inputting words in an enjoyable way.

I bought most of the “Flash Cards”, but my son throws the cards. I am getting frustrated.

【Q】 My son is 1 year old. I bought most of the “Flash Cards” last year. My son looked at the cards until he started to crawl. But now that he can move around, he takes out or throws the cards. I cannot show him cards. I may give up Shichida Method. I used to think I was glad that I started early, but now I am ready to quit.

 

【A】 Maybe your son wants to imitate you. Make some cards for him and let him touch them freely. If he can touch them and understand what the cards are, he will be satisfied.

When you flash cards, arrange the situation so he cannot reach the cards、for example, show him the cards from across the table or flash cards from a higher position such as sitting on a chair. If you continue flashing cards everyday, your son will get into the habit of looking at the cards.

It is effective to flash cards just after your son wakes up or before he goes to bed because these are times when left brain function is restrained. If you prepare the cards in advance, you can flash them quickly. After he looks at the cards, praise him and hug him, saying, “Thank you for looking at the cards.” He will love flash cards because he is happy to be praised.

Please tell me how to flash picture cards.

【Q】 I showed 1600 picture cards to my 7-month-old daughter. How should I show them to her a 2nd time? I show her 10 cards per category for 5 days and then change 2 cards on the 6th day.

 

【A】 Flashing picture cards activates the right brain. It is basic training for the right brain to create circuits so that children can immediately learn what they see. At the same time, it is also an effective way in which children can connect images with words, acquire the vocabulary and activate left brain function.

The important factors in flashing cards are the “rapid speed” in which one card is flashed in less than one second, stopping at the point where the child still wants to look at more cards and the “large quantity” of cards. If your daughter looks at the cards, increase the number of cards you show by 100 or 200 cards. However, if you show her the same cards everyday, she will be bored and not look at them. Change 10% of the cards to new cards. This is called the slide method.

Ten percent is just an example. If your daughter gets bored immediately, increase the number of cards that you “slide”. Two or three weeks later, use the cards again that you changed in the “slide”.

Children can remember things quickly but also forget quickly. After a while, recycle the cards that she already knows to affix them in her memory. Additionally, it is good to mix in cards that she is interested in.

When my son loses concentration, what should I do?

【Q】 When I flash cards, my son loses concentration. Do you have any suggestions on how to keep his concentration focused?

 

【A】 At first, you should have him promise to concentrate on looking at the cards, because it is important to flash many cards rapidly.

Then, give him suggestions, “You can concentrate on the cards very well.”

There is also a method of asking your child questions about the cards every 10 cards or so, for example, “What’s this?”

You can change your son’s feeling, keep his concentration focused, and check his understanding by having him say the flash cards. However, if you have him say the words too often, you will not be able to rapidly input as much information. Please be careful of this.

My son seems to get bored of flash cards.

【Q】 I have shown my son flash cards since he was 4 months old, but recently he pays attention to other things and never looks at the cards. I thought at that point that we should take a break and I stopped doing cards for a month and a half. Although we started again, he acts the same. What should I do?

 

【A】 Maybe, your son is bored of the flash cards or it is difficult for him to concentrate on one thing because he is at an age where his curiosity is developing.

With flash cards, arrangement and rhythm are important. When you show him cards, arrange the way you do it so that he can concentrate on it, thinking, “This is unusual.” You can think of various ways to show the cards like mixing in photo cards of you, his father, or him, or some character cards with the other cards. Or you can imitate animal cries when you show animal cards. If you clean up the room before flashing cards you will create an environment in which your son can concentrate. Or keep the activity lively by changing the tone of your voice when you say to him, “Let’s do flash cards,” or “That’s all.”

If you convey your love to your son, hugging him before the activity, he will be relaxed and will look at the cards. When he really dislikes the activity, please do not force him to do it everyday. Continue by taking occasional breaks.

What are some mnemonic activities for daily life?

【Q】 I am too busy to do mnemonic activities. Do you have any suggestions?

 

【A】 You can do memorization training within your daily life:

・Memorizing phone numbers

・Memorizing train station names

・Memorizing people’s names

・Looking at a car’s license plate and trying to change it according to 100 peg words

In addition to the ideas above, there are many things you can memorize in your daily life. Please continue doing memory activities.

My daughter changes Peg Words.

【Q】 My second daughter works on the 100 Peg Memory using worksheets for elementary school students. However, she does not advance quickly because she does them slowly. My first daughter said to her, “Well, I’ll make a story,” and changed some peg words, for example, 03 changes to ousama [king in English]. She started telling her own original stories to my second daughter. My second daughter says, “Her stories are easier to remember.” They proceed in this way. Is it ok?

 

【A】 In Peg Memory, children should begin by memorizing the Peg Words. Then, they memorize various things such as numbers along with the words. They will develop their right brain memory ability, with which they can remember what they saw through images. Also, through repetition of the activity, they will be able to remember many things with images. It is ok to change key peg words into something easier to remember. By repeating this activity, whenever they want to recall something, children will be able to do so smoothly, recalling what they memorized through images in their right brain. Use fun stories to remember the peg word sequence.

When my son cannot easily remember something, what should I do?

【Q】 I do activities for Peg Method and Linking Method using cards but my son cannot easily increase the number of cards he remembers. Then, he often gets bored with the memorization methods or loses his concentration. Do you have any effective methods you can suggest?

 

【A】 If you force your son to remember or understand something in right brain activities, he will feel stress and it will be difficult to achieve results. Remember to continue activities in an enjoyable way. In addition, try making the contents of what he needs to memorize more interesting. Whether you are using the Linking Method or Peg Method, the more impressive or fun something is to memorize, the longer we can remember it. Some specific methods are:

1.Substitution Method (Substituting the item with something easier to remember)

It is easier to remember items if they are personified and leave lasting impressions.

  1. The cactus is walking.

2.Disproportion Method (Destroying the sense of size)

By removing an object’s sense of size, you can make the item more impressive even though it could not exist in real life.

  1. A raindrop sized elephant; An enormous ant

3.Hyperbole (Exaggerating the numbers)

  1. A hundred oranges in my mouth

4.Dynamic State Technique (Using motion in the story)

When there is movement, similar to animation, the images become humorous.

  1. A fish jumped out of his nostril.

Using these slightly exaggerated details will draw out your son’s interest and make it easier for him to remember. Also, by memorizing interesting images, it is possible to do activities without boring your child.

When my daughter cannot remember something with her right brain, what should I do?

【Q】 My daughter cannot easily use her right brain memory to remember and recreate something she sees only once. What should I do?

 

【A】 Begin with the Peg Method or the Linking Method, both of which are easy to do. Using either method, she will improve the quality of her memory and through repetition, will draw out her right brain memory. In addition, please give her suggestions before using the method, “You have a camera in your head. You can remember things as if you took a picture.”

When should we start speed-reading training?

【Q】 When should we start speed-reading training?

 

【A】 Children should start speed-reading training once they can read a book smoothly. Then, you can do the training by rapidly flashing “word” cards.

About speed-reading activities

【Q】 I want my son to do speed-reading training. What should I begin with? Are there any methods for younger children?

 

【A】 At first, you should do the pre-lesson (meditation, controlled breathing, suggestions) to activate his right brain. Then, do image training before you begin speed-reading training. You should have him imagine that he can read a book smoothly, understand the entire contents, and enjoy it very much.

In addition, please do eye muscle training. Attach his favorite character to the tip of a stick and say to him, “Please, follow the tip.” Because it is difficult for younger children to move just their eyes, move the stick up and down, left and right, and make circles with it.

I have a question about speed-reading.

【Q】 I believe that speed-reading activates the right brain but I cannot understand it because I feel that children cannot appreciate books when they speed read. Don’t you think that if they read a book carefully it will affect them more emotionally? I also think though that in order to study for school entrance exams, it is good for children to be able to read quickly…

 

【A】 In Shichida Method speed-reading children do not obtain information from reading words, but rather by changing the information in the book to light and images and receiving them with the right brain. They can enjoy reading with right brain images much more than actual, careful reading because the images are so vivid and have real appearances, sound, and senses. The children will feel as if they were inside the book.

Also, children will improve their right brain memorization by activating their right brains. They will be able to remember pages at that moment and freely recreate them at anytime, just as they desire. Certainly, children can understand and enjoy the contents of the books more than with normal reading because they can understand and recall what they speed-read.

Children will not read books slowly when they can read them rapidly. If they want to read normally, they can also do this. When they want to or should read rapidly, they can also do so. In other words, children can adjust their reading speed. By practicing speed-reading, they will be able to control themselves according to the time or occasion. It is important to realize that speed-reading is very different from normal reading and to use both techniques properly.

Chapter III

Activities for the Left Brain

My daughter can only draw childish pictures. What activities should I do with her?

【Q】 My 4-year old daughter loves to draw pictures. She can only express things using circles. For example, when she draws someone’s face, first, she draws a big circle. Second, she draws 2 circles about half the size of the big circle (to express the eyes I think). Finally, she draws a horizontal line (I think this is the mouth). She often asks me to draw her friends’ or family members’ faces or popular characters. Please tell me what kind of activities I should do to help her.

 

【A】 Children cannot acquire skills they have never learned. Show her some examples. If you show her an example of how to draw, she will understand and be able to draw pictures well. Because children fundamentally love to draw, she will develop her image and learn various ways to express it. If you are not good at drawing pictures, you should use an easy “drawing worksheet” as an example while you draw together. If children never learn how to do something they will not be able to acquire the ability. Please begin by giving her examples and praising the small things she is able to draw.

About drawing activities.

【Q】 When my child draws a picture, should I decide the theme?

 

【A】 Basically, when your child draws a picture, let your child draw freely. If you decide on something he or she should draw and force your child to do so, your child will gradually lose interest in drawing. When your child cannot think of what he or she wants to draw, talk with your child about what he or she is interested in and try to find a theme or title.

My son does nothing but draw pictures.

【Q】 My son is only interested in drawing pictures. He will not do right brain activities.

 

【A】 It is important to draw a line between drawing pictures and doing activities, for example, “When you finish drawing this picture, let’s look at cards.” But your son can also do right brain training by drawing pictures. First, you should prepare a photograph or illustration and show him it for 5-10 seconds. In addition, give him suggestions like, “You can remember this just as if you took a picture with a camera in your head.” Then, have him close his eyes and say to him, “Even when you close your eyes, you will be able to see what you just saw on your eyelids.” After he opens his eyes, have him draw the illustration he remembers. Using this method, he can do photographic memory (right brain memory) training.

My daughter hates to draw pictures.

【Q】 My daughter can draw a picture appropriate for her age, but she hates drawing. Do you have any good suggestions?

 

【A】 Drawing pictures provides good stimuli to both the right and left brains. Of course, you should help your daughter learn to enjoy drawing. In order to do so, begin by developing her interest in pictures. Guide her to be interested in a picture by showing her a book or cards with famous pictures glued on them. If you show her various pictures, she will be interested in them and she will develop an abundant sensitivity.

Then, after she draws, you should write a title on it, and file it away. You will see how she gradually acquires drawing skills and it will be a record of her growth. Using these suggestions, you can develop her interest and motivation in drawing by hanging up her pictures and praising her.

My son does not draw pictures.

【Q】 My son is 3 years 9 months. He does not draw pictures. When I say to him, “Please, draw my face,” he is unwilling to draw my eyes or mouth. How can I help him draw a picture? I should also mention that he does use various colors and draws many circles.

 

【A】 Since your son seems to be able to at least draw something, you do not have to worry about him. Try various ways to encourage him to draw, such as having him complete mazes or coloring his favorite character.

On the other hand, if he does not know how to draw a picture, he will never be able to do it. It is necessary to teach him various ways of drawing pictures. Show him how fun it is to draw pictures by drawing a design and having him imitate it, or have him color something. Even if he can draw something slightly, you should praise him sincerely so that he will be motivated. Also, it is important to take him to an art museum and show him famous paintings.

My daughter believes she cannot write in her diary well and seems to worry about it.

【Q】 After my daughter takes a bath until the time she goes to bed, as part of her daily routine she reads picture books and writes in her diary. However, she believes she cannot write in her diary well and feels disappointed with herself. I have never said to her, “You have to write in your diary well,” or forced her to do it. She seems to want to write in it. Should she continue doing it?

 

【A】 She should continue writing in the future because keeping a diary is a very good habit. You should praise the fact that she writes in it spontaneously, saying to her, “You can write well.” Then, if she does this training, she will remember how to write and she will be able to easily write excellent sentences. At first, she should decide on a theme and think of 7 to 10 words related to the theme. Then, for a few minutes she should practice writing sentences using those words. Choose the theme. → Think of related words. → Compose sentences. If she repeats this method of practice, she will be able to write what she wants and enjoy it. In addition, you should help her write sentences by asking her questions about the topic such as the color, sound, shape, her impression or feeling, number, amount, or what she imagined.

My son is bad at writing compositions.

【Q】 My son is bad at writing compositions. He is a very talkative child but when he tries to write sentences on paper, his pencil stops.

 

【A】 One way to help children who are not good at writing is to ask them 5W1H questions [Who, What, Where, When, Why, How] to help them create sentences. You should gently ask him, “When? With whom? Where? What did you do? What happened? How did you feel,” and have him write the answers one by one. This method of composition training is very easy for children to do.

Gradually have him enrich his answers and have him write them into sentences.

I want my son to write good sentences.

【Q】 My son writes only very simple and normal sentences. His sentences just report what he did. (ex. Today, I played with my friends. It was fun.) What should I do in order to help him write good sentences?

 

【A】 In order to write good sentences, children should try to include the following contents:

  • Color
  • Sound
  • Shape
  • Impression or Feeling
  • Number or Amount
  • What was imagined or thought

There are also questions that can bring out children’s ability to write sentences.

Questions about “the best”

・What was the most fun?       ・What was the most impressive? ・What was the hardest?

・What was the worst?          ・What was the happiest?      ・What is your funniest story?

・What was saddest?                         ・What made you the most angry? ・What were you most moved by?

Questions about senses

  • Various senses (ex. smell, taste, feeling, heat, cold, weight, bodily sensations…)

Questions about time

(Second, minute, hour, day, month, year, and history)

・Future(Wishes, dreams, goals, plans, and hopes)

・Past(Memories, comparisons between the past and present, and history.)

Also, having your son copy famous pieces is great composition training. If there is a famous piece of writing that has contents simple enough for him to understand, you should have him copy it.

My daughter is too absorbed in books to keep patterns in her daily life.

【Q】 My 4-year-old daughter has gone to a Shichida school for 3 years. She learned to read letters when she was 3 and a half years old. She reads many books. She starts reading them right after she gets up and just before she falls asleep. I almost feel like she is addicted to words. Because of this, the time I spend reading to her is decreasing, but I don’t think this is ok…Also, she cannot fall asleep easily because she reads books before falling asleep. She is in a bad pattern: going to sleep late → getting up early → taking a nap → going to sleep late.

 

【A】 Help her fall asleep at night by gently reading books to her. It is so wonderful that a 4-year-old child can concentrate on reading like you say. Certainly, her reading enriches her understanding and sensibility.

On the other hand, it is necessary to improve her unhealthy life patterns. Read books to her before she goes to sleep so that she can fall asleep easily. At this time, you should not just read to her but have her close her eyes and fall asleep by saying to her, “Listen to the story with your eyes closed and imagine the contents.” Keep reading for a while even after she starts to fall asleep. She can imagine even though she is asleep. She will enter the dream world smoothly.

My son does not seem to like picture books. What should I do to help him enjoy books?

【Q】 Now, my son is 1 year 9 months old. I have read picture books to him since he was young because I want him to like books. But recently he is not interested in them. He plays other games or stops me from reading to him. He does not seem to like books. Should I keep reading picture books to him in spite of his behavior? His grandmother says, “It’s no use reading books to him because he doesn’t like it.” I want to know how to help him enjoy books.

 

【A】 Begin by choosing a book that he is interested in, and telling him a story while you show him the pictures. Choose a book that he can be interested in such as a book that shows his favorite toys, content familiar to him or about daily life. In addition, read it in your words so that he can understand more easily. For example, you should not just read the contents to him, but also add information into the content, pointing at the pictures, “It’s a cute cat. Isn’t it? It looks like a baby.”

It is also good to change the name of the main character in the picture book to his name or to talk about the picture book with him. Ask him some questions like “Which apple do you like?” or “Where is the sparrow?”

As you have him experience the books, you can check to see if he understands the words. If he understands more words, you can read him a more advanced book. Try to begin by choosing a book that is suitable for him. Be sure to keep patiently reading to him.

My daughter hates to listen to me read a picture book.

【Q】 Suddenly, at 2 years 4 months old, my daughter has started to want to read books by herself. It is ok for her to read books that she has memorized but she also wants to read books she does not remember yet. When I check her facial expressions, I wonder if she can understand some parts. When I try to help her, she gets angry, saying, “I will read it!” I am worried because she will not allow me to read books to her even though I want to. What should I do?

 

【A】 Allow your daughter to continue freely reading and at the right time, also try reading to her. She likes to read books probably because you have treasured reading them to her. By reading books to her, you can enrich her high quality vocabulary and develop her listening and concentration skills. Now, she is not reading the words in the book but recalling the contents she heard you read. When she wants to read a picture book by herself, you should let her read it. If she is satisfied, she will be motivated to learn next time. At first, you should satisfy her, and then, look for opportunities to read to her. When she is interested, develop her interest by reading aloud to her. Two years old is an age for independence. Children have a desire to separate from their parents and to do many things by themselves. It is important to properly develop this desire.

※One point of advice・・・The world of images will become real. Please do meditation, controlled breathing and imaging. Imagine that your daughter asks you to read a picture book.

My daughter hates to read picture books by herself.

【Q】 My daughter is 6 years old. She loves to have someone read books to her. Since she was born, I have been reading books to her everyday without stopping. However, in spite of this, she hates to read by herself. Even if I have her read, she cannot do so smoothly. Is reading alone the only way for my daughter to develop the ability to read smoothly?

【A】 Keep reading picture books to her in order to guide her to be able to read. If she hates reading by herself, you do not have to force her to do so. Please keep reading to her. It is better to develop her aural memorization by having her listen to a book many times. If she remembers the picture book, please have her recite it.

If children read picture books in detail, they cannot acquire the ability to get information through reading. They cannot read smoothly because they are developing their left brain and focusing on details. Therefore, they cannot understand the overall contents. As much as possible, increase the number of books that she can recite. We recommend that you use easy books that contain plenty of repetition. If you read a book to her several times, she will be able to remember it completely and recite it. If she learns to read it, you should have her read it aloud. At this time, you will finish developing her ability to read a book at a glance. You can develop her smooth reading skill by having her recite books.

My son just reads the same book.

【Q】 My son is 4 years 10 months old. He loves to read picture books and listen to others read them. Once he finds his favorite book, he asks me to read only that book. I want to read various books to him.

 

【A】 Children can learn many words, ways of expression and obtain knowledge by reading books. There are two types of reading: “intensive reading” in which children read their favorite book many times and “extensive reading” in which they read many books. Both of these methods are important. If he has a favorite book that he brings to you to read, it will be easier to advance intensive reading. The basis of recitation is children learning to say the book aloud and recite it as they read. By doing recitation, your son can change the way he uses his brain and develop his right brain. Then, the expressions that enter his subconscious will become the basis for his written expressive ability. Remember to have him enjoy reciting his favorite picture book.

In addition, continue extensive reading by reading various types of books to him, telling him it is “mom’s choice”.

Do I have to read scary or sad picture books to my daughter?

【Q】 My daughter (2 years 8 months old) likes books and uses many phrases from them in her daily life. I want to read various categories of books to her but I feel sad when I read many stories about bullying or war stories (especially ones with scary pictures or pictures that make me feel too much pity). Should I make sure to read these stories to her in order to develop her mind? Or are only happy stories sufficient?

 

【A】 Consider balancing happy stories and scary ones and read both to her. When you read books to her, it is not necessary to always choose scary stories but you also cannot completely avoid reading scary books to her. It is good to choose stories about considering others or beautiful minds. For every 8 to 9 happy stories, maybe there can be 1 or 2 sad stories. If you grow a plant always keeping it in a warm room, it will become a plant that cannot weather storms. In a similar way, some books have scary or cruel stories (a sparrow has its tongue cut or an old woman is killed by a raccoon), but through these stories, children learn to endure fear. If children do not learn to get over sadness, cruelness, or difficulties, they will grow up to be children that cannot stand these emotions. When they actually have to face these situations, they will strongly resist them. If there are any scary stories in a book you read your daughter, you should tell her in your own words how to deal with things that are scary, mean, or cruel. Aesop’s Fables contain many stories that are instructive. Please choose books she can learn something from and develop your daughter’s mind so that she will be able to endure various things.

My daughter has difficulty with comprehension questions.

【Q】 I have a question about my oldest daughter (4th grade). Although I have read books to her since she was little, she is not very interested in reading. She has difficulty with comprehension questions at school and asks me what to do. I think that it is most important for her to develop her reading comprehension skills. What should I do?

 

【A】 In order to develop her reading comprehension, it is important to read to her. When you read to her, you can develop her ability to imagine the contents of sentences and understand them. If possible, from now on make a habit of reading to her. On the other hand, you should choose her favorite book or an easier book to understand and everyday, read it out loud together. After you finish reading, talk with her about its content or ask her some questions about it. For example, “Who came out of the mountain? What did you feel at the time?” By asking her various questions, guide her to respond to the content.

In addition, you should have her repeatedly work on written questions or the basics of answering questions such as dividing sentences into parts or writing down the main points. In addition, whenever she does something, please have her use her right brain ability and do meditation, controlled breathing and imaging. You should have her change her consciousness to the level of the right brain by having her calm down and do controlled breathing. Have her try to imagine that she can solve some questions smoothly and that she is good at it.

My son cannot recite things.

【Q】 My 4-year-old son cannot recite things easily. It takes a few weeks for my son to memorize something that only takes other children one week. I play the tape many times and recite it along with him but he hates doing this. Even worse, he says this while crying. I feel bad that I am too eager for him to be successful…

 

【A】 The ideal of recitation is for children to remember an easy poem that their parents read to them. If you force your son to recite something, contrary to your expectation, it has a bad effect on him. The best way to have him listen is subconsciously through background music. You should begin by reading a book that he enjoys that contains a few words and repetitive sentences or phrases. Working repeatedly with him will allow him to produce great output. If you remember that it is important to have him listen to something as BGM without thinking about it seriously, and continue having him listen to it, he will be able to recite it. Each child has different ways of proceeding. Do not compare your son with other children. When your son is able to recite something, you should develop his low confidence by praising and accepting him.

Suddenly, my son will start reciting something, drawing the attention of others.

【Q】 Since my son was young, I have flashed many cards with him. Now that he has started speaking I am amazed that he can remember and say the names of the cards. I have been flashing “Japanese Geography Cards” lately. My 2 year 10 month old son remembers all the cards. However, sometimes he will suddenly say loudly, “Hokkaido, Aomori prefecture…”. Honestly, I really mind other mothers staring at my son (I wonder what they are thinking…). So now we are taking a break from using flash cards. However, I feel that it is a waste not to do activities with my son while he is at the age where he is able to absorb knowledge so easily. I worry about what I should do.

 

【A】 Young children say what they remember without caring about the people around them. It is evidence that they are trying hard to learn. When he says what he remembers outside of your home, say to the other mothers, “He likes geography.” Warmly watch over your son’s growth. You often hear children talking about what they know when they are riding the train. It’s really wonderful, isn’t it? However, there are times when it is not appropriate to say those things or when he should not be speaking loudly in a public space. Try telling him about these things, saying to him, “We shouldn’t do that now. We can do it later ok?”

Just like the saying “Genius is created by the age of 3”, what parents do for their children up to the age of 3 years old will develop their talents. Flashing cards is the basic activity to develop children’s talents. It develops their ability to absorb and memorize, as well as their own interests and senses. Please feel confident that you are doing a good thing for your son and support him as he does his best to learn.

When I start recitation activities, my daughter gets in a bad mood.

【Q】 My daughter cannot fall asleep smoothly. It usually takes her 30 minutes to an hour and a half for her to fall asleep. While she tries to fall asleep, I sing songs, read books and tell her fairytales. However, before she falls asleep, if I start to have her recite something (100 Peg Memory, Haru ha Akebono or Taketori Monogatari [Japanese stories]), she gets in a bad mood. I wonder why these things make her grumpy when telling her simple stories does not. I am not intending to force her to recite.

 

【A】 If she gets in a bad mood once you start having her recite, you do not have to make her do recitation. Have her do it another time. Proceed with activities for her by focusing on what she enjoys doing. Before she falls asleep, she prefers listening to you read books to any other activity.

Quiet time before sleeping is important for your daughter to be able to fall asleep smoothly. An hour before bed, try to avoid games that include excessive physical movement that may excite her. Turn off the lights in the room so that she can calm down and sleep easily. On the other hand, remember to try to have her get up early as well as go to bed early. And during the day, keep her as active as possible.

We live overseas and my son is not good at expressing himself in his own words.

【Q】 I have read picture books to my son since he was little. But even though he is 6 years old now he cannot tell stories about what happened at his kindergarten in the proper order. This is probably because I have not spoken often with him. He is probably like this because we live overseas and I didn’t do a good job conversing with him. However, I thought it was all right as long as I kept reading books to him. But, after we finish a book, if I ask him to tell me what he felt about the story he often cannot say. Please tell me how to work with him in the future.

 

【A】 When children cannot express their feelings with their words, they are just lacking output training. You should help him acquire composition skill. If he obtains this, he will be able to write what he wants to say. If he can write, he will be able to say what he wants and logically express himself. His input should be sufficient because you have been reading picture books to him. In the future, do left brain training (output training) with him.

A good activity you can do is to give him 5 words and have him make sentences with the words. If it is difficult for him to make sentences, you should begin by having him connect a few words and say them. For example, have him write sentences about a topic such as “the park” by thinking of related words. If he thinks of “friend”, “green”, and “wind”, you should have him make sentences with these 3 words. “The gentle wind was blowing in the park. The wind shook the green leaves. I felt as if the leaves were dancing. I heard my friend’s voice over the leaves. I was happy and in a big voice, waved my hands with my whole body.” Have him make sentences like these. If it is difficult for him to write, it is ok to just have him say the sentences aloud. Develop your son’s ability to express himself by encouraging the “speaking” part of “writing/speaking” left brain output.

Even if your son cannot write or speak well at first, by doing these activities everyday he will learn to. He will be able to express himself smoothly using about 10 words. His skill in his mother language, his logic and ability to express himself will develop. By having him write and speak, his left brain expressive ability will develop.

My daughter cannot speak well

【Q】 My daughter cannot speak well. She cannot tell a story in the proper order or explain her reasons for something.

 

【A】 During your conversations with her, ask her some questions and listen to her answers. If you kindly ask her some questions in the proper order like “What did you play? Then, what happened? How did you feel,” she will have to answer the questions in the proper order. She will naturally learn to tell a story in the proper order.

It is important not just to ask her questions but also to repeat what she said. Draw out her ideas and opinions gradually.

Example: “What did you play?”

“Oh, you ○○. Sounds fun. Then, what happened?”

“Wow, you were ○○. Sounds fun. How did you feel at the time?”

“Oh, you enjoyed it. I am happy to hear you enjoyed it.”

Conversations like this will not only develop her logical ability and be speaking training but composition training as well.

My son is poor at conversing.

【Q】 I have flashed cards and read picture books to my son since he was 3 months old. However, he has not looked at the flash cards since he was a year and a half. I think that it is bad to force my son but a year has passed while I have been waiting for a good opportunity. Even though I know each child has a different speaking skill growth rate, I cannot understand what my son says because he is poor at conversing. I am anxious about his future. In this case, what can I do for him?

 

【A】 As you say, each child has a different growth rate for his or her speaking skill. The important thing is to increase the number of words that he can understand. In order to do so, in his daily life, input many words with him by speaking to him, reading books to him and flashing cards. Also, within daily life, repeatedly teaching your son the connection between words and objects, such as, “This is a television. This is a chest of drawers,” is good input. If you can input enough words, your son will be able to speak naturally. Have him listen and sing children’s songs as well.

On the other hand, have him blow out candles or play with a whistle as exercises to help him to speak. Blowing out will be a good stimulus for him. It is also good to make sounds like “ton ton” and have him imitate the sound. If you are impatient, your feelings will be conveyed to your son and will have a negative effect on him. Even if he cannot do something, you should not give up on him. Steadily input a foundation into your son. Please be positive when you deal with him.

My daughter has not started speaking.

【Q】 I have done Shichida Method since my daughter was an unborn baby. Even though she is 1 year 4 months old she has not started speaking yet. I did not think she would definitely start speaking early because I did the Shichida Method with her. But I am disappointed because I sort of expected her to be able to.

 

【A】 Each child shows a different growth rate in his or her speaking skill. Usually, at the age of 2 children demonstrate an explosion of language. Your daughter has not started speaking yet so it means that she still needs some more input. Without being too eager for the results, you should do more input with her.

You should not only speak to her, but also help her train the muscles around her mouth through breathing practice. Biting strength is related to speaking ability. She probably understands many words because you have actively worked with her since before she was born. When it comes to speaking though, the growth of body function is also related. Increase the number of words she can answer in the “Which is ○○” game. Don’t think about the difference in her growth negatively, but see it as her personality. Please don’t focus on what she cannot do, but praise what she can do, and accept her as she is. Your gentle smile and conversations with her are the best nutrients for her growth. Depending on the situation and atmosphere, speak to her with a smile.

My older child wants to communicate with me through gestures.

【Q】 Now, my son is 4 months old. I have spoken to him, played the “which game”, done rhythm, sung songs and showed him flash cards since before he was born. Now, he can say, mommy, daddy and pre-speech words. I used to read the book “Baby Talk” and I communicated with him using gestures, as babies often do until they start speaking. However, my older daughter saw this and started using gestures more than her words. This is all right when she talks with her 4 family members including my son (her brother) but she also tries to use this communication with her friends or me. Watching her, I worry that it will become an obstacle to her oral expressive ability. What should I do?

 

【A】 She is showing you that she feels she wants you to communicate with her like you do with your son. By doing the same things as your son, she probably expects that you will pay attention to her. If you strongly say to her, “Use your words,” she will gradually speak even less. It is important to create an environment in which she is willingly to speak.

In order to do so, it is important to use kind words with her and have physical contact. Hug her and say, “I am always watching you. ” Speak kind words to her and convey your love. In addition, it is important to try to give her priority in your daily life. When your son cries, don’t always put your son first ahead of her. Take care of him after saying to her, “I’m going to check on him, so please wait for a bit.” If she can understand that she also has your love, she will probably begin acting normal again.

My son cannot understand colors or shapes.

【Q】 My son is 4 years old. He does not know some colors or shapes like light blue, pink, square, and triangle even though I have taught him many times. Do you have any hints for teaching him these things so that he will be able to distinguish them?

 

【A】 If he does not know his shapes, you should teach him many times until he can recognize them. Teach him for example, just pink, without teaching him light blue, because it is difficult for children to remember two things at once. Following this, whenever you ask him to “take the pink one”, he will be able to do so correctly. It is difficult to understand shapes just by listening to an explanation in words or by looking at shapes on a two-dimensional plane. Teach him these concepts using items from his daily life, like building blocks or writing words using various colors. In addition, we recommend the following teaching material for basic concepts: 1st STAGE (No.123-600 \13,000 <not including tax>).

Even when you teach them, it is natural for children to be able to immediately understand some concepts but not others. Patiently teach him the concepts by talking to him so that he will be interested in the colors and shapes in his daily life.

My daughter cannot understand amounts.

【Q】 The concept of amounts seems difficult for my daughter. Do you have any good ways to teach her this concept?

 

【A】 You can encourage your daughter’s development by including basic concepts in her daily life. In particular, the basis of understanding numbers is understanding the concept of amounts. Teach it to her within her daily life.

Some examples are listed below.

– more/less

– one more/more

– many/a few; a lot/a little

– increase/decrease

– all/half

– big/small

– same/different

– long/short

Teach her these basic concepts consciously in her daily life and activities. Remembering the concept of amounts now will lead to her later understanding of numbers.

My son cannot understand spatial recognition.

【Q】 My son cannot easily understand spatial recognition. Do you have any good suggestions for how to teach him this concept?

 

【A】 Spatial recognition includes 5 concepts: on/under, left/right, front/back, in/out, and far/near. Children can learn these concepts in their daily life. Say to him, “Please bring me the eraser on the table.” As you communicate with him, he can learn the concept of “on/under”. He can also learn the concept of “in/out” if you put some items into an empty box and ask him, “How many items are there in the box?” It is important to include spatial recognition in your son’s daily activities just as you include the other basic concepts. Also, you should have him work on worksheets so that the concepts become fixed in his mind.

My daughter cannot understand comparisons.

【Q】 Do you have any suggestions for how I can teach my daughter the concept of comparison?

 

【A】 In order to teach her the concept of comparison, it is good to teach her as many opposite words as possible. All opposite words like “hot ⇔ cold” or “fast ⇔ slow” are words used in comparisons. Make opposite word cards by writing a word on a card and the opposite word on the back of the card. Then show her the cards.

My son cannot understand time.

【Q】 Are there any good ways to teach my son the concept of time?

 

【A】 Time is a broad concept. It is easiest and most effective to teach children this concept using a calendar and a clock. Have your son remember time by relating it to other disciplines such as having him do something on a schedule or keeping promises involving time. Please teach him this concept carefully. (Make flashcards for the seasons and days of the week, etc.)

Do you have any hints for teaching my daughter how to write letters?

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years 8 months old. She has learned to read most of the hiragana [Japanese phonetic script] letters and to count to 10. Now, I want her to practice writing those but she cannot do as well as I expected. If you have any hints for teaching her how to write, please share them with me.

 

【A】 It sounds like your daughter is in the phase where she is beginning to be interested in letters. Therefore, you should develop her motivation for writing. For example, write letters with a highlighter pen and have her trace them or hold your hand over hers and write the letters together. Begin with something easy.

If you have her write letters on paper from the beginning, she may feel it is a burden. Instead, alter the way you have her write so that she enjoys writing letters. For example, have her write in the air, on someone’s back when she is taking a bath or on a frosty pane of glass. If she can enjoy doing it, the quality of the activity will be increased because she will have good, efficient absorptive abilities. Watch your daughter and continue doing activities with her that are within her range of possibility.

My son cannot not write letters.

【Q】 My son is 4 years old. He loves to listen to me read books and to read by himself, but he hates writing. He also hates worksheets. I try to encourage him to write letters by saying to him, “If you can write letters, you will be able to write a letter,” but it is not effective. He also cannot progress easily through worksheets…

 

【A】 It is more difficult for children to write than we might expect. Help him write letters and teach him about the enjoyment of writing by showing him that you write letters. Also, you can show him an example of a single letter and have him write it or draw the letters with a highlighter and have him trace them. We recommend that you have him send a letter to someone, like one of his relatives. When he writes a little, overreact happily and praise him, “That’s really great!”

Also, through imitation children develop their interest in things and improve at things. When you show him an example, say to him, “Let’s do it together, ” and complete that task together. Patiently encouraging your son is the secret to his learning to enjoy writing letters. Also, he may hate to write letters because he has weak writing pressure and cannot yet write firmly. You should not only have him write but also work actively with his fingertips. In this way, his writing pressure will develop and he will be able to write firmly. Help your son become more dexterous by developing his fingertip strength.

My daughter does not seem to be interested in letters.

【Q】 My daughter (3 years old) has started attending preschool so I think it is about time to teach her hiragana [Japanese phonetic script]. But she does not seem interested in letters yet. Should I wait until she shows an interest?

 

【A】 First, it is important to help her get interested in hiragana. In order to do so, it is best to create an environment in which she is exposed to hiragana. Develop her interest in hiragana by putting a chart of hiragana on the wall or naturally pointing to hiragana when you read books to her.

In addition to those mentioned above, try other methods, for example, write something’s name in big letters and place the paper in the room so that she will see it often. Begin by teaching her easy letters that can be written in one stroke like “し(shi)” or “て(te)”. Also, teach her the letters of her name and other family member’s names. It is also good to put name stickers on her belongings.

Additionally, if you have her look for words she remembers in a picture book or newspaper and circle them, she will enjoy understanding letters and will be able to remember them well. Vary the methods you use so that she will be interested in letters. Tell her that there are many words in her daily life and develop her interest gradually. If you are too eager to have her remember and think, “I’ll make her remember,” your feelings will be conveyed to her and she will not become interested. Remember that the first thing to do is to help her get interested in letters. Create this environment and enjoy doing activities with her.

My son writes things backwards.

【Q】 When my son scribbles numbers, he makes no mistakes. However, sometimes he writes numbers backwards, for example, he writes “jyuugo [15]” as the number “51”. Whenever he makes mistakes, I show him a correct example but he still continues to make errors. Do you have any good suggestions for how to deal with this?

 

【A】 Children often write numbers and letters backward as a step in learning how to write. Don’t worry about it. Repeatedly teach him the correct numbers or letters to establish them in his mind. As you do now, write the correct number or letter and show it to him. Unless he hates you to do so, hold his hand with yours and write together. It is also good to have him write in the air before writing on paper.

My daughter hates number activities.

【Q】 My daughter hates number activities.

 

【A】 First, develop your daughter’s interest in numbers. Make numbers a part of her daily life and raise her so that she is naturally good with numbers. For example, when you go upstairs with her, you can count the stairs with her, “1, 2, 3…” When you walk outside, you can count the number of cars you see. Count the parts of the face, pointing to each one, 2 eyes, 1 nose, 1 mouth, and 2 ears. She will become interested in numbers, good with them and will do activities positively.

My son calculates using his fingers.

【Q】 My son is 5 years old. When he does addition and subtraction, he calculates with his fingers. I show him Dot Cards. Should I stop him from calculating with his fingers?

 

【A】 If your son calculates with his fingers, he will often make mistakes and will not be able to answer immediately. So he will feel that he is not good at calculation. In order to help your son be able to calculate smoothly, without using his fingers, you should help him to clearly remember his addition tables. You should also flash “Addition Cards” with him. Through the repetition of input he will remember the equations naturally.

Also, until your son is able to remember his addition tables, have him calculate using counters, a 100 Bead Abacus or tiles so that he does not use his fingers. The basis of subtraction is addition. Help your son clearly remember his addition tables so that he can say the answers without reasoning first.

The goal of Dots is to develop right brain calculation skill so that children can see the answer at a glance, say the answer and write it. First, show him Dot Cards regularly, then, guide him so that he is able to say the answers. Have him write those answers as output. When having him practice counting or writing numbers, as another activity you should have him work on Dots worksheets.

My daughter is not good at calculation.

【Q】 My daughter understands numbers but she is not good at calculation.

 

【A】 Your daughter will become stronger at calculation if she learns it in her daily life. If you teach her calculation within her daily life or using a familiar picture book, she will understand it better.

Example: If you teach her calculation using real items she will understand better because she will actually be able to see the numbers. Using cookies (or miniatures of cookies) ask her, “I will give you 1 cookie. Then, I will give you 1 more cookie. How many cookies do you have now?”

How to learn large numbers

【Q】 It is difficult to teach my son large numbers like 1,000.

 

【A】 You should teach your son large numbers using the items around him. In daily life, we often see the concept of 1,000 in the money we use. Have your son play shopping games using play money. The more often he touches money, the easier he will acquire the concept of large numbers. Through shopping games, your son will develop not only his understanding of number concepts, but also his knowledge of how to shop and his feelings of value. Please have him play this type of game.

My daughter says, “I don’t understand. I can’t do that,” and does not want to do worksheets.

【Q】 When my daughter works on worksheets, even though she has done similar questions many times, she always says, “I don’t know. I can’t do it,” and does not want to do the worksheet. I think she will enjoy it if she is able to do (understand) it. I explain various things to her but she still cannot do them. Should I just ignore this and let it go? Or should I change my viewpoint and have her work on similar questions so that she is able to understand? What should I do?

 

【A】 Sometimes, it is too early to have 2 and a half year old children do worksheets. Don’t have her start worksheets just because she is 2 and a half. Instead, begin with fingertip training. She needs some introductory steps first before she starts worksheets such as cutting paper along a line, drawing circles with crayons and writing freely with a pencil. If you give up on her as she is now, she will not develop her dexterity. As your mentioned in your question, you should change your point of view and have her do many of the above activities as an introduction before she begins worksheets.

Puzzles may also be helpful to her. You should begin with 5 to 6 pieces of a puzzle and increase the number of pieces to 10, 20, 30 and 50 pieces. If she is able to concentrate on them, it shows that her motivation has developed. After having her experience fun activities and developing her confidence, guide her so that she is willing to do worksheets. Generally, children start doing worksheets from 3 years old. If children have done fingertip training and developed their motivation, they can start doing worksheets from 2 and a half years old.

My son will not do worksheets.

【Q】 I have had my son do worksheets everyday, but recently he has run away from worksheets when he sees them. I stopped doing them for a month and then re-started but he cried. What should I do so that he will resume doing worksheets?

 

【A】 It is not good to force him to do worksheets because he feels stress from them. For this reason, some children refuse to do worksheets. You will need to go back to the basics of Shichida Method education. Developing knowledge or skills is not Shichida Method education. If you follow the basics of conveying your love to your son and bringing him up by accepting, praising, and loving him, he will change rapidly.

Take an extended break from doing worksheets and when he is in a good mood, ask him for his help. If he helps you, give him a tight hug and say to him, “Thank you for helping me. ○○ (his name), I love you so much because you are kind.” He will be satisfied and therefore, obedient to you. He will say to you, “I will do worksheets.” Pressure makes him hate to do worksheets. Please completely forget about having him do worksheets for an extended period of time. Concentrate instead on communicating with him through your heart. If you can develop a sense of oneness between you and your son, everything will change. You will be able to get him to do worksheets. Using this method, many children stop refusing to do worksheets and enjoy learning again.

My son gets in a bad mood immediately or starts playing other things. He will not do worksheets.

【Q】 My 4-year-old son does “Shichida Method Worksheets”, homework worksheets from his Shichida school and the “Letters and Numbers Notebook”. When his stroke order or the direction of his letters is wrong, I teach him the correct way but he gets in a bad mood. Also, if I teach him calculation using a little puppet, he will just play with it. Even if I say to him, “Let’s write together,” he holds my hands, not the pencil. I know that I should not force him to do worksheets but I feel irritated. Do you have any suggestions for fun ways to do worksheets?

 

【A】 If the worksheets seem difficult for him, try going back to easier ones. If he cannot even do the easier ones, you should have him do more practice before starting the worksheets, for example, checking the contents of the worksheet using real items. Focus on having him do things that he can do easily, such as connecting 2 dots or doing mazes. It is important for him to enjoy doing activities.

Then, before having him write, have him practice using and playing with his fingertips. For example, play games like cutting paper along a line with scissors, folding origami paper or picking up something and moving it to another container using chopsticks. If he can do these things even slightly, you should praise him. Create an atmosphere where he enjoys doing things with you. He will start to feel that “all activities are fun”.

My daughter dislikes the homework she receives at her Shichida School.

【Q】 My daughter goes to a Shichida School but she hates to do the tasks from the school (worksheets she is given as homework).

 

【A】 Prepare an achievement chart and stickers for her. Whenever she does a worksheet, you should put a sticker or a stamp on the chart. (The achievement chart can be simple.) Use this method so that she can see the results of her efforts. As the number of stickers or stamps increases, she will feel a sense of achievement from the worksheets. She will be willing to do them.

Chapter IV

Activity Hints

My daughter does not concentrate on activities. What should I do?

【Q】 Sometimes, my 2-year-old daughter loses her concentration before we have finished reading a picture book or she does not look at cards. Even if I say to her, “Please listen,” or “Please look at cards,” she continues to be restless. She seems happy when she reads picture books alone. However, if someone tries to join her, she stops reading. What should I do?

 

【A】 She can probably concentrate on activities because she enjoys reading books by herself. Probably, she is too happy to be spending time with you to concentrate on the activities. Try to communicate with her with your heart. When she wakes up, say words of love and gratitude to her as you hug her, “○○(her name), I love you so much. Thank you for being born to me!”

Children often do not feel enough love from their parents, even though their parents think that they are conveying their love to their children. Before trying to relate to your daughter’s intelligence, it is important to satisfy her by conveying your love to her sincerely. In this way, she will feel happy to do things together with you and you will be able to advance activities smoothly.

I cannot do activities every day.

【Q】 My son is 6 and a half months old. I cannot do Dot Card activities or flash cards everyday because my son’s life rhythms are not regular yet. Will I be able to do the activities well even if they are irregular?

 

【A】 Your son is still 6 and a half months old. From now on, you should gradually create his basic life rhythms. Have him do daily things like fall asleep, get up, eat meals and take a bath at as regular times as possible. You can mix activities into these rhythms.

A few minutes are enough for each activity. It is important to continue gradually flashing cards like Dot Cards or picture cards when you can. For example, you can flash cards immediately after having a meal or when your son wakes up. If you connect activities with his daily life rhythms, you will be able to make them a habit more easily. After your son goes to bed, you should prepare the flash cards for the next day. If you do so, you can do activities immediately whenever he is in a good mood.

My daughter is not serious in her lessons.

【Q】 I believe in right brain education so I had my daughter enter a Shichida school. But she does not try to do image training or worksheets seriously. The other children are already at a high level and I am too eager for results. Was it too late to start her at 6 years old? What should I do so that she can do activities without fooling around or hating them? I intend to accept and praise her, but I just feel stress.

 

【A】 Your heart always stays with her heart. Please remember this. Through their right brain (waves), children can subconsciously feel their parents’ feelings even when they don’t say anything. If you feel stressed and think negatively, your daughter will also feel these things. Conversely, if you think and image positively, your images will manifest themselves in a few seconds or minutes. This is called the “law of the heart” (or the “law of images”). There are 6 points in how to view children:

①Do not look at a child’s weak points or shortcomings. Focus on his/her good points and praise those.

②Do not look at the child’s present form as his/her completed form. Look at the child as being involved in a process.

③Do not be a perfectionist. Praise the child for small achievements and convey your happiness.

④Do not compare the child with others. Pay attention to each child’s individualities.

⑤Do not place priority on academic achievements. Do not pay attention to what a child can or cannot do.

⑥Learn to see the child as perfect, just as he/she is.

If you can truly feel the meaning of these points in your heart, your daughter will change amazingly and your impatience will disappear. If you change, your daughter will calm down and display her original abilities.

How much should I repeat in order for my daughter to memorize it?

【Q】 My daughter is 3 and a half years old. In the Shichida Method, it is important to repeat in order to remember things, but how much should I repeat? Now, I decided that 20 times is 1 cycle. I do card activities for about 3 cycles. I flash world geography cards, 4 kanji [Chinese character] phrase cards and Japanese geography cards. Usually, she remembers all the cards after 2 cycles but she will make mistakes during the 3rd cycle.

 

【A】 By repeating flash card memorization activities, you can stimulate your daughter’s right brain and develop her right brain memorization. If she is confused during the 3rd cycle, you should stop for a while in case she is getting bored with it. Move on to the 4th cycle. Repetition of a large amount of short words will be memorized in the deep diencephalon (interbrain). If you make your daughter cards she likes, and you do them in an enjoyable way, they will enter her subconscious and later, lead to large abilities. Do card activities many times, while taking occasional breaks, because she can remember even if she has not done something for a while.

In Shichida Method, we say that 400% learning is important. Children remember something perfectly and can recite it once. This is 100%. However, after a while, they forget it. If they review it 1 month later, they will remember it completely. This is 200% learning. However, they forget it again. They should review and remember it 1 to 2 months later. This is 300%. When they forget it, they review it again. Then, they achieve 400% learning. If your daughter does 400% learning, she will not forget things.

In order to get my son to do activities, I give him a snack…

【Q】 I do worksheets with my 3-year-old son every morning. However, I ask him to do it by saying, “I will give you snack,” because he will not do it if I just say, “Let’s try it.” I give him a piece of candy or chewing gum for each worksheet. Is it ok to guide him to do something by giving him a reward? Despite the method that I use, I think, “he will acquire skills by working on worksheets” and I give him a snack.

 

【A】 Motivate your son by using rewards well. At first, children will concentrate on activities because they want the reward. However, it often subconsciously becomes their habit to do activities. If your son sees the results of doing worksheets, he will be able to feel that this is his reward. However, the method in which you give your son a reward is also important. The reward does not always need to be a snack, for example, you can offer to read him a book or you can go to the park together and play. These things can also be rewards. You should discuss the contents of the reward with him and decide on what it will be. In addition, you should notice your son’s efforts.

Bring out your son’s independence during activities by helping him look forward to one achievement leading to the ability to do something new. For example, once your son learns to write his letters using worksheets, you can say to him, “When you draw a picture, you will be able to write your name on it,” or “After we finish the worksheets, what do you want to play?” Or you can use stickers as a reward and make an achievement chart so that your son will be able to see what activities he has done or what efforts he has made. He will be able to feel a sense of achievement. This will be very effective in bringing out your son’s assertiveness and independence. Please try these ideas.

What should I do to proceed effectively in activities with my daughter?

【Q】 My daughter studies using Shichida teaching materials. However, when I try to teach her, she nestles up to me and is not serious. Is it better to have someone else teach her? Should I have her do activities even if I have to scold her?

 

【A】 In order to do activities effectively, it is important to have a trusting relationship with your daughter.

Before doing activities, hug her and as you caress her, say to her, “○○, I love you so much. My heart always stays with yours, so you can enjoy activities.” If you can sincerely convey your love to your daughter and create a good relationship with her, various things will go smoothly. You do not have to have someone else help her or scold her and force her to do things. Try to have more physical contact with her, say many things to her and convey your love. If she can feel your love and a sense of oneness with you, she will enjoy any activity, as long as she does it together with you.

Conversely, if you always say negative words to your daughter, or scold her, she will lose her confidence in activities. Through physical contact, convey your love in the form of a tight, 8 second hug. Also, it is important to arrange the way you do activities so that you can entertain your daughter while enjoying the activities together. Without forcing your daughter, place importance on her preferences and interests.

My daughter cannot study Japanese and mathematics correctly because she reads sentences as she imagines them.

【Q】 My 7-year-old daughter has been restless since she entered elementary school. She does not read the sentences on her tests carefully. She understands the sentences as her own imaginary sentences and answers them. She did “Shichida Method Worksheets” and I did not worry about her at all. But now I am troubled by these unexpected results. She reads books everyday but she changes the sentences. She receives Bs in Japanese and mathematics. I never require her to get As in all subjects, but I think, “Her skills are not improving. Maybe I should have her go to a cram school.”

 

【A】 When children create their own sentences it is evidence that their right brain’s have been opened. From now on, you should continue to reinforce your daughter’s left brain training. Continue to have her do worksheets. It is necessary to have your daughter do as many activities as possible, which contain things she can easily do. Also, using worksheets, have her do a substantial amount of writing. Strongly connect her right brain abilities to her left brain.

Also, 7 years old is an age when parents should help their children study as often as possible. At first, read the questions together with her and help her understand when she is unable to. If you praise what she can do, you will develop her motivation to do worksheets. Her concentration will increase. For a while, you should increase the areas you assist her in and help her grow up. If you do not have worksheets, you should work with her using her returned test sheets or questions from her textbook.

My daughter has not created the habit of studying regularly.

【Q】 My daughter is 9 years old. She likes to be active and imagine. She has not easily been able to create a habit of studying regularly everyday. Even though I have my daughter make a schedule for doing activities, she cannot follow it. If I force her to do things when she does not want to do them, she roughly writes irrelevant answers. Also, she is usually at lessons and practices between the hours of 8 p.m. to 10 p.m.

 

【A】 First, think about what times are best for learning. If possible, your daughter should do “morning learning” when she is calm before she goes to school. The most suitable time for the brain to learn is in the morning. Your daughter can learn meaningfully in a short amount of time. Try to have her get in the habit of going to bed and getting up early so that she is able to wake up 5 minutes early to study. The second suitable time for studying is after dinner or after her bath. However, each household is different. Check your daughter’s mood and have her study during a time suitable for your household.

Also, you should not have her study alone. Instead, stay with her for a while and do it together. If you add outside lessons, it will be even more difficult to distribute her time. Now, it is still difficult for your daughter to independently think about and follow her studying schedule. Create a reasonable schedule with your daughter and help her strictly follow it, gradually making it her habit. It will be difficult for her to do this alone at the beginning. Help your daughter create her habit by having her independently and gradually think step by step about how to follow her studying schedule.

Since my son started going to his kindergarten, he has stopped doing worksheets.

【Q】 My son is 4 years 1 month old. He started going to kindergarten this past April. Before he did picture cards, Dots and worksheets after breakfast. However, now he says to me, “I’ll do worksheets when I get back from kindergarten.” When I try to have him do worksheets after he returns home, he says, “I can’t do it because I’m tired” and does not try at all. (If I force him to do it, he cries.) I am worried that I should stop worksheet learning until he becomes accustomed to his new environment.

 

【A】 It is hard for adults to get accustomed to new environments, too. You created a good habit of having your son do activities in the morning, so you should keep this habit. Create a habit of having your son learn at a table/desk for a decided amount of time. In order to do this, you should try to have him go to bed and get up early, and keep regular hours. Create life rhythms for him. Have him finish doing worksheets 10 to 20 minutes before going to kindergarten. In the morning, body rhythms are at their best. If he learns in the morning, he will understand what he learns. He can also do a substantial amount of learning in a short amount of time. If he gets in the habit of learning in the morning, even after he enters elementary school, you will be able to continue his daily activities smoothly. Also, find free time after your son returns from kindergarten and do picture card activities or Dots.

If your son only hates doing worksheets, it is possible that he feels that the worksheets are too hard. Check to see if there are difficult things on the worksheets and ask him why he hates doing them. If he feels that the worksheets are hard, return to the parts he can do easily, help him understand those parts, and then continue with the worksheets.

After my daughter started going to her school, she has no time to do worksheets.

【Q】 My daughter entered first grade this spring. I purchased “Japanese, Mathematics and Right Brain Worksheets for Elementary School Students”. She has done them since spring holidays began, completing 2 sheets per subject per day as recommended. However, after she started school, she lost her motivation because she comes home late, promises everyday to play with her friends and gets tired. In addition, I have been very surprised at the rapid pace of her classes at school. The contents of the classes have quickly caught up with what she was learning “in advance”. My daughter, who usually loves drills so much, is now unwillingly to do them. I try to think of various ways to motivate her, like making a schedule and chart with her and having her stamp on it if she does the worksheets, but these methods are not effective. Her classes in school go so fast. What should I do? Do you have any helpful suggestions?

 

【A】 You should change her studying to morning learning so that she can concentrate on doing activities in a short time period. Children’s life rhythms change completely after they enter school. They will not be able to keep a habit of learning after they get home from school because sometimes their friends will ask them to play. However, even if parents have children learn in the evening, their children are tired and fall asleep early. It is hard for children to learn well at this time of day. The best thing to do after your child enters school is to have her make a habit of going to bed and getting up early, and to have her do her learning before breakfast. If you have her get in the habit of learning in the morning when her mind is sharp, she can concentrate and finish in a short amount of time. You should be sure to have her do her homework, and for a while, stop doing worksheets except for those that contain the content of what she is learning at school.

It is natural for things not to go on as usual because your daughter’s habits and the way she uses her energy changed after she entered school. However, after a while, she will become accustomed to school and will have free time. At this time, you should think about correcting things. Make sure to place importance on your daughter forming the habit of doing her homework first thing after she arrives home from school. When she learns in the morning, it is difficult for her learn alone so you should stay with her during these times. But you should not teach her. Staying next to her and doing other things is sufficient. It is not effective to have her learn alone in her room. Learning in her room will be an obstacle to her. It is good to have her learn in the same room as you are in. Please try these things.

When my son has homework, he does not do activities.

【Q】 My 1st grade son seems to think that he does not have to do activities because he has homework for school. When I ask him to do cards or worksheets, he hates doing them. He says, “I just studied so I don’t have to do those.” Even if he does them, he does so unwillingly. I want him to steadily do right brain activities while he is in the lower grades of elementary school and has a relatively small amount of homework…

 

【A】 The important thing in activities is to enjoy learning and to do fun activities. If you try to have him do activities, it means that you are forcing him to do them. It may be difficult to create time for activities because he also has homework for school. But if he finishes activities before going to school, and finishes his homework, he can play until he is satisfied. We recommend that you wake your son up earlier, and have him do activities before he goes to school. You should wake him up between 6:00 and 6:30 a.m., and have him finish worksheets before he goes to school. In order to wake him up earlier, it is important to have him go to bed early. Create your son’s daily rhythms and have him go to bed at 8 p.m., or 9 p.m. at the latest. Until your son becomes accustomed to this habit you will probably have difficulties, but once he does, you will be able to advance his learning even when his grade level at school increases. If he can do his activities steadily, you should place some stickers or mark on a calendar or schedule chart. If he can do them steadily for a month, you should give him some kind of reward. Prepare for the reward, saying to him, “I’ll take you anyplace you would like to go,” or “I’ll buy a book for you.”

You should place priority on doing right brain activities in an enjoyable way. If he has fun, some results will surely appear. Make the time to do activities in the morning or during your free time on the weekend.

I want to sing songs or play hand games with my son…

【Q】 My 2-year-old son is not interested in music even though I play CDs for him. He does not seem to like hand games, dance or songs. If he has a toy, he enjoys playing with it. I want to sing songs or play hand games with my son. What should I do?

 

【A】 First, create an environment in which your son can enjoy music and song. Teach him about how enjoyable music is. Have him get familiar with music by playing music CDs as background music or singing songs. But you shouldn’t try do specific things or make your son do them but rather remember to enjoy yourself. If you show your son that you enjoy music by playing a musical instrument or moving your body to the rhythm, he too will feel the enjoyment of music.

You should choose music he likes or something suitable for his age, and have him listen to it as much as possible. He will become more interested in it. Children can imagine freely from music and enjoy imaginary worlds because music CDs have no visible elements. This is an effective way to develop children’s sensibilities.

My daughter has not played with her educational toys lately. What is a good way to help her start again?

【Q】 I bought various educational toys before my daughter entered kindergarten and she played with them. She enjoyed them before, but she does not seem to want to play with any of these toys recently. Now, she plays with stuffed animals. I wish she would play with building blocks or puzzles. Do you have any suggestions for how I can work with my 4-year-2-month-old daughter?

 

【A】 In order to attract your daughter’s attention, you should play with the toys using her favorite stuffed animal. If you use her favorite thing as the subject, and show her that you play with it, she will be interested. For example, “I will make a house with the building blocks for Bunny,” or “Bunny, let’s do puzzles together.” If your daughter is interested, connect her favorite things with activities and have her do them. For example, “Why don’t you draw a carrot for Bunny? He will love it so much,” or “Can you teach Bunny puzzles?”

Children may dislike being taught, but they love to learn through playing. Don’t think that you have to have your daughter do something, but instead see her as perfect, just the way she is. Convey your love to her and the feeling that “I’m happy just because you are here”. She will open her heart to you, and will enjoy doing activities with you.

My son just listens to the same CD.

【Q】 My son is 2 years old. He wants to listen to the same song multiple times a day. I want him to listen to various kinds of music. My daughter (5 years old) gets bored of the same music. But if I change the CD to others, my son cries. What should I do?

 

【A】 If your son does not seem to be bored of it, it is ok to have him listen to the same music. There are 2 types of reading picture books to children: “extensive reading (reading many picture books)” and “careful reading (reading the same picture book many times).” Similarly, while you can expand your son’s interests by having him listen to various kinds of music, you can also develop his wonderful sensibility toward music by having him listen to the same music many times. However, steadily allocate the time that you listen to his favorite CD so you do not always have to listen to the same song and so your daughter will not become bored of it. You should divide the time between one for your daughter and one for your son, and have them continue taking turns.

Also, when your son cries to convey his opinion it is evidence that his ego is developing. He does this because he is steadily growing up. However, if you accept his excessive demands, like listening to the same song more than the decided amount of time, your son may grow up to be selfish and unable to endure certain situations. To keep from doing this, you should clearly make rules and communicate with him about the rules. Once you make a rule, you should always keep it. Two-year-old children are capable of keeping promises. You should make promises with him like “You can listen to the CD ○(number) times,” or “When the long hand on the clock comes to ○(number), we will stop the CD.” Tell him so that he can keep his promise. When he is able to keep his promise, sincerely praise the fact that he endured, giving up his personal desire. In this way, he will not simply try to enforce his opinions.  He will grow up to be an independent child who can keep a promise and have self-control. After you clearly make promises with him, if he wants to listen to a CD repeatedly, but it is within the decided number of times, you should accept his demand. On the other hand, you should not force him to listen to other CDs, but rather encourage him to enjoy listening to CDs, saying, “Next, why don’t we listen to Asako-chan?”

My daughter is scared to listen to CDs.

【Q】 Starting 3 months ago, my daughter has been scared to listen to CDs. She only listens to α-relaxation music. Should I just wait until she wants to listen to other music? She is 2 years 7 months old.

【A】 You should stop doing what she hates, and begin with what she likes. Also, if a CD is loud, she may be irritated and not want to listen to it. If possible, lower the volume to the extent that she does not mind the sounds even during conversations. Naturally input music as background music, having her listen to it subconsciously. Play the CD as background music while you are playing together or during meals. Don’t try to “have her listen to something” but instead play it at small volumes. However, if she hates the CDs even as background music, don’t force her to listen to them but instead stop for a while. In this case, have her do activities that do not use CDs (ex. puzzles, worksheets).

I can no longer see the effects of my child’s prenatal education. Please tell me what activities to do now.

【Q】 I have a 1-year-3-month old son. I have done Shichida Method with him since before he was born. When he was 6 or 7 months old, he said, “Mommy, breast.” He astonished everyone. He has used language since he was about 10 months old. However, after that, the number of words he uses did not increase and he cannot correctly guess during card, color, or number activities, even though he was able to guess before. What kind of activities should I do with him in the future?

 

【A】 What you mention is evidence that your son’s ego is developing. For now, please concentrate on input with your son. Children guess correctly at high percentages in ESP games when their brain waves synchronize with their mother. However, when children’s egos are developing, the heart, which used to stay as one with their mother’s, separates a little. Before you do activities, it is important to be sure to convey your love and a sense of oneness with your child by hugging him or her.

In addition, now is not a time when you need to worry if your son’s answers are right or wrong. You only need to do input with him. If you feel disappointed, his feelings will be pushed even farther from you, making it even more difficult for him to guess. In the future, speak to him as much as possible and read many books to him. If you have time, read 20 or 30 easy picture books to him. He is also at a suitable age to listen to Mozart or foreign language CDs. First, do the above-mentioned activities, and then much later, think about your son’s output.

When my mother-in-law looks after my son, what activities can she do?

【Q】 My son will be 4 years old soon. I have continued doing Shichida Method activities with him since he was a baby. However, I have to enter the hospital for several months and my husband’s mother will look after him. It is difficult for her to do activities, read picture books to him and play CDs. My husband comes home late and now my son is not doing any activities. I am so afraid that his right brain, which was opened, will not work when I return home. My son is not the type of child who takes the initiative to do things on his own. I worry about what I should do.

 

【A】 While your mother-in-law is watching your son, it is going to be difficult for her to keep up activities with your son just as you have up to this point. Once you recover, it is not too late to gradually re-start activities with your son. Without thinking negatively, please do what you can for your son in your present situation.

First, remember to try to have as much physical contact with your son as possible. Also, allow your mother-in-law to do what she can in the present situation and try to leave activities to her discretion. Without requesting that she do many things, kindly ask that she do one thing that makes your son really happy, such as doing worksheets in the morning or reading a book before he falls asleep. Now, your family’s biggest hope is that you recover. Please relax and entrust your son to your mother-in-law and your husband’s care.

Chapter V

General Education

My daughter does not seem to like her piano lessons. Is it all right for her to continue taking the lessons?

【Q】 I started to have my daughter (4 years old) take group piano lessons before she had a strong desire because my aunt runs a piano school. My daughter has little motivation and seems to be unwilling to go, but she has continued for a year and a half. I am afraid that she hates the piano and that, since she hates it, it will have a bad effect on her if she continues.

 

【A】 Because your daughter is 4 years old, she is at an age where she is gradually able to express herself verbally. Ask her if she really wants to take piano lessons or not. If not, you should also ask her the reason. If she does not want to take lessons because she hates the piano, it is not good to force her to continue. It is also possible that she enjoys the piano but does not like going to lessons at the school because she feels she cannot play well. If this is the case, if she is motivated, she will practice harder. One of the ways of drawing out her motivation is to show her other children her age that can play well.

You can also do Five-Minute-Suggestions with her and in the suggestions, convey the image of her playing. After subconsciously inputting an image of her enjoying playing the piano well, have your daughter take her lessons.

In addition, enjoy doing image training together, creating images of her enjoying playing the piano well.

Should I stop my son from taking piano lessons?

【Q】 My son started learning the piano when he was 3 years 1 month old. Sometimes I have forced him to sit in front of the piano because he does not practice at all. Now, he is 4 years 5 months old. He still does not practice and says he wants to quit. I wonder if I should have him continue.

 

【A】 When children take lessons, they do not always simply have fun. They may have to practice hard. Although it is not good to force your son, it is also important for him to make efforts to continue what he is doing. Encourage him to practice well. At these times, don’t strictly say to him, “You have to practice,” or “You have to go to your lesson.” Instead say positive words to him, such as, “Your teacher is looking forward to seeing you,” and “You did ○○ well.”

The important thing in taking lessons is for your child to enjoy going and learning there. If your son feels mental or physical stress, and achieves few results, his growth will be hard to see. Because your son is at an age when he can share his opinion, discuss his feelings with him and ask him what he thinks.

My daughter is not good at practicing piano.

【Q】 My 2nd grade daughter takes piano lessons, but it is difficult for her to practice. I think she probably hates it because when she first began I would sit next to her and tell her what to do as if I were her teacher. Her teacher often praises her because she is immediately able to do what she is asked. But this seems disconnected from her practice habits. If I don’t say anything to her, she does not practice. What should I do?

 

【A】 It is fact that anyone will lose motivation if people say various things to them. Look at her good points and praise them, just as her teacher often does.

In addition, have her do image training before she actually plays the piano. It is normal for athletes to do image training and image training is thought to be important in other various areas. Playing the piano is also an important practice, but before she begins, have her do image training. Have her practice after she imagines playing the piano well. Using this method, she will be able to do anything well, and because she will continue to use her right brain, great abilities (ex. perfect pitch) will be drawn out. Her feelings of not being good at practicing will disappear. You can develop her confidence by having her imagine what she is good at. If she gains confidence, she will be willingly to practice even if you say nothing to her.

My son’s interests do not match what we want to teach him.

【Q】 As a parent, I am happy that my son remembers various academic facts. But he does not pay attention to things that he is not interested in. I end up pushing my feelings onto my son. Now that he is about 6 years old, he resists me; he is hurt by my petty words and gets in a bad mood. I cannot do activities well. For example, is it good for his right brain to play his favorite DVD at rapid speed? If it has an effect, is it ok to do it sometimes?

 

【A】 First, show him that other children or you enjoy doing activities. If you think that you are “trying to make him do something” it will never be effective. This is because your feelings are forced over his. If you force him to do something, both of you and he will feel stressed because he does not want to do it. If you would like to try to have him do something, you should show him that it is very fun. If he sees other children enjoying doing it, he will want to do it too. If you do not have this type of opportunity, try having your son watch you enjoy doing it. In this case, do it for a while and say to him, “Your father and I do this but you don’t have to.” Children hate to be forced to do things but they will want to try themselves if they see someone else enjoying it.

Using this method, whatever you have him do, it is important to draw out his interests. This is because his interests will motivate him to learn. It is true that it is good for the right brain to play DVDs at rapid speed, but it is important not to show DVDs for over 30 minutes because sometimes children will react negatively to the light or color. Also, because children under four years of age are still developing their sense of sight, we don’t really recommend this type of practice. If your son hates it, you should not force him to watch the DVD at rapid speed.

Should I have my children take lessons?

【Q】 I want my children to take lessons probably because I took many lessons (ballet, abacus, calligraphy, piano) when I was young. But my husband says that we should only have them begin if they say they want to. I think that they should experience various things, choose what they want to continue, and does so. Which is better? I feel that my children cannot choose if I do not first plant seeds of interest.

 

【A】 As you say, you should think of your children’s infancy as the time to sow the seeds of taking lessons. You should have them try various things, discover what they like or what they are well suited for, and continue taking these lessons. However, if what your children would like to do does not match what you want them to do, carefully discuss the lessons with them to make sure you are not forcing them to do something. Allow your children to do what they would like to do.

Can I let my daughter be absent from lessons or kindergarten?

【Q】 I have a question about my daughter, who has started attending kindergarten this year. Now, she is in the middle (2nd year) class. Since starting swimming lessons in July, she has not wanted me to leave her when I drop her off at kindergarten. She also seems to want to quit swimming lessons. In this case, should I force her to take lessons? Does she want to stop going to kindergarten because I forced her to go to swimming lessons? Is it ok to let her stay home when she says she doesn’t want to go to kindergarten?

 

【A】 Going to swimming lessons may have overloaded your daughter. It is important for her to enjoy taking lessons. If she says she doesn’t want to go, let her take a break for a while and watch her behavior. She doesn’t want you to leave her because she feels anxious. If she doesn’t want to go to kindergarten, allow her to stay home, clearly communicate with her and create a trusting relationship with her. The foundation of a child’s sociability is receiving an adequate amount of love from his or her mother. If you stay with your daughter all day and try to have as much physical contact with her as possible, she will be satisfied, receive your love and be all right when she has to be apart from you. If she is satisfied, she will naturally turn to focus on things outside.

In addition, using Five-Minute-Suggestions, tell her that her swimming instructor, her kindergarten teacher and her friends love her so much and that they are looking forward to seeing her. Give her these suggestions so that she will enjoy going to her lessons and school.

My daughter is left-handed. Is it better to force her to change to her right hand?

【Q】 I have a question about my daughter, who just turned 3. Before, she held plates and crayons with her right and left hands. However, recently, she wants to hold items with her left hand. She seems to be left-handed. She started doing worksheets but it seems to be difficult for her to draw a line from the left to the right (the paper gets some creases). It is difficult for me to teach her how to hold her pencil or how to write because I am right-handed. I heard that you don’t need to force a left-handed child to change to his or her right hand, but should I tell her to hold things with her right hand?

 

【A】 Children aged zero to three years old place priority on right brain work. It is natural for them to use their left hand because the right brain controls the left side of the body. (The right brain is connected with the left hand through sympathetic nerves.) After children are over 3 years old, their brain function shifts to the left brain. Some children naturally switch to their right hand but once they get in the habit of using their left hand, it will take a lot of time to correct this behavior. If, when passing something, parents pass an object to their child using their right hand or are careful to have their child switch to their right hand when doing activities, most children will become right handed. It is better for your daughter to be able to write with her right hand. But it is also good for her to be able to freely use both of her hands, so you should not force her to switch to her right hand but rather, as naturally as possible, guide her to be able to do so.

News programs have so much bad news. Should I let my children watch the news?

【Q】 I hardly watch news programs because they have so much bad news. Should I allow my children to watch these programs to receive information about society? If so, how old should they be when I allow them to watch the news?

 

【A】 It is necessary for children to watch news programs to know what is happening in the world, but it is even more important for them to develop the ability to think about the background behind the news or the ability to apply it to their own lives. Now we are immersed in an age of information. Whether we need it or not, we receive various kinds of information. Once your children go to elementary school, they will often independently choose to watch news programs. To prepare for this, you should think about the time that your children are attending nursery school and kindergarten as the period in which they should come into contact with the news and learn how to view information.

At first, you should watch the news with your children and have them think about it. Talk with them about the news and think about it together. For example, “If this occurs, then this will happen…In this case, I feel ○○. What do you think?” You should start with a news program created for children. It is also important for children to learn basic knowledge, not only from TV but also from books and newspapers.

I am troubled when my son makes up selfish rules for games.

【Q】 When I play a card game with my son (4 years old), he wants to play the role of the teacher and makes up selfish rules for the game. He does not create a game. His rules are contrary to the real rules and I am worried it. I want to have him do ESP activities, but I think, based off his actions, he will not be able to do them for a long time.

 

【A】 Children go through a phase where they want to do everything their own way. It is impossible for parents to try to control their children or to advance activities according to their own schedule because children will simply develop their own activities. If your son makes a rule, you should agree with him, for example “That’s a fun rule, isn’t it?” At first, you should satisfy his desires. Develop your son’s imagination by asking him, “Do you have any other fun rules?” If you play using his rules for a while, he will be satisfied, and will be able to listen to what you say. Then, you should introduce your rules to him, “Ok, I will also add a rule.” If parents listen to and accept their children’s feelings, they will be able to obediently accept their parents’ feelings. Your son will be able to do meditation and controlled breathing easily, and will be able to play ESP games the correct way.

Some materials offered by Shichida are videotapes or for computers. I think this is against your idea of education.

【Q】 I have a daughter under 1 year old. I don’t allow her to watch TV because I know that “TV has 100 bad effects on children and not a single good one”. However, some materials offered by Shichida are videotapes and homework from her Shichida school can be viewed on the computer. I feel that this is contradictory to your idea of education.

 

【A】 It is true that parents should keep children from watching TV and videos as much as possible. But if parents use them well, these types of media can be good teaching materials. A parent allowing their children to watch TV or video is not bad. What is bad is when parents use TV as a baby-sitter, allow their children to watch TV or videos for an extended period of time or are inconsistent with their children. Especially when children are very young, TV does have “100 bad effects on children and not a single good one”. Try to keep your daughter from watching TV as much as possible.

However, children over 2 years of age can connect their right brain (image brain) with their left brain (language brain) by repeatedly watching videos. If you use videos effectively as teaching materials for language, they will be good teaching materials. When you use them, you should restrict the time of mechanic sounds from the TV, video tapes, or CDs to under an hour and a half. Be careful to make the room bright and keep your daughter at least 3 meters away from the television. If you feel that you have had her watch it too much, you should try to work with her using your words such as reading a book to her or speaking more with her.

I do not want to let my son play video games…

【Q】 I have a question about my 2nd grade son. In our house, we decided that we would never buy video games or hand held electronic games. However, all his friends have them; they do not invite him to play because he does not have one. He is alone after school. (He and his friends get along at school.) He loves his friends. When I see him feeling lonely, I feel sorry for him but I do not want to change the policy of our household. I worry about it. Please give me some good advice.

 

【A】 Most children have video games in their home. They hardly play outdoors and stay in the house all day. If they do not have a certain video game, they cannot play with their friends. These types of cases are increasing. Because you decided to never buy portable electronic games or video game consoles, it is important to follow the rules of your home and to communicate with your son without going against what you decided. Since your son is still able to get along with his friends and he is still included as a member of their group at school, you should find other children who can play with him after school. One of ways to have him make friends is to have him take part in a community event or club. Or you can give him the opportunity to make friends by having him take some kind of lesson.

He may be bored in his present situation, but surely he will be able to make new friends. You should encourage him to find new friends by saying “Some children want to play outdoors. Let’s find friends like that for you.” You should convey your love and positive image to your son. Support him mentally and guide him so that he is able to enjoy his life.

Chapter VI

Nutrition・Physical Education

I cannot stop breast-feeding my son. What should I wean him?

【Q】 My 1-year-5-month-old son cannot stop breast-feeding. I heard that this could have a negative effect on his language development. I want him to stop immediately but I am worried because he wakes up and cries two or 3 times in the middle of the night. I have no trouble with him in the daytime because he is happy all the time. If you have any good suggestions, I would like to hear them.

 

【A】 After children are over a year old, breast milk’s positive influence on immunity has disappeared. Children nurse mainly because they want to nestle up to their mother. In the Shichida Method, if a child is able to eat solid foods, we recommend that his or her mother stop breast-feeding when he or she is around 15 to 18 months old. You should watch your child’s condition and decide what time is best for your son to stop breast-feeding. Once you decide on the timing, please believe in him and follow through with it. It is also necessary to have a strong will and be decisive.

You can try drawing his favorite character or animal on your breast, and saying to him, “The cat says good bye. From today, we will stop breast-feeding. Let’s say goodbye together. Bye-bye!” However, touching their mother’s breast may relieve children. Have your son feel this relief by hugging him and playing with him often during the day.

I cannot stop breast-feeding my daughter.

【Q】 My daughter is 2 years 2 months old. She still wants to nurse and cannot stop breast-feeding. I have persuaded her to stop many times, but eventually she will cry as if she is possessed. Also, she cannot fall asleep without nursing. She does not lack physical contact and my husband and I both hug her once everyday.

 

【A】 All children experience weaning and eventually they will be able to stop breast-feeding someday. But your negative feelings will be conveyed to your daughter as waves. Don’t think too seriously about the situation. Instead communicate with her open-heartedly.

In these types of situations, Five-Minute-Suggestions, in which parents give suggestions to their child’s subconscious, are much more effective than persuading the child to stop when he or she is awake. When your daughter is sleeping, you should give her suggestions while you stroke her body, “○○(her name), you are sleeping now, but there is a place awake in your head. So you can see what I say. I love you so much. My heart always stays with yours. You can easily say goodbye to nursing. You see. You have done it.” Convey your belief in your daughter and imagine her making your suggestions come true.

My son is already 1 year old, but he hardly eats solid food.

【Q】 My son is already 1 year old, but he hardly eats baby food. He still nurses. He probably doesn’t eat baby food because I breast-feed him. But it is important for him to “chew” things. I am worried that even though my son is a year old I have not started feeding him solid foods. Do you have any good advice?

 

【A】 Before breast-feeding, try giving your son solid food. Even if he only eats a little, it is ok. Nursing has many benefits to children, such as deepening their strong, trusting relationship with their mother and the important task of developing immunity. However, if they continue breast-feeding for a long time, it may cause them to have unbalanced nutrition or cavities. Also, if the development of a child’s chewing strength is delayed, the development of his or her mind and language will be delayed more than other children. The method of proceeding with solid foods is different for each child but try nursing your son after you feed him solid foods. You do not have to increase the amount of baby food immediately. You should begin by giving him a spoonful of baby food. The first step of solid foods is for children to practice swallowing food. You should give him the least resistant food as possible. Begin with fruit juice, which is a liquid just like your breast milk, but has a different color. Then, gradually move on to soft rice porridge, mashed rice porridge, potato rice porridge and mashed stewed vegetables. If he can mash food with his tongue or gums and chew it, you should give him a soft, boiled vegetable stick. Have him practice holding and eating it. If you can proceed with his weaning, you should also stop nursing him as soon as possible.

My 3-year-old daughter still nurses.

【Q】 My daughter is 3 years old but she still nurses. She breast-feeds when she gets up in the morning, before her nap and when she goes to bed at night. She wakes up once every few hours, nurses and falls asleep again. I think this is because she nurses before going to bed at night. I am a little tired and I feel that my daughter is not able to sleep soundly. I’ve failed to stop her breast-feeding many times because I cannot endure the times when she cries. However, I want her to stop. What should I do?

 

【A】 She does not wake up at night because she wants to nurse. She probably does this because it is her habit. If you allow her to continue, it will only be more difficult to stop breast-feeding her later. If she eats enough, she will not need your breast milk. Make sure to give her 3 meals a day.

In order to stop her nursing in the middle of the night, it is necessary for you to be strong willed and decisive. Once you decide that you stop breast-feeding her, you cannot stop nursing her for a few days and then start again when you have been worn down by her crying. Guide her to fall asleep by gently patting her body or holding her in your arms. In addition, have your daughter soak in warm water before going to bed and give her a glass of water just after her bath so that she will sleep soundly until the next morning. During the daytime, have her play actively. Try to have more physical contact with her than usual as preparation for stopping breast-feeding. Relieve her anxieties by conveying your love to her. If she is satisfied, she will calm down, and will be able to smoothly stop nursing.

Also, it is good to give her Five-Minute-Suggestions by saying, “My heart always stays with yours. So, don’t worry. You can sleep soundly at night.” It is also important to believe in your daughter’s ability to do it. If you proceed with her weaning and feel anxious about it, wondering if she can do it, it will not work. Believe in her and proceed with a relaxed heart.

I am troubled by my son’s constant playing while eating. When I get angry with him, he plays even more!

【Q】 My son is 1 year 2 months old. I am worried that his “playing while eating” is a serious problem. It is good for him to want to feed himself. But if I have him hold a spoon or chopsticks, he beats hard on the plate. Also, he throws the spoon or the chopsticks and turns over the bowl. At first, I try to convince him not to do these things by saying “You should not waste food.” But eventually, I get angry with him, and shout “No!” He seems happy and starts playing even more. I am worried about this.

 

【A】 Your son is at an age when children learn various things through experience. Children will often eat in ways that are unclear if they are eating or playing. But if they are allowed to eat by themselves, they will quickly become skilled at feeding themselves. If you spread a plastic sheet under the dining table or put an apron on him, he will create less mess. It is also good to give him something he can hold. His motivation to eat will develop by holding foods such as vegetable sticks or bread crusts.

Also, if children are not so hungry, they tend to play with their food. You should make sure that your son is hungry so that he feels meals are delicious. Decide on snack times and keep that schedule.

My daughter cannot eat her meals sitting down.

【Q】 My daughter just turned 1, but she cannot eat meals while sitting down nicely. My brother recently said to me, “This is also about your discipline. So, force her to eat sitting down.” Others say that it is too early for a 1-year-old child to sit down. I am confused about what I should do.

 

【A】 Your daughter is at the age where her range of action and interest in her surroundings is growing. During meals, children often view eating as playing. It is important to discipline your daughter to eat meals while sitting nicely. But overlook the small things because she is still 1 year old. However, if you try multiple times to get her to eat and she still does not, you should put away her dishes. Meal times are different in each house but you should have your daughter finish eating within 30 to 45 minutes. When the decided time comes, you should say to her, “If you do not eat sitting down, I’ll put everything away.” If she does not eat, you should immediately put everything away. Using this method, your daughter will understand that she does not get to eat if she doesn’t do so during the mealtime. Decide on a standard for your home and try to consistently communicate it to her. She will be able to understand what good and bad actions are. This understanding will lead her to take the right actions and is a step of her growth. You should not give her frequent snacks or increase the amount of her snacks because she didn’t eat her meal. Instead, keep the amount and time of her snacks regular. It is important to draw out your daughter’s appetite so that she will eat during mealtimes.

It takes a long time for my son to finish a meal.

【Q】 It takes about an hour for my son to finish a meal. Before he eats, I say to him, “When it is ○ o’clock, you have to finish eating.” When the time comes, whether he is finished or not, I try to put the dishes away. But he cries and gets angry with me. Should I put everything away even though he cries?

 

【A】 Until your son is about a year and a half old it is necessary to be open hearted and allow your son to play a little when he eats. However, after he is older than this age, if he starts to play you should not let him eat for an extended period of time. Instead decide on a meal length (within about 30 to 40 minutes). When the allotted time is up, say to him, “We’re finished,” and immediately put away all the dishes. Draw out your son’s appetite by having him endure his hunger until the next mealtime. In order to make sure he eats enough, do not give him too much snack and clearly separate the times you have him eat meals. If he can sense hunger, he will clearly understand that if he doesn’t eat during mealtimes he will be uncomfortable. Also, you should give him Five-Minute-Suggestions such as, “Let’s eat quickly.”

My sons are restless.

【Q】 I have a question about my 2 sons. This April, one of them will be in his final year of preschool and the other in his first year. They are especially restless recently and I feel that they are not able to calmly sit down. I want to say to them at their Shichida school or during everyday life, “Can’t you just sit nicely for a little bit?” Are they active because they are boys? Or are they hyperactive? I am afraid that there is a reason for their excessive activity. My older son will be an elementary school student next year. If I give them lecithin, will I be able to see an effect?

 

【A】 Children get interested in various things and playing is like their job. In addition, your sons are at an age when children are curious and active. When they trouble or hurt someone or do something dangerous, you should not get angry with them, but instead, it is important to talk to them about their actions seriously. In order to guide them to be able to listen to others, you should place importance on reading books to them everyday and listening to everything they say. In their daily life, you should have plenty of conversations with them. Try to listen carefully when they speak, and have them listen to you carefully when you speak. Also, when they are able to listen to others, even a little, you should sincerely praise them.

On the other hand, please think about their diet. Eating habits have a big effect on children’s attitude and growth. You should be careful that your children do not eat too much sugar, meat, dairy products or sweets. Eating too much sugar makes children hyperactive. It is effective to stop giving hyperactive children sugar. There are some examples in which hyperactive children recover rapidly when they stop consuming sugar. Try to include “MaGoWaYaSaShiI” [a Japanese acronym to remember what traditional foods to consume: beans, sesame, seaweeds, vegetables, fish, mushrooms and potatoes] in your children’s daily eating habits. We recommend giving your children lecithin because it functions to activate the circulation of blood. For example, it activates cell function, removes wastes and harmful substances from the blood vessels, carries nutrients to various systems in the body and supplies them with oxygen. Also, a lack of calcium or magnesium is another cause of children’s restlessness. Use these supplements effectively.

My son cannot feed himself.

【Q】 My son is 2 years 4 months old. I am worried because he does not feed himself. It’s ok if he needs someone to help him adjust the size of the food so that he can hold or eat it easily. However, he asks me to feed him by opening his mouth. He eats his snacks by himself though. I worry about next year when he starts preschool.

 

【A】 He probably wants to be spoiled slightly during meals. If you strongly want him to quickly become independent, he will stick even closer to you, contrary to your expectations. Now, you should accept him as he is, saying, “○○(his name), you are like a baby,” and feed him. You said he is able to feed himself snacks. When he is able to eat by himself, you should praise him dramatically. Patiently develop his motivation to feed himself.

Also, it is also good to give your son a goal by putting food on his plate and saying, “Today, try eating this by yourself.” If he cannot finish everything, please praise him for what he was able to do. Try to give him confidence and develop his motivation to feed himself. Another good way to get him to feed himself is to give him something he can hold and eat. Gradually develop his motivation to feed himself by increasing the things he can do by himself. After children enter preschool, they are suddenly serious and learn to eat by themselves because the other children can. You should not be too worried about his future right now. You can also do Five-Minute-Suggestions and have him imagine that he can feed himself.

My daughter is attached to the snacks and juice served in other homes.

【Q】 I think that I should give my daughter foods that are good for her body and I try not to buy instant noodles or snacks with too many additives in them. However, as a reaction to this, she is always asking for snacks or juice at my parents’ house or my husband’s parents’ house. Her attitude is ugly. I am concerned that I am following the wrong type of nutrition. What should I do?

【A】 Lighten up the rules in your house a little and give her time to judge if foods are good or bad. It is very important to consider your daughter’s growth and to try not to give her foods with too many additives. However, if you are strict with the rules, and strictly forbid her from eating them, she will want to eat them because it is contrary to your expectations. This behavior is instinctual. She understands that food additives are bad for her body because she learns about them in her daily life, but most likely, she cannot endure her desire to eat them. You should lighten the rules in your house slightly. For example, find something that she can eat a little of. Change the rule to be something like, “This is not so great for our bodies. So, we will not eat it everyday. But you can have a little today,” or “You can eat these things when you receive them as a snack at your friend’s house.” Teach her what is good or bad in a rational manner and guide her so that she is able to control herself. After steadily telling her that something is bad, you should make a rule or slightly loosen a rule you already have.

I have awful morning sickness. How can I change my physical condition?

【Q】 I always have awful morning sickness. I have lost 20 kg. In addition, I have been in the hospital because of an awful disease for the last 3 months. What can I do from now on to ease my morning sickness?

【A】 The cause of morning sickness is thought to be a lack of nourishment. Until you become pregnant you are able to obtain enough nourishment for yourself. But now, because you are pregnant, you have to obtain enough nutrients for 2 people. You experience a lack of nourishment because the size of your meals does not rapidly increase. You can recover from this deficiency by obtaining the essential vitamins and minerals, particularly those from the vitamin B group. Be sure to obtain proper nourishment when you are pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant. Your morning sickness should be slightly cured. In addition, we recommend you use “Goodness Iron” (Shichida Product No.803-121/\1,600).

In your daily life, you should try to maintain a well-balanced diet. If your morning sickness is awful, please ask your unborn baby to help cure it, “I love you so much. We are looking forward to meeting you. I am suffering so much. Can you please help these feelings?” Your unborn baby will listen and make your morning sickness easier to endure.

Chapter VII

Learning Language

Should I correct my daughter’s rough pronunciation?

【Q】 I have my daughter listen to an English tape everyday during meals. She is able to remember English phrases. Because she remembers words aurally, her words sound similar to English. However, her pronunciation is rough. Should I correct it? When I say the correct words, sometimes she says, “This way is fine,” and becomes silent.

 

【A】 English pronunciation is determined by the amount of English she is exposed to. Try to have her listen to many CDs that use correct English pronunciation. Develop her ears so that she can listen to English and understand it by hearing the correct pronunciation. Her English seems to be rough but you should not correct her pronunciation or have her say things again correctly. It is natural for children’s English pronunciation to be unclear if they have only been speaking for a short time. This is similar to how they could not speak Japanese well when they first started to speak it. Children will acquire English by inputting it using CDs and imitating it through play. Once you make her aware that her English pronunciation is bad, she will deal with it using her left brain, and it will become worse. Try as much as possible to keep her from becoming aware of her poor pronunciation and continue to do correct input with her.

You should focus on 3 main activities: CDs, flashing English vocabulary cards and reading English picture books to her. Children are geniuses at learning language. They learn the language by accepting the sounds they hear without reservation. If she experiences English picture books, she can acquire the grammar rules contained in the book without having the English drilled into her. Have her do the activities without requiring understanding, and she will definitely be able to acquire English ability. You should not be too eager for results. Please have her enjoy doing it.

Should I have my son listen to vocabulary or sentences in English?

【Q】 I want to have my 8-month-old son listen to English. Should I begin with English vocabulary or English sentences? Are they both ok?

 

【A】 The basis of English activities is English vocabulary. While you input vocabulary with him, you should have him listen to as many CDs as possible, for example, those with an easy story or song. If you input vocabulary with him, and he starts using a lot of vocabulary, we recommend you increase the amount of sentences you input with him.

Also, in order to make his English available, it is necessary to have him experience English conversation in his daily life. Have him listen to English conversations or CDs. You can develop his ears by having him listen to CDs naturally. He will be able to listen to English and understand it.

The right brain has a great ability to acquire language. The circuits for language are created in your son’s head through simple input, without requiring that he memorize or understand it. In addition, it is important to introduce English into expression by the left brain through having him “speak” or “write” it. You should flash English vocabulary cards, have him listen to CDs many times and read English picture books to him. Then, you should guide him to recite the English. Have him do these 3 activities as important pillars of his language learning.

I have no confidence in my English pronunciation.

【Q】 My son was born this past March. I want to read English picture books to him but I have no confidence in my English pronunciation. I read in a book that we should not have children listen to too many mechanical sounds. However, is it ok if I create a time limit and have my son listen during this time? Also, the TV is often on in our house. Will it have any bad effects on him?

 

【A】 It is thought that English pronunciation is determined by the amount of English heard. You should have your son do activities using CDs for 30 minutes (if possible, 90 minutes) a day. You can read to him and you do not have to worry because you will be inputting correct English pronunciation using the CDs. You should mainly have him listen to the correct English pronunciation and develop his ears so that he is able to listen to English and understand it. Also, depending on his age, he may be at an age when it is important for him to hear many words spoken in your own voice. You should not only have him listen to CDs, but also read English picture books to him. You should say as many words as possible to him.

However, it is not good for him to listen to too many mechanical sounds. You should decide on a set amount of time for him to listen to CDs each day, and follow it. At your parents’ home, you cannot force other family members to stop enjoying watching TV. Instead, try to keep your son as far away as possible from the TV or turn down the volume. If you are still concerned about it, you should lay him down in another room.

How does Shichida Method Education teach English conversation?

【Q】 My daughter will be 3 years old soon. My friends have started having their child attend an English conversation school. I decided to have my daughter learn English using Shichida Method teaching materials, but since my friends started having their child attend the conversation school, I wonder if I should also have my daughter attend. Please tell me your ideas about English conversation within Shichida Method Education.

 

【A】 We are unsure what kind of activities they do at the school, but people cannot acquire languages easily using the learning methods of the left brain (using gradual improvement techniques). Shichida uses the input of massive vocabulary, English conversation, English stories and the recitation of English picture books to have children acquire the language. Have your daughter do right brain learning in which you input a massive amount of information with her and then, have her output it.

Infants are geniuses at learning languages. Unlike adults, they place priority on right brain functions and subconsciously deal with input information. They also have a very high ability to deal with information, use it freely, and remember words. Children place priority on their right brain function until they are 6 years old. After they are over this age, their brain shifts to the conscious brain and they cannot naturally acquire what they learn subconsciously. For this reason, while your daughter is in the right brain stage, it is important to develop her ability to listen to English. Children will acquire words in a short amount of time and re-create these words perfectly.

Also, the basis of language is vocabulary. If you input massive vocabulary into her, because of the massive amounts of sounds, her expressions and thoughts will be rich and her listening skill will develop. In order to do this, do 3 activities as important pillars of language learning: have her listen to CDs of English songs or English conversation, read her English picture books and flash English vocabulary cards. However, if you try to have her acquire both Japanese and English at the same time, work on either language will not be sufficient and she will not acquire both languages. If her Japanese skill is already low, her English skill will not develop as you hope. You should give her enough time to learn both languages.

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